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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

how many transgender people do you know

504 replies

ambereeree · 14/02/2018 14:50

Just that really. I've only met one at work a man who had the change to a woman.
From the number of threads recently it would appear that people are bumping into trans people everywhere they turn.

OP posts:
PsychoPumpkin · 15/02/2018 10:39

None personally. One of the people who helps run the blood donation drive closest to me presents as female.

HashtagTired · 15/02/2018 10:40

None that I know of.

romany4 · 15/02/2018 10:45

Several.

My child is transgender and has many transgender friends.

BeyondTerfyCassandra · 15/02/2018 10:47

Quite a few.

A close friend of mine has a relative who transitioned one way, who is dating someone who transitioned the other way

I went to school with two GNC lesbians, both had similar upbringings and mh, both were perfectly happy as teenagers to be so. Ten years later one is now a TIF while the other remains a GNC lesbian. I often wonder what it was that made the difference, as nothing sticks out.

I know a few TIM of the "old school transsexual variety".

But then everyone I know falls under Stonewalls "transgender umbrella", if anyone actually takes that seriously.

Fairenuff · 15/02/2018 10:52

If we have to keep the GRA it should be amended to GSRA (Gender Stereotype Recognition Act) as it has nothing to do with biological sex.

Or it should be amended to Biological Genital Reassignment Act maybe?

mum11970 · 15/02/2018 10:55

None

Curious2468 · 15/02/2018 11:02

One of my uni professors had a sex change from m to f. I have a friend who is gender queer and a friend with a son who was born female. I think the biggest difference is people talk about it now and people are less likely to suppress or hide it rather than an increase in actual incidence

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 15/02/2018 11:12

drspouse of the examples you give, DS1 is anxious and depressed, both caused by his lifelong illness, he appears to be asexual, but that may be a conscious decision, as his illnesses would be a lot for anyone to take on, no idea about the body dysmorphia, he's a closed book. I've only got back in touch with him in the last 2 years, he was living with DM, and the police advised me to go NC (another thread).

BeyondTerfyCassandra · 15/02/2018 11:22

PositivelyPERF - my reading between the lines of mothers posts is that she is the mother of a survivor who knows no trans people... hence her child did trans but has "survived".

Eltonjohnssyrup · 15/02/2018 11:29

I used to work at a big organisation where there was one TIM. No idea which toilets were used, never any issues. The only thing that was odd was that they dressed like a 17 year old girl at a music festival when they were in their 60s and working in a professional job. If a woman had turned up there wearing denim short shorts and spaghetti straps they would have been sent home, but it was tolerated in this case.

There is a teenage TIM who lives in my area and dresses like a librarian. Have seen them in the ladies and it doesn't seem to cause issues as they are very timid and appear to be scared of the world most of the time. There's also a child at my kids school whose grandparent seems to be gender fluid.

The only time I'be had a problem is that there is a group of people who drink/take spice in a local outdoor shopping centre near me. The sort of people you would cross the road to avoid, often aggressive. In the past year a few of them have started wearing female wigs, nothing else female except possibly a bit of make up, and hanging around the ladies toilets. I don't know what their game is, but it feels threatening and I can't use those toilets anymore and nor will my children. I've noticed quite a few women resorting to using the disabled loo which is a single locking room instead.

MrsKateR · 15/02/2018 11:31

I've met quite a few but I'm gay so tend to mix in more varied and diverse circles of people. I don't think it's "a thing" more nowadays - its just that people now have options & knowledge. When I first came out 27 years ago most people around me would say i was the only lesbian they knew which is utterly bizarre because there has always been plenty of us, we've were just hidden away because of homophobia. It really is that simple.

pastachucker · 15/02/2018 11:37

One female to male.
I had known him years before I found out he used to be a woman.

Fairenuff · 15/02/2018 11:44

If that's the case MrsK then the trans debate is more important than most people realise or accept. If more and more people are prepared to be open about their gender stereotype preference then proper debate and consultation needs to happen quite urgently imo.

Oh, I've remembered another one. Not been in touch for years but I used to know a MtF who was just a cross dresser at the time. I would sometimes babysit the children who, at 8 and 10, were mortified.

Trinity36 · 15/02/2018 11:55

One, M to F, she isn’t a friend but someone I would talk to regularly as we came into contact through her job. I have met at least three others who transitioned MtoF but I don’t know them well enough to say any more than hi to.

MrsKateR · 15/02/2018 12:04

I agree fairenuff - we should be be having a debate although I'm cautious about the masses deciding policy/laws for the minorities. The fact that Ireland voted on same sex marriage horrifies me. It is not for the those completely unaffected to decide on my human rights in a vote. I'm interested in your comment on the kids that were mortified. My wife and I have an 8 year old daughter - she is very at ease with diversity because its always been there in our family life. I don't mean diversity like us being trendy/hippy/liberal parents, we are pretty run of the mill albeit quite politicised because of being gay. People's reaction to us, however, is not run of the mill. They still go to pieces in this day & age. Kids would be less mortified if many adults didnt behave like complete goons about anything different.

Flockoftreegulls · 15/02/2018 12:33

My brother in law is m to f.
Dresses how a man imagines a woman would dress. Tight trousers and tiny mini skirts even though is 52

DodoPatrol · 15/02/2018 12:38

Someone should tell him that you don't need trousers with a mini-skirt.

Actually, on second thoughts...

Fairenuff · 15/02/2018 13:02

MrsK I think it the mortification came from their own parent who would dress and behave like a male one minute then suddenly change into a skirt, put on bright red lipstick and ask them to call him mother. He didn't even bother to shave so was quite a sight.

I agree that the consultation regarding policy/law should be with those affected. I think the 'masses' have the right to discuss and agree the things that will affect them and the minorities to decide on the things that affect them.

The whole self ID is a big mess at the moment as there is so much to discuss and no one is willing to address all the concerns.

EfficiencyDeficiency · 15/02/2018 13:02

None here either

bullyingadvice2017 · 15/02/2018 13:26

Is angelina and brads kid going to be a boy? Always dressed as a boy

ChelleDawg2020 · 15/02/2018 13:29

None that I know of for sure, it's not exactly the thing you ask someone though if they don't volunteer the information.

Jolonglegs · 15/02/2018 13:55

There is a couple in the village where the then husband transitioned to female some years ago. They are still living together as two women, and are apparently very happy with the situation.
I'm not sure how I would feel if DP decided to transition. I love him deeply, but the circumstances would then be different. Or would they?

PsychoPumpkin · 15/02/2018 14:41

Jojo

I think i’d Be okay with my husband deciding he wanted to present as a woman, after all, he’d still be the person he is inside. I think I’d struggle having to call him ‘her’ and fully accepting him, in my heart, as a woman.

If he decided to go all ‘trans rights activist’ on me, I’d be out like a shot though, and the first time he called me a CIS woman, would be the last time I ever spoke to him!

picklemepopcorn · 15/02/2018 14:46

I have to say, I struggle with DH at times as a man. If he became a woman, well frankly, no!

LittleLostLion · 15/02/2018 14:59

11 I think.

Used to work in sexual health outreach