To be absolutely devastated/disgusted by this?

[fulltimeworkingmotherof4]

My little sister died 8 months ago. She was 33. I’ve posted before about her DH moving on quickly, but I’ve just found out he’s having a baby with his new gf, they’ve been together 6 months and she’s 2 months pregnant. It was announced on social media and of course me and my family were blocked from seeing it but word soon gets around.
I’m still massively struggling with loosing her, even tho she suffered from a long term illness. I never expected him to be on his own forever but I feel this takes the piss. AIBU to not be impressed?
He’s totally cut our family out of his life including my DN (my sisters son) he’s not his bio dad but was a big part of his life. He’s 10 and has all our love, lives with his bio dad but how can you just do that? When she died he said he’d still see him etc but literally nothing. He was on dating sites 2 weeks after her funeral. I’m just so angry 😡

But you are clearly not happy and expect him to live the rest of his life the way you think he should. Leave him alone, if he gets a bit of happiness you should be happy for him.

I'm not commenting anymore. It's pointless and too long to explain the actual situation to strangers who couldn't possibly understand my feelings.

My mother remarried within a year of my father dying, why do you assume people can't understand your feelings just because they think your father isn't obliged to live his life how you decide?

kittensinmydinner1 well said.

What I find strange in comparison, is that nobody even questions why so many grieving parents TTC very quickly after a loss or stillbirth. I am one of them.

Or rather, people sensitively questioned whether it was 'too soon' psychologically and emotionally for me, but nobody questions your motive for wanting to do so.
Because you can question whether the action is advisable, but not the motive behind the action itself.
TTC after a loss is never trying to replace, but in your grief you are just trying to find hope and purpose, to come back to seeing a future that you want to have a part in again.

This man loved and cared for his DW throughout her long illness, and by all accounts made her comforted, she was secure in his love until she passed away. He honoured his marriage until the death of his DW, and said that he'd reached the acceptance stage long ago. But now people are judging him, because his actions aren't "the appropriate way to grieve" by their standards?

I wish people would realise there's a difference between "moving on" and "carrying on".
DS was born less than a year after our loss. I needed a reason to carry on. It didn't mean I'd moved on, or that my pain was less valid than someone who waited longer.

NotASingleFuckToGive you make some very valid points.

I am sorry for your loss. And congratulations on the birth of your son.

I totally understand. It's not about replacing, we still grieve, but in grief we still have a life to lead. We can still find joy, even though we grieve. Humans are complex, we are capable of feeling different emotions at the same time.

Although a poor comparison- my DD is about to go to University in a different city. I am beyond excited, proud and feeling really positive, but I also feel a little sad because I will miss her and have thoughts of her as a toddler falling asleep in my lap. I am also a little jealous of her zeal and sad about me no longer being youthful.

And all that is human, and real.

And I have been widowed.

speakout I think it is a good comparison - life is complex.

grannytomine thankyou.

NotASingle - really good point. I'm sorry for your loss

very hurtful sorry