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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been quite shocked by my friend and think this was really bad manners

169 replies

takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 14:55

I was having dinner with my friend and her two year old DS. We both ordered salmon and the dish came with new potatoes and peas. The portions were quite large so there was a bit of fussing as Webb ‘donated’ some food to DS for his dinner.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 15:25

I don’t like used cutlery touching my food. I do t share drinks either.

VitriolicMuse · 14/02/2018 15:25

Sharing is caring!

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:28

Howdy one of my big problems is guzzling food when it is in front of me. It is no wonder I am a heifer and I know this is my responsibility and not skinny friends. But parting the salmon from its new mate was cruel. I couldn’t see a fish die in vain.

OP posts:
Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:29

So am I, paxillin , but I DON’T love resembling a blobfish.

OP posts:
Eatalot · 14/02/2018 15:31

Would it not be worse if she took half your food while saying youve had enough?

Commuterface · 14/02/2018 15:38

What has her DS got to do with it? Also I'd have been thrilled with an extra large portion but then I'm fat and shameless.

KurriKurri · 14/02/2018 15:38

I had a friend who used to dump large portions of her food onto my plate (like she'd suddenly lean over and scoot her chips off her plate onto mine) and wouldn't listen when I said no.
I started a thread about it and was told I was mad/precious/pearl clutching/ a snowflake/ a cheeky fucker/ a troll or whatever was the insult of the day on MN Grin

Anyway I'm with you OP - I don't like people putting food I haven't asked for on my plate, it's rude.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2018 15:39

She just dumped a load of food from her plate onto mine.

And you gave it back and told her not to do that, right?

Birdsgottafly · 14/02/2018 15:40

I think that she thought she was replacing what she had taken. Reading threads on here there are many who resent paying to feed other people's children and that makes Parents over aware, when out with others.

You're focused on your weight, your friends won't be, especially those out with toddlers. Also, you get used to not eating when you are trying to see to them.

IWillSurviveHeyHey · 14/02/2018 15:43

I just think it's disgusting that you have lunch in Ikea and eat the salmon instead of the meatballs. For that reason alone YABU!

mommybunny · 14/02/2018 15:45

"shocked" by someone giving you food. Gotta say that Shock me.

My DH does this all the time when we go out and they have communal bowls of vegetables. He puts his fork over his spoon and holds them like a waiter in a fancy white-cloth restaurant as he dishes them out. While I might sometimes say "no thanks I don't want any" it wouldn't occur to me to be shocked by his actions.

Having said that, I'd probably have asked you before putting food on your plate, but really I'd give the friend the benefit of the doubt on this one. She'd probably be completely bewildered by your resentment.

StandardRussian66 · 14/02/2018 15:47

I would love extra salmon. Grin
I would be happy with this.

Qvar · 14/02/2018 15:48

YANBU, it's weird, but she probably forgot you're a grown up.

I have only just stopped instructing people "It's HOT" when passing them a cup of tea. My friends were quite good at saying "Yes, I know, I just watched you boil the kettle!"

Re your weight - yes it's annoying when your friends treat you like a dustbin because it's obviously too late for you Angry. You just have to pointedly stick to the portion that's the right size your you.

MissWilmottsGhost · 14/02/2018 15:48

So she took some of your food, thought she had taken too much and so gave some back?

She should have asked first, but you still could have just left it. Surely it doesn't matter whose plate it is left on? Confused

KAT0779 · 14/02/2018 15:51

I think taking or putting food on someone else's plate (unless its your child's plate or a family member that you usually do this with anyway).

My mother in law did this to me once, she was on a diet and just started picking things up with her fork that had been in her mouth and putting them on my plate! I said "I've got enough thanks" and she said "well just leave what you don't want" I was thinking "well how about you leave what you don't want"???

Alicatz66 · 14/02/2018 15:52

What would Buddha do ? 😂... let it go !! She was probably just a bit flustered !!

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 15:52

Yes, but her DS had perhaps one potato and a small spoonful of peas.

In return I got half a salmon, two or three potatoes and a load of sauce.

OP posts:
TeasndToast · 14/02/2018 15:54

A friend that’s gives me extra food would be called ‘best friend’

She sounds like my kinda gal Grin

KAT0779 · 14/02/2018 15:57

Sorry meant to say that the above is weird and rude!

Daffyfuck · 14/02/2018 16:06

I would hate it if Someone dumped food on my plate. I think it's rude.

SweetMoon · 14/02/2018 16:06

YANBU. Its very rude to just dump it on your plate. She should have asked if you wanted it and if you say no, just left it on hers.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/02/2018 16:07

Sod the all, they're weird. In real life if someone dropped half an extra meal on their plate they'd be asking:

Do they think I am to skinny?
Do they think I am a greedy bitch?
Shit am I a bloater?
Who the fuck does she think she is?
What the fuck does she think I am?

If you had that sort of relationship, DSis and I do, you wouldn't be here asking!

She was unthinking at best, rude at worst.

Be a happy heifer Smile

TwitterQueen1 · 14/02/2018 16:19

I think the biggest issue here is whether or not DS got fed? Did he like the salmon? Did he eat his peas? I think you're old enough to manage your own eating OP..... Hmm

Original poster
takeapicturepictureframe · 14/02/2018 16:20

Yes, but my AIBU wasn’t about the ds. It was about me, mememememe!

OP posts:
AyeAyeFishyPie · 14/02/2018 16:23

I think it is rude. I was having a drink with some friends, ome woman and i ordered a pint of cider each, she got about a third of the way through it and announced to the group ‘i’m too skinny to manage a whole pint - you have it’ and just plonked it in front of me. I very quickly returned it to her. Rude cow.