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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

how many transgender people do you know

504 replies

ambereeree · 14/02/2018 14:50

Just that really. I've only met one at work a man who had the change to a woman.
From the number of threads recently it would appear that people are bumping into trans people everywhere they turn.

OP posts:
petbear · 14/02/2018 23:20

@IfNot

Rather than reassure a tiny child that she is perfect just as she is, grown adults decide to collude in her ultimate mental and physical disfigurement. What a world.

I know. It's actually pretty dreadful, and upsetting, and very worrying that it's allowed to happen.

Restawhile · 14/02/2018 23:21

My DC at 4 really wanted a furry tail. We used to tuck in a tie or use something from the dressing up box. It was a phase.

Loveache · 14/02/2018 23:22

WHen I was tiny, my mum and dad told me I was a princess. I believed them. When can I transition?

Sirrah · 14/02/2018 23:25

One F to M, he seems much happier since he finally worked out that he was male after a period of non-gender.

laudanum · 14/02/2018 23:28

.....aaand there goes the thread. Terfs derailing everything as usual.

BertrandRussell · 14/02/2018 23:33

“Terfs derailing everything as usual“

Oh, don’t talk bollocks. Engage. Discuss. Think. Consider. Listen. All that good stuff.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 14/02/2018 23:35

Where is the derailing?

Who are The TERFS

Restawhile · 14/02/2018 23:36

My pp was in response to the thread moving on and can a 4 yo really know that they want to be the opposite gender.

I know one m2f one f2m

RitasEducation · 14/02/2018 23:40

2 both MTF. Very different people.

One was a co worker who eventually got let go, they said the position was no longer needed. He lived as a cross dresser for years before. His wife was OK with the cross dressing, he had both ears pierced but was very manly before the change. They broke up after change. He was 58, It really was much happier finally satisfied.

The 2nd an old friend, She still looks very much a guy hasn't changed style still jeans and jumpers, with big breasts and some facial surgery. He was always very extreme attention seeking, manic behaviour.

I truly believe number 2 went through it for attention. He hurt people who fully supported him. He would smash his mums window to pretend it was haters. He was seen on cctv. It was never enough.

RitasEducation · 14/02/2018 23:41

I meant he was much happier, Not it.

IfNot · 14/02/2018 23:45

Fuck off with your "Terf" and fuck off with your "cis". We are mainly mothers on this site, who balk at children being encouraged to believe in unicorns and fed hormones, and at men built like miners telling us they have more right to women's spaces than we do.
You know what was nice today? I was in the local shop-mainly filled with older women and their grandkids. A lady came in with flyers that she was handing out go everyone. I thought "uh-oh" Jehovahs Witnesses.." But no. It was a flyer saying that the lottery money our estate has been given will go to fund courses at the community centre.
The flyer said " in celebration of 2018 the year of the woman, courses will be free for women. "
Just that. No "cis" or "identify" . Because everyone actually knows who wasn't allowed to vote pre 1918.

cushioncovers · 14/02/2018 23:55

None

Onlyoldontheoutside · 14/02/2018 23:57

I have known a few mtfs in my life.All just quietly getting on with life.One I helped with shopping as she was aware her look was a bit too much but frightened to tone it down incase she looked male
However my DD is a teen in a small school so not lots of politics and pressure.The children are quite free about their sexual preferences(bit sad that they feel the need to label themselves so soon but seems quite common ATM).
There are several nongender conforming teens but it seems to be quite low key,might be because bullying is cracked down onquickly,and because they are allowed to get on with it as so few parents here are aware it's an issue that no fuss is made.
Maybe in a city school when my DD went through a pretty prolonged period of never wanting boobs there may have been people that could have persuaded her that she was trans.It took a long time talking and discussing these issues that we realised that it was my older,overweight, breastfeeding boobs that she was thinking of.When she realised they would be more like her slightly older cousins she relaxed and joined a long line of women who ditch their bras as soon as they get home.
She still has anxiety issues but gender isn't one of them

Thanks to the threads on MN I had the confidence to discuss these issues with her rather than decide that since she would never do dressing up as a princess,loved Lego and hated her developing body that she was a boy.
We are not able to relax with what she iswhile she figures out who she is.
How many mums on here are seeing these things in their kids schools if not in their own lives.Were in a small rural area so those of you with children in large schools must be seeing this.

MotherofaSurvivor · 14/02/2018 23:58

None. I have a child!

Onlyoldontheoutside · 14/02/2018 23:58

Should say now able.

Fairenuff · 15/02/2018 00:03

Terfs derailing everything as usual

Derailing what? This is such a non-thread. There is nothing to discuss. OP has decided not to engage with posters.

DreamyMcDreamy · 15/02/2018 00:07

It's not different. Rather than reassure a tiny child that she is perfect just as she is, grown adults decide to collude in her ultimate mental and physical disfigurement. What a world.

Thing is though,if you try airing common bloody sense anywhere but here, you'd quickly be called a transphobe, and a bigot and have people sending you threats.
I find that pretty bloody scary, don't know about anyone else.

SimonBridges · 15/02/2018 00:09

None. I have a child!

What does having a child have to do with anything? People with children can know trans people you know, some even are trans people.

Anyway, my mentioning of the black girl who harmed herself with bleach was not different to the ‘transitioning’ of a 4 year old.
It’s exactly the same. Both children were unhappy with a fundamental part of themselves. Both children wanted to remove that part. Both children tried to harm themselves.
One child was told that it’s fine and she can change.
One child was helped to feel happy as herself.
Can you imagine the rightful shitstorm had the black girl been given skin lightening tablets and told that she can be white if that’s how she feels inside.

DreamyMcDreamy · 15/02/2018 00:09

WHen I was tiny, my mum and dad told me I was a princess. I believed them. When can I transition?
Self id as one - if you put a tiara or a crown on your head, you're automatically one.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 15/02/2018 00:51

A few

One child who is 10 apparently feels they should be a girl

One non binary person at work why this has to be announced i don’t know they haven’t changed their name or how they dress just were informed we mustn’t refer to them as a he anymore

ambereeree · 15/02/2018 04:12

I started this thread because I'm genuinely curious about how many trans people we all know. Yes some know lots but others like myself know one/ two or none and those who know many. I guess maybe this is also down to where you live and work.

I didn't start the thread because i have a statement to make about trans issues, i don't know enough to contribute intelligently to any sort of debate.

OP posts:
Kursk · 15/02/2018 04:20

Don’t know any, and have never heard of any.

LolitaLempicka · 15/02/2018 04:28

Absolutely loads. I work in HE.

ljlkk · 15/02/2018 05:11

One I've met a few times. Teen DD had a buddy who is F2M (living as a girl but close friends know they have male ID). DD now finds this person tedious. Attention-seeking stuff (I know, they're teens, there's a lot of attn-seeking). I get a sense that some of the public announcement about X-gender ID was itself simple attn-seeking, and when that died down, they moved to other types of less successful attn-seeking.

Xulishesthepilot · 15/02/2018 07:33

It was an interesting thread ambereeree, thanks.

But for anyone who's never witnessed the transcritical thread police in action, now's your chance!

It starts with a small group leaching over from the fem boards variously sensationalising or antagonising. Then backup arrives and they put on a merry little show with each other full of "it's basic biology" and "what IS a woman", complete with "oohs" and "aahs" and "oh my god, you're so right"s from their own crowd.

Turning into a platform for radicalisation these days, I'm telling you.

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