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Original poster

Can someone be too fertile?

418 replies

ByTheBlueBay · 14/02/2018 12:13

I was on the pill for 6 years before I came off it. We conceived DD when we didn't use a condom once. Literally, once. I know once is all it takes but it was a shock.

Anyway since having DD we always used a condom. However it wasn't used straight away, there'd be a few pumps first (TMI). We'd only have sex once a month or so but I still managed to fall pregnant on DH's precum.

Am I super fertile? I had a termination and we haven't had sex since. I'm too scared. I'm considering the implant but I'm not sure how the hormones will affect me with depression and anxiety.

OP posts:
kirinm · 16/02/2018 10:14

Jesus Cats. Don't fucking underestimate the seriousness of depression and anxiety. You're coming across as seriously pathetic and angry. Grow up.

TheCatsPaws · 16/02/2018 10:16

Don't fucking underestimate the seriousness of depression and anxiety.

Lol. I’ve made suicide attempts before, and recently had the crisis team involved because of what they think is severe PTSD. I know full well the impact of it, thanks.

Doesn’t mean I can’t point out someone’s irresponsiblilty.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 10:17

You complain about someone's perceived insensitivity yet you behave like this?

TheCatsPaws · 16/02/2018 10:18

Kirin where have I been abusive? Saying her posts are cunty?

I have little sympathy with her because of the terminology she chose. I’m not the only one who said it’s offensive. I’ve said several times had she asked in a different way I wouldn’tve said anything.

HarveyKietelRabbit · 16/02/2018 10:20

You've had threads here and got a lot of support then? That's good isn't it? Do the same for others or don't say anything at all.

Don't repeatedly come back to further stick the boot in to someone because you're angry that life is giving you a hard time.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 10:21

And you haven't just mentioned that the OP in your eyes has acted irresponsibly. You've called her behaviour cunty, you've called her insensitive, you've commented on the reasonableness of her choosing to terminate a pregnancy she didn't feel able to go through with, you've consistently been abusive, you've told her when is right and when is wrong to have a termination, you've judged her, you've projected your circumstances on to her, you've undermined her mental health problems and even worse, you've done that despite struggling with similar issues. You've been thoroughly unpleasant and your conduct and posts are incredibly more insensitive than the OPs.

TheCatsPaws · 16/02/2018 10:22

I’ve also had people disagree with me and say things I considered insensitive on my threads. People disagree.

I’m not “sticking the boot in” I’m pointing out why OPs comments are offensive as some keep saying they can’t understand why we are upset.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 10:23

The OPs post wasn't about you and you don't get to censure people because you've had a hard time. Check out the body and soul boards as you'll know there are lots of women there going through similar things.

TheCatsPaws · 16/02/2018 10:31

Kirin literally the only thing I’ve said that could be considered abusive is “cunty”.

Again, her choice to terminate is her choice. But don’t say you “had” to when there are people who have to. OP had a choice.

I’m not undermining her mental health problems. I’m saying she was silly in the first place.

Itsbecauseimaleo · 16/02/2018 11:31

I think you should leave this thread cats. You have been ridiculously abusive and it's unfair. You're projecting and it's unnecessary. You say you suffer with mental health and you spout all this hateful langeful at the OP. If you want to rage about the unfairness of infertility perhaps you'd find more support on the infertility boards. At the end of the day the OP asked a legitimate question. She doesn't know about hyper fertility so her wording wasn't insensitive in the slightest. It's insensitive to you because of your issues. It might sound harsh but your issues are your own not the OP's so I don't see why you're so desperate for her to be mindful of your situation. I agree with a pp that said your age is showing. You've been very immature and if anyone needs to grow up it's you. When you saw the thread wasn't about what you thought it was you should have just clicked off

Dobbythesockelf · 16/02/2018 11:41

Cats you are going through a hard time I get that but you can't shout other people down just because you don't believe they have had it as bad as you. Has the OP made uninformed choices? Yes but she shouldn't be called insensitive, cunty etc. She isn't asking on the infertility/conception boards, if things like this make you angry or upset then hide them. If you are allowed to ask for advice then so is she whether you agree or disagree with the situation she is in.

TheCatsPaws · 16/02/2018 11:48

You've been very immature

I’m not the one who wonders how it’s possible to get pregnant from unprotected sex. And then follows up my irresponsibility by bragging about a termination on boards where women are struggling.

