I wouldn't teach my kids to put their needs before the needs of perfectly nice other people, and so I don't see why I should view my rights as a woman as sacred and untouchable when pitched against rights of a trans woman - I genuinely believe we should have the same rights
Well, what you are teaching them is to put their rights second. Because they will not be the same rights. A vulnerable woman sent to prison, who most likely has been abused by men at some point in her life, will not have any choice as to whether a rapist with male genitalia is housed on her wing. So her rights are definitely subordinate to the rapist's. Equality for me would be to build a new wing to house the trans prisoners. Why do they have to share spaces with vulnerable people?
What would you say if I told you that I identify as black (I am white)? Not just that, but being black is no longer anything to do with skin colour- it's about an internal feeling. If you start talking about things that disproportionately affect black people like stop and search or certain inherited diseases, I will tell you to STFU because you are making me feel less of a black person because I don't have those experiences. I will insist on being part of committees of black organisations. If there is an ethnic minority shortlist, I will insist that I am on it, as well as other white people who feel black. If black people complain and say I have no clue what I am on about because I was born with white privilege and my experiences are different, I will cry and say that is literal violence. I will target a long-standing black activist, saying that s/he is bigoted and will make fun of him/her for not presenting as 'stereotypically black' because my tightly permed hair and dark makeup make me more black than him/her. Eventually I will take that person's job as equalities officer. From that day forward, I will do nothing but promote the interests of other 'trans-blacks' like me, with a perm and fake tan. If any genuine black people complain, I will verbally abuse them.
Would that on any level whatsoever be okay or acceptable? If no, why is it acceptable when it is done to women?