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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been quite shocked by my friend and think this was really bad manners

169 replies

takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 14:55

I was having dinner with my friend and her two year old DS. We both ordered salmon and the dish came with new potatoes and peas. The portions were quite large so there was a bit of fussing as Webb ‘donated’ some food to DS for his dinner.

OP posts:
Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:07

Yes curious

That is correct.

So as not to drip feed —bit late for that— I am a heifer, friend is not.

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 14/02/2018 15:08

You both put some of your food onto his plate, then when he'd had enough of it she put what he'd left onto your plate? You got a toddler's leftovers?

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:08

No

No DSs were starved.

She just dumped a load of food from her plate onto mine.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 15:09

Op sounds like you gave food to DS but later you post that you got given food from DS... I’m so confused

MissMary0fSweden · 14/02/2018 15:10

That's what you get for taking Webb along, inconsiderate arsehole he is.

I'm with you actually OP, I couldn't be doing with people putting stuff on my plate, it's weird.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 14/02/2018 15:10

Weird, but I wouldn't be offended by it unless she'd already put her fork in her mouth and I had an illness which meant that I couldn't share food.

LizardMonitor · 14/02/2018 15:11

Not the best manners, I wouldn't want someone else's food on my plate unless I asked for it, but it doesn't make 'shocking' rating as bad manners go.

Were you at IKEA? They always do salmon and potatoes and peas.

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:11

Yes. We both gave a small amount of food to DS. I then started eating. Then suddenly friend piled a load of food on my plate.

OP posts:
Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:11

Yes lizard Grin

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 14/02/2018 15:11

Yes your friend was really rude.

If it happens again, ask the waiter for a side plate and put the extra on it and let it be left there.

Some people have food issues, sounds like your friend does.

Aeroflotgirl · 14/02/2018 15:12

It is rude, but I would have been delighted at the extra food.

DeathStare · 14/02/2018 15:13

She just dumped a load of food from her plate onto mine

Sounds to me like she felt unnecessarily guilty for taking some of your food for her DS and was trying to make it square. I think that was rather kind and thoughtful of her to be honest.

If you didn't want the food you could just have stopped and said "No thank you".

This really isn't worth getting upset about. And not rude IMHO.

I can imagine the post on here that says:

"I went out for lunch with my friend and she didn't order her DS any food and he was starving. She gave him some of hers but it wasn't much so I felt I should give him some of mine. I then didn't get to have the full meal I had ordered and paid for. Meanwhile she didn't finish hers and didn't even offer me any. AIBU?"

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:13

Are you overweight Aero? I’m asking coz I am, and I felt like a pig being fattened for the market.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 14/02/2018 15:13

OP, " I am a heifer, friend is not" I bet you are not a heifer, please talk to yourself nicely.

Next time, leave your friend to feed her child, don't engage with the food sharing and don't let her put anything on your plate.

XX

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:15

She could’ve tried asking me death

I couldn’t say no thank you as half a salmon and several potatoes were plopping down.

I made an indignant sort of noise (had my mouth full.)

I am really shocked actually anybody thinks that’s okay - I wouldn’t dream of just putting my food on someone else’s plate, any more than it would occur to me to take food from their plate.

OP posts:
Tika77 · 14/02/2018 15:15

I'm with you OP. When we were kids my sister used to dump her unwanted food on my plate or take something she fancied off mine. Now I growl like a dog if anyone comes near my plate, practically.

On the other hand, she might be just one of those absent minded mums doing the same thing as she'd do at home, including eating spat out bits of food and so on. :-)

Italiangreyhound · 14/02/2018 15:15

I'm overweight. "Are you overweight Aero? I’m asking coz I am, and I felt like a pig being fattened for the market."

People who are not overweight will possibly not understand. But please, please do work on this yourself and don't allow yourself to feel like this with regard to others. If you really feel you need to lose weight the negative self talk will not help you.

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:15

Er Italian Hmm

I am a heifer. Trying to lose it but it would be easier without people piling food on me.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 14/02/2018 15:16

Shocked seems a bit of an over reaction really.

NotTheFordType · 14/02/2018 15:16

When I was overweight (and up to two years ago I was morbidly obese) I would have felt quite upset and would be thinking "she thinks I'm a fat cow and that I eat twice as much as her". Then I would have eaten the lot Blush

Nowadays I would assume that she is so used to dealing with her toddler that she automatically went into mum mode with you. (A bit like the time I was out with my work colleagues and automatically went to hold their hands to cross the road. Awkward.)

OldPony · 14/02/2018 15:19

You should have just put it back. I would have, and said, get off my plate!

Italiangreyhound · 14/02/2018 15:19

I'll PM you, but of course you can call yourself whatever you want to, I was just offering advice based on my experiences. Smile

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:20

I don’t need PMs thanks! I’m good Grin

OP posts:
Howdydoodyfolks · 14/02/2018 15:23

Did you eat the extra food or leave it to make a point?

paxillin · 14/02/2018 15:24

Best one of all the threads I didn't start GrinGrin. I'd have loved it, but I am greedy.

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