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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been quite shocked by my friend and think this was really bad manners

169 replies

takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 14:55

I was having dinner with my friend and her two year old DS. We both ordered salmon and the dish came with new potatoes and peas. The portions were quite large so there was a bit of fussing as Webb ‘donated’ some food to DS for his dinner.

OP posts:
Aridane · 14/02/2018 23:10

(Or at best a bit gauche)

Allthecoolkids · 14/02/2018 23:17

You ate the extra food.
You’re mad at yourself for doing this.

But rather than deal with the actual root you’ve started a thread about being shocked at your friend’s bad manners.

HTH.

te7037 · 14/02/2018 23:26

I don't know what the real fuss is about. It's either you said no to whatever you felt inappropriate or move on.

Life is too short to be squabbling about foods being shared with children.

FluffyPineapple · 14/02/2018 23:28

I have to go back to Ikea tomorrow to change some bedding - because I bought single size sheets instead of universal size FFS!

Please can someone tell me if the salmon is eatable. I can't go to Ikea without having lunch there. It's against my principles. And I can't eat meatballs twice in 2 days....And after reading this thread about salmon I quite fancy it now. I don't like salmon that tastes too strong. Not fussy! Oh no!!.....

Someone? Anyone?

OkPedro · 14/02/2018 23:37

Did the op actually say it was ikea?! Confused

mathanxiety · 14/02/2018 23:42

I couldn’t say no thank you as half a salmon and several potatoes were plopping down

Yes you could have.
Or you could have put your arm up to block her.

You definitely didn't have to eat it. The fish were dead and beyond caring what happened to them. The time for sentimentality over the fate of the fish was long past.

Mxyzptlk · 14/02/2018 23:44

You ate the food. Therein lies the problem.

That is a problem, but the problem of whether OP should eat it shouldn't have come up, as friend shouldn't have dumped it on OP's plate without asking if she wanted it.

People saying there's nothing odd about what the friend did, are nuts.

Mxyzptlk · 14/02/2018 23:45

you could have put your arm up to block her.

Yes, it's a pity the OP wasn't on the alert to break out a self defence move or two.

FluffyPineapple · 14/02/2018 23:46

Did the op actually say it was ikea?!

Yes. Someone asked if it was Ikea and OP agreed. I cant be arsed to look through the thread to find it now though. I didn't really understand it the first time round...

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 14/02/2018 23:49

Tell Webb to fuck off with the peas and tato's

cushioncovers · 14/02/2018 23:51

Yabu I would be delighted if my friends gave me some of their food.

MyKingdomForBrie · 14/02/2018 23:58

I think if any of the food made a ‘plopping’ sound as it landed it must have been disgusting in the first place, salmon and potatoes shouldn’t make that noise unless dropped from a height.

YABU not to have the veggie meatballs.

I’m unsurprised you think she was rude given your amazing ability to take offence at nothing as demonstrated with gay abandon in this thread thus far.

AnoiaUnstickMyDrawers · 15/02/2018 00:10

Interfering with the food on anyone else's plate is rude.

Adding more is just as rude as nicking some.

Even with family I would say a quick 'do you want this?' even if I'm 100% sure they will want it.

I don't think she was in mum mode - she said 'there's too much food'. For her. But not enough for op apparently. I would be cross with her for assuming I want to eat a meal and a half, and in op's situation I would be cross with myself for eating it.

I would have said something to her though op. Perhaps even put her extras in a veg dish so I wasn't staring at them trying to resist scoffing the lot.

mathanxiety · 15/02/2018 00:12

Putting up an arm to fend off grabbers is a standard dinnertime move in many larger families and school lunch rooms. I see no reason not to use it for a dumper too It's not a self defence move. It's just another way of communicating.

StaplesCorner · 15/02/2018 00:28

Personally I think the salmon in IKEA is rank. Have the prawn open sandwich that's nice.

So this is madness, was there any explanation? Why on earth didn't you say anything? Can I just check did she do it as you'd given her DS your food?

FluffyPineapple · 15/02/2018 00:42

Thanks Staples. I suspected the salmon wouldn't be up to much....Ill try the prawn open sandwich on your recommendation ;)

Well...despite OP making a thing of friends DS in her post it seems that the thread has nothing to do with friends DS. Confused? So am I .....

StaplesCorner · 15/02/2018 00:43

Yeah Fluffy if you have the prawn open sandwich then you can easily neck a pastry on top.

FluffyPineapple · 15/02/2018 00:46

Yeah Fluffy if you have the prawn open sandwich then you can easily neck a pastry on top

I like your thinking Staples :)

chocorabbit · 15/02/2018 01:03

Probably she felt embarrassed having taken food off your plate for her DS and tried to make it up by returning some but gave you too much. I don't think she was trying to be rude.

SilverBirchTree · 15/02/2018 05:19

Sounds like OP has some sensitivity around food and body image, which lots of people do. No need to pile on and make OP feel worse.

But to answer OP’s question, I don’t think your friend was rude. She has accidentally stepped into a sensitive area for you, and inadvertently upset you by doing so.

But her actions were innocuous in and of themselves.

Chicken1970 · 15/02/2018 06:18

For various reasons, sharing with a child/toddler isn't rude or insensitive, unless you and your friend have a shared dish. Piling up food on your plate is more insensitive than rude, as she should've asked. Plus you could have said stop please. Was it an expensive dish?

Moonandstars84 · 15/02/2018 08:43

I vote with rude op. I also think she could be a feeder. I have a feeder in my life so I understand.

Viviennemary · 15/02/2018 17:48

What a confusing post. I read it that the veg for two people came on the one dish and OP's friend took some of the veg from that dish and gave it to her DS. Seems not. What actually did happen??

Mivery · 15/02/2018 17:52

I mean, it's weird I guess, but I wouldn't make a post about it.

Bluntness100 · 15/02/2018 17:58

The food came , thr friend gave some from both plates to the child. She then gave food back and more.

I'm wondering if the friend thought the op was pissed to lose some of her food so tried to compensate too. Maybe a look on her face.

The fact the op said nothing, didn't stop her giving her loads of food, no "god no, I'm watching my weight ot I can't eat all that" she just accepted it without comment and ate it all. Then got pissed off later and decided the friend was rude for giving her extra food in thr first place and started a thread.