Do you take your 12/13 year olds phone away at night?

[honeylulu]

Just that ... parents of 12-13 year olds Do you take your child's phone off then at night?
We take ours off him at 9pm (more like 10 or 10.30pm as we often only remember when we are going to bed). He says no one else's mum and dad do this.
Are we too strict? Or is it usual to allow overnight phone in room at this age?

DSS13 has to put his phone downstairs at 8.30 on school nights. He has this weird thing about leaving it charging overnight ie won't do it so he has to manage keeping it charged enough to go to school with. I can't imagine not keeping up this regime when he is older though, just pushing back the time. Judging by the messages he gets some of his friends are on their phones all night.

You could buy a cheap clock, user.

DS15 and DS13 both leave phones downstairs charging overnight, as does DD9 with her Kindle.

Good to see so many people do the same. I get the "no-one else has to do it" line too...

Yep, it charges in my bedroom at 9pm.

I didn't, but I wish I had.

Our dd (now 18) recently admitted to us that she used to stay awake until 3am on her phone/iPad from the time she was 13 or 14. It got her into really unhealthy sleeping habits as well as a pretty serious screen addiction. Her ability to focus declined to the point where we thought she had ADHD.

Yes. DD1 (13) has to leave her phone downstairs to charge. Devices go off about 7.30-8pm weekdays, and a bit later at weekend. Her phone is still pinging at 11pm, so some kids must have them. We also have a family rule of ‘no secret passwords’ - we can all get into each othets phones, laptops, iPads (but the iTunes account passsword is secret - the kids can’t buy an app without me of DH authorising it).
Same ‘no phones at noght’ rule for sleepovers in my house. And when a kid says “but what if I have to call my mum in the middle of the night”, I tell them “you’re in my house. If something happens that means you need to call you mum at 2am, I need to know about it”. They all accept it so far.

As from now we will! Last night caught DS on phone at 10pm! He’d been in bed since 9pm and said “I haven’t been on it the whole time.” He never gets up in the morning and I think the phone is the reason why. It’s going

Yes and my 14 teen year olds'. Laptops too. Phones down at 6.30. Laptops after homework has been done. I leave mine downstairs too.

I am the strictest mum in the world though,it's pretty much child abuse and nobody else anywhere does this( according to my dc).

Liking the sound of Ourpact,off toGoogle.

We let him have it on trust but he's just changed bedrooms and i could heard it bloody pinging away!!!

To be fair to him that doesn't mean he's on it. When we get up in the morning my 14yo twin DD's have a ridiculous amount of notifications from other kids who are allowed theirs.

That's one of the reasons mine leave theirs downstairs on school nights. DS1 and his best friend got phones for starting high school and he was texting/messaging DS until stupid o'clock. We don't have rigid strict rules, but the teens all generally leave their phones downstairs charging, and interestingly (to me) all play the "Mum says it has to stay down stairs..." card to their friends even though we wouldn't get involved unless it became a problem.

I do enforce it for sleepovers though, I know what restrictions my kids have on their phones and what they can and can't access. Too many other people don't have any restrictions on their kids' phones.

Yes. YANBU you are being responsible.

Don't fall for that nobody else's parents do this bollocks ...that tactic is as old as time itself

My DS12 has his PS4 in his room, and he has to bring me the controllers too, for his own good, otherwise he'd sneak back on it.

TBF, I'd have done the same at his age ... ah my old green monitored Amstrad 64....cutting edge!

Wow naive on here "breaking your trust" I would say EVERY a child who has their phone upstairs with them will be on it at some point at night. You are storing up some massive problems and really don't you think you try parenting your kids they are not your friends. 🙄

I take all devices from the nearly 11 year old at 7.30-8. She would spend all night on YouTube if I let her and at one point it got so bad that we never saw her-she was always in her room. (That said I used to be the same but with actual books so....)The 12 year old is a better self regulator but her phone still comes in my room from 9.30 overnight.

Phoned downstairs at night here too. Although recently caught DD creeping downstairs to retrieve hers after we had gone to bed. I was furious. Apparently she needed it as an alarm I bought her an alarm clock so there goes that excuse. It is bloody exhausting trying to keep on top of this stuff.

I am, apparently, the most unreasonable person in the whole wide world - no one has a TV in their bedroom & all technology is kept downstairs overnight. And I never allow technology at the meal table.

I know I sleep better when I've not been using a screen within an hour or so of going to bed and I want my children to be well rounded people who are not reliant on technology.

Yep. For all of mine. Oldest of mine is mid teens. 🙄 And not down stairs anymore. They slipped downstairs and nicked them back so they are all hidden away now.

All phones including mine and dh's are left downstairs at night. Kids have to put phones away half an hour before bed.

Ds 12 has never had his phone in his room and that'll continue as long as poss. Ds 18 sleeps with his glued to his face.

Everyone who leaves theirs downstairs at night... how do you get up in the morning? I use mine as an alarm

Is this a serious question? Never heard of an alarm clock?

Littlebillie - you're completely wrong there and can't talk for everyone's DCs. As much as I allow my DCs the opportunity to learn to self regulate I also am hot on checking activity on their phones as they are only young. We don't go to bed till at least midnight and the kids are definitely fast asleep at that point. You know your own kids and what boundaries they push, mine push plenty of them but just not with this.

My boys are 14 and 12. No phones upstairs at night unless on special occasions - sleepovers etc. They accept this and don't seem to mind - although I can see from checking their social media that a lot of their friends are active on their phones late at night.

Zamy it's much harder to monitor in their bedrooms st night and really you are hot on checking it daily, I think if you allow them in their rooms at night you are trying to be their BFF not their parent. What possible benefit could they have from having them except one less battle for you

Lazy parenting

I didn't unless there were transgressions eg not getting up. In other words, often. In hindsight I should have done it routinely- it would have saved me a great deal of stress.

DD (nearly 14) uses hers as an alarm for the morning so I don't take it off her. I hate how much she uses it though

Curly just buy her an alarm clock. She has no excuse then.