If you had money to burn, would you use a surrogate?

[Hippiesip]

Say you're having difficulty TTC a second or third child, would you pay for an American surrogate if you simply didn't want to wait/go through the pregnancy?

I think I would. I loved creating my son but pregