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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel sorry for my friend with the eco-warrior DH?

304 replies

k2p2k2tog · 15/02/2018 14:29

(sort of lighthearted but not really)

Very close friend is married to a professional eco-warrior. He's employed high up in a green charity and has in the past been involved in Green politics. They have two daughters of school age. Friend also works but not in the green sector, she's a nurse.

Because her DH is a dyed in the wool "knit your own lentil" person, he has to be seen to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. Nothing non-eco. They do have a car, but he cycles to work and she takes the train.

But what makes me feel REALLY sorry for her, and her girls, is that they have bought a touring caravan for all holidays. Despite the fact they're earning good money and could afford a week in the sun somewhere, they spend every holiday cooped up in a tin box so he can show what a WORTHY person he is.

They are currently in Wales. In the freezing cold and rain. In fucking FEBRUARY.

OP posts:
Motoko · 17/02/2018 10:48

I follow Andrew Ditton on YouTube, he lives in an Airstream. Recently, one company loaned him one of their camper vans for 6 weeks, so he went up to Scotland and toured the Islands. Some of the days he filmed, the weather was gorgeous, with clear blue skies. The beaches have pure white sands and clear blue water. If you took a picture and photoshopped a few palm trees, people would think it was a tropical island. Not as warm though!
Anyway, he and his little dog Dougal, were warm and toasty in the van. I was quite envious.

Twofishfingers · 17/02/2018 10:53

Nothing to feel sorry for. It's their choice.

I love going camping, even in winter, and all my mates laugh at me because they prefer sipping a margarita on some anonymous beach somewhere on a all inclusive holiday. I have never ever been on a proper beach holiday it's my idea of hell. I have never stayed in a hotel with a pool. I've survived for 46 years and so have my kids. Get over yourself and the fact that not everyone shares your values.

MrsRobertPeterWilliams · 17/02/2018 10:55

Caravans have heating you know??!!

Purplemond · 17/02/2018 14:42

if they are ecofriendly will they even have heating at home ? they are probably acustomed to the cold and having cold showers if that is what they do normally at home

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/02/2018 14:53

ifailed they have school aged kids so unlikely that they will be taking a holiday starting on a Tuesday in term time.....

TooManyPaws · 17/02/2018 15:10

I'm in Scotland and I love my caravan holidays. Mine isn't one of the fancy new ones with central heating and lots of insulation but it's still warm and cosy. One of the best holidays I have had was Christmas in York and Hogmanay in Stonehaven (for the fireball twirling). We went to Arran for a fabulous week last year. The dogs love it to the extent that they will use any excuse to hang out inside it on the drive. And the ferry port at Hull is within a day's drive.

What's wrong with eco principles, anyway? I love my solar panels, renewable heating, log burner and huge garden. I work for a local authority that is committed to recycling and makes it easy to make it a habit. Even Aldi's cosmetics and household cleaners are certified cruelty free. It's not actually that difficult to live a life a little more concerned about what you're doing to the planet, even if you think you couldn't be as committed to it as your friend's husband.

Your insistence that your income is twice theirs and you have been married for umpteen years - what in the hell is the point of that?

iamthere123 · 17/02/2018 17:26

A week somewhere hot and sticky and having to wear clothes that make me feel exposed/fat/trying too hard to look nice would make me miserable. A warm, cosy caravan, wrapped up against the cold, cooking nourishing stuff and knitting with the radio on and no work to do before the end of half term and I go back to school, sounds absolutely perfect! If she’s not happy with him I will happily exchange places right now!

Shockers · 17/02/2018 17:42

I bloody love my caravan and have been away in it at every time of year. Caravans do have heating you know!

Plus, Wales is the most beautiful place in the whole wide world (IMO Grin), so YABU!

user1492877024 · 17/02/2018 17:52

Shockers

Plus, Wales is the most beautiful place in the whole wide world (IMO grin), so YABU!

It isn't, it really isn't. I take it you haven't travelled much. Wales is indeed nice, but it doesn't compare to the wilds of Alaska.

Gide · 17/02/2018 17:54

Not my kind of holiday, but each to his own. I’d find it very hard to never go abroad to visit other cultures even if I were a proper eco-warrior.

Isn’t having children one of the most environmentally damaging things you can do to the planet? Not being goady, just stating a fact.

holasoydora · 17/02/2018 17:57

user, shockers said in her opinion. And I would hazard a guess not many on this thread have been to Alaska. Congratulations that you have though.