Yes it wasn’t on the conception boards, but it was ignorant. Accidentally maybe, but ignorant nonetheless.

I’ve given her advice. I told her go go to a medical professional as she said she’s still bleeding (shouldn’t be happening now), and to get some contraception.

But don’t expect a sympathetic ear from me, or other women, when she writes a thread like this.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 11:56

The OP literally asked 'am I super fertile' and you've spun it into some madly insensitive offensive post. Re-read the first post. You've massively overreacted.

I'm finding you deeply offensive.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 11:57

'Bragging'? You're being fucking ridiculous.

TheCatsPaws · 16/02/2018 11:58

I did reread it, and my opinion is perhaps she isn’t bragging but she does sound very, very ignorant.

Itsbecauseimaleo · 16/02/2018 12:01

My god there is actually no talking to you. You can't expect her not to talk about fertility just because a small portion of users on here are struggling. Do you hear how entitled you sound?! If you're unlikely to lend a sympathetic ear then just leave.

MaisyPops · 16/02/2018 12:01

I’ve said several times had she asked in a different way I wouldn’tve said anything.
You and me both.

I've said multiple times that a whole range of other phrasing wouldn't have hit a nerve or been annoying. Asking a question, perfectly reasonable. Being surprised that unprotected sex leads to pregnancy and then putting it down to super fertility, not cool.

But hey it's fine. Woman chooses to have unprotected sex and is surprised by a pregnancy and that's no big deal. Man acts surprised at an unplanned pregnancy and the MN consensus is that he shouldn't have had sex without a condom or a vasectomy unless he was asbolutely sure the woman was taking her pill/had the coil etc.
It's why I've stepped away from this thread. There's only so many times you can say 'i get x y z but unprotected sex leading to pregnancy is not a surprising outcome' before you lose the will to live

Dobbythesockelf · 16/02/2018 12:01

And the way to tackle ignorance is to call them names and say how stupid they are?
It you could you know educate them without the vitrol.
If this kind of thread upsets you then hide it. The OP wasn't being malicious, you are projecting and although that is understandable it isn't fair.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 12:02

And you sound very very aggressive and angry and your response is totally disproportionate to what has said.

Your outright lie that the OP 'bragged' about a termination is evidence of how ridiculous your reaction is.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 12:05

It's not even 'understandable'. There are at least two people on this thread who have been through the same thing as you, in fact I know we've been through 'more' who aren't behaving like you. I had a loss at 11 weeks but also know people who've terminated at 11w. I don't go around fucking yelling and judging them. Seriously you need to get a grip.

Itsbecauseimaleo · 16/02/2018 12:06

Why should she have to alter her wording to suit you Maisie? She doesn't know you from Adam. What makes you and cats so important? Are we all supposed to bend to the whims of those struggling ttc? Her wording wasn't offensive at all. It was a fair question since you can only get pregnant during a small window. Maybe she thought it was one of her safe days? I don't know, but what I do know is that you have no right to shout her down and call her offensive and insensitive just because you're having a hard time.

TheCatsPaws · 16/02/2018 12:10

Maisy I’m glad you understand what I’m getting at. I think several people are trying to paint us in a way we are not, and it’s quite unfair.

kirinm · 16/02/2018 12:11

Cats - you're painting yourself in such a light that it's very clear. You don't need any help from anyone else.

MaisyPops · 16/02/2018 12:12

I'm not saying I'm important.
I'm just saying that there is a difference between 'Can you get pregnant without him ejaculating?' / 'We've been a bit careless and this has happened' and 'wr had unprotrcted sex and had a surprise pregnancy and it's probably because i might be super fertile'.

Put it this way, if DH and had sex once in the next 3 months and got pregnant it wouldn't be because I am super fertile. It would mean that we had unprotected sex, it happened to coincide with ovulation and he probably had reasonable swimmers. It would be luck of the draw, not super fertility.

Dobbythesockelf · 16/02/2018 12:13

But other people in the same position as you have stated they don't find it offensive. You can not stop people discussing things just because they upset you. You could hide the tread instead of going on at the OP. I say again if you are allowed to ask for advice why is she not allowed in case she upsets a small number of people. The world doesn't work like that. Step away and please look after yourself rather than get angry at the world around you.

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