See this is where the whole ‘it’s my rights argument falls down’. Without either playing SEN bingo or the pity party. People deliberately avoid anyone putting that awkward status quo forward.
Whose rights trump who’s. Let’s say fuck it to all the NT people they have to put up and shut up. However two disabled people? Who’s rights beat who’s? People can’t answer that without sounding totally out of order, so they don’t. Or they do and they are really hypocritical without realising.
I remember once being a position where my child screamed and screamed. We were at Disneyland. We didn’t fly god no, like I said before my youngest have never been on a plane for good reason. That means me, my husband and our eldest have ‘given up our right’ to go on a far away holiday because it wouldn’t work. I call it adapting to our children’s needs myself and not forcing them into a situation.
Anyway my child screamed blue murder because the train left and he couldn’t understand why. I have to say also being deaf it just went on and I knew it wouldn’t stop. There was another profoundly disabled child, much older and I could see this noise was too much. It was ‘our right’ to access the disabled carriage on the train as much as it was ‘her right’.
Being a grown up though and not being selfish, I removed my child from the situation to save further upset. I didn’t want to upset my child and thought we’d come back later when the platform was empty. That situation was not working. Equally the other child could enjoy the ride. That parent thanked me later in the hotel and said I didn’t have to leave, however it would have ruined the rest of the holiday for her DD if we’d just stayed and got on the train together as she wouldn’t have coped. She was actually quite tearful because she wasn’t going to ask me to leave, but it would’ve ruined her DD’s holiday. As a SN parent you do have to make decisions if something will be suitable and change them at short notice. Not bang on about rights. Working with others and thinking about others in the same boat. The child was like that before take off and he should’ve been removed with the running around and climbing. For his safety more than anything. It was not fair on him or anyone else.
I don’t know why so many people over the years rather than become fighters and advocates for disabled rights FOR ALL have become so selfish. I have said it before and I stand by it. I’ve been in this world with these fights for 16 odd years. Although acceptance has increased, tolerance hasn’t. Tolerance has actually got worse in the last two decades.
I do put it down to selfishness and the my rights brigade. I can almost hear the eye rolls nowadays if people hear of my children’s conditions. Almost like here we go, the excuses are coming.
If people were more understanding as a whole and were more considerate of others, including other disabilities. Supporting each other. So many people with disabled children have said if this was their child on that flight. They would have to leave or if stuck after take off it would’ve been really debilitating. How’s that fair? If people were not so quick to join the outrage bus of offence, screaming my rights. You might find people more tolerant.