Flatprob · 17/02/2018 18:03

I'm not going to bash someone trying to prevent damage to the environment. Refreshing attitude in this world of hypocrisy.

user1471469504 · 17/02/2018 18:05

We are going on holidays to wales in late April (from Ireland), staying at Bluestone. I hope wales isn’t as miserable as you paint it!!!

Shockers · 17/02/2018 18:06

I’ve travelled a fair bit, but you’re right, I haven’t been to Alaska.

I assumed (wrongly it would seem) that the Grin would show that my comment was playful, although West Wales is one of my favourite places, despite my fairly extensive travels. I lived there as a child and it holds a special place in my heart.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/02/2018 18:08

We have a”tin box”
We have even used it in November Shock
But my kids live in Wales all year round so OP feel free to pity them to your hearts content
Just out of curiosity are you always a wanker or did you save it for this threadHmm

TemporarySign · 17/02/2018 18:10

Some of the posts and attitudes on this thread are truly alarming - as if anyone interested in learning and trying to live a decent life is a 'smug self-satisfied twat'.

No, it is the people who are not interested in learning and trying to live decent lives who are complacent and arrogant fools.

KarmaStar · 17/02/2018 18:14

If he didn't drag her there screaming and kicking and she's not complained I really don't see the point of your thread.they could be really enjoying family time doing things they enjoy.clearly it wouldn't suit you but don't judge them because their holiday isn't up to your standards.

Alleycat1 · 17/02/2018 18:14

I lived in Alaska for 8 years. Stunningly beautiful but Wales is also beautiful in its own way. I wouldn't be up for a caravan holiday in winter in either place though.

maggie222 · 17/02/2018 18:18

I am currently in my tin box. I have a vw camper. We are in Scotland and it's beautiful. Middle of nowhere watching seals in the bay.

We have a heater, solar panels, tv, gadgets galore. The sun has been out all day.

The van cost over 45k so we could have had many "holidays in the sun" but pissing about like cattle waiting for delayed flights is our idea of hell so give me my tin box in Feb anyday 😁

MagnaWiles · 17/02/2018 18:24

I'd actually really love to be off in Wales in a caravan right now, despite the weather. I like the idea of being somewhere remote and quiet with a flask of tea and some board games. It takes all sorts. Maybe she likes him and his hand-knitted lentils!

Sadik · 17/02/2018 18:25

"He does realise his DC will grow up to own 4x4s go on all inclusive holidays 3 times per year and have every labour saving device and the central heating turned up to 27 degrees"

Living in West Wales, I know a lot of 2nd (and even 3rd) generation adults who grew up in hippy communes / benders / vans etc etc. I am struggling to think of any that fit the stereotype above. Even the ones that have gone off to live in cities generally have what you'd think of as 'worthy' jobs (city farms / teaching in inner city schools / womens refuges, that sort of thing). I'm afraid it seems that ethical principles have a real habit of rubbing off . . .

I'm also very grateful for all the people who are holidaying in our town this half term and spending their money here! Pubs / cafes / shops are stacked out with (surprisingly cheerful looking) tourists.

gamerwidow · 17/02/2018 18:26

It's not my choice of holiday but I don;t think your friend or her children need my or your pity. Good for him and her for following their principles I assume she wasn't forced to marry him and agree to share his lifestyle choices. Those kids will probably have loads of memorable experiences in that caravan more so than going to some identikit cottage or foreign resort every year.
I have friends who go camping with their kids in all weathers and their kids absolutely love it. I personally won't be found under canvas without an humanitarian disaster having taken place but I don't feel look down at people who feel differently.

Turnitaroundagain · 17/02/2018 18:27

I remember being in a caravan in Wales when I was a kid, it peed down the whole time but I loved it coz we were all cosy and together playing cards and stuff. Whereas a holiday in Spain was the worst ever couldn’t wait to get home. So put your judgey pants away caring about the environment isn’t the worst thing a person can do.

user1492877024 · 17/02/2018 18:27

holasoydora

I find it odd that you feel the need to congratulate me. This isn't a competition, you know.

Sadik · 17/02/2018 18:27

I mean surprisingly cheerful looking given some of the views expressed on this thread - I like it here, and it's not surprising to me they're having a nice time Grin