Do you take your 12/13 year olds phone away at night?

[honeylulu]

Just that ... parents of 12-13 year olds Do you take your child's phone off then at night?
We take ours off him at 9pm (more like 10 or 10.30pm as we often only remember when we are going to bed). He says no one else's mum and dad do this.
Are we too strict? Or is it usual to allow overnight phone in room at this age?

Yes phone downstairs to charge at 9pm.

user1486076969. I use mine as my clock and alarm clock so would be very hypocritical is I removed DS phone during holidays.

How is this hypocritical.
You’re the parent aren’t you?! Surely different rules for children and parents?!

Yes no way would i leave it in her room all night. Its down here charging in tge evening. The times her phone goes off with friends messaging/snapchat etc at 11/12 even 1am is unreal.

A is 12 so while she has Instagram etc she has so with the full understanding that i check her phone regularly.

Yes, Y8 DD has to bring it downstairs to charge at 8pm. Gets it back when she's totally ready for school the next morning. Also assures me that no-one else's parents ever do this!
My phone stays downstairs overnight too, unless she is at a sleepover and might need to call in the night.

Thanks everyone. We let him have it on trust but he's just changed bedrooms and i could heard it bloody pinging away!!!
I strongly suspected must parents do not allow overnight phone access.

We turn off Wifi. She has no data.

I don't. DS is 11, I trust him enough. When we go up to check he is usually asleep at 1030 which is fine for him. Once or twice ever I have gone up at 1030 and he's fast asleep half sat up with his earphones in still but I am not too worried, he gets enough sleep, works hard/achieves well at school and rarely seems tired. If he is tired he just goes to sleep earlier, no dramas.

If he was to abuse our trust then we would start taking it off him definitely. Personally I think it is good parenting to set boundaries and expect senior school age children to stick to them not ensure they can't NOT adhere to them, same with bedtimes/coming off consoles when told etc. If they do not do this then it is fine to punish them of course. If you don't do this they don't suddenly get to an age where they are totally trust worthy, they need to learn self regulation and discipline IMO.

I can’t believe people are taking phones off their 17yo

It definitely does depend on the child though, I know some children who would be on it all night if they had it in their rooms. DS is pretty sensible. DS2 is only 9 and doesn't have a phone but will listen to audio books on his ipod touch, he's really good at sticking to a set time but we have to specifically say what time to him still (he is autistic and I am not sure he would self regulate in the same way as it would stress him out having that level of decision making)

Marmalade - there was a thread on here recently where people still told their adult children to go to bed at a specific time so nothing surprises me anymore TBH.

No phones upstairs after dinner. DS1 is a stickler for the rules so does it automatically. DS2 tries it on virtually every night.

I'm a little more easy going during the holidays.

DD (11) goes to bed at 8.45 and no devices upstairs
DS (14) allowed devices until 9.30 then we take them away

Less restrictions at weekends and holidays

Unreal Zany

All devices stay downstairs overnight in our house and are put away 30mins before bedtime.

Year 11 ds - phone and MacBook downstairs at 10.30. Ps4 is on a t.v. downstairs too. I amazed when I see o his home screen that messaging is going in until after 1 am.

Yep no phones after 21:00.

Yes DS12 has to hand it over at 8pm

My 10 year old hands in all tech when he goes to bed at 8pm for the night. Phone, iPad, Xbox controllers and TV remote. He used to protest but now just accepts that’s life in this house! He is Autistic and is a bad sleeper at the best of times and the once or twice he’s not handed in he has been up at 2/3am playing. When he pays the bills he can make the rules! I too get the “all my friends have theirs” and I just say “I’m not interested in all your friends, I’m YOUR mum”

Yes, of course.

DS (14) leaves his downstairs charging, DS (13) keeps his in his room as it charges while plugged into his clock, it’s always switched to do not disturb so he doesn’t get woken by it and he’s remarkably good at switching off devices when told.

Our DD -13 would play with her's all night if she got a chance so it's 'hidden' down stairs at night - she has been known to creep down and take it upstairs!

Both dc have to leave their devices downstairs at 915pm

I once had my dd's in my handbag through the night as I forgot she had given it to me earlier to look after.

It was ridiculous the amount of texts and FaceTime calls which were still coming through after midnight.

It just convinced me we were doing the right thing. I know she wouldn't have the self control not to look and reply.

And yes we are the only parents who do this, according to DD.

My yr 11 DD puts hers on charge downstairs at 10pm on school nights, weekends and holidays I leave it up to her. The issue isn't so much her as her mates and I think when you can hear your phone pinging its too tempting to look at it. She's got her exams coming up and needs the sleep. Not sure what I will do when she goes back into 6th form I might give her a month or two to self regulate and see what happens.

Nearly 15 year old has his taken away at 10pm. Not allowed in the bedroom overnight.
Good job really, as it lights up enough with notifications until well after midnight with bloody Snapchat/ FB!

All gadgets on charge downstairs overnight, it's where the multiblock is for charging. There isn't actually anywhere in any of the bedrooms to safely charge all the gadgets anyway. The only exception is my tablet, which I use instead of a telly for Netflix at bedtimes occasionally, so that lives in our bedroom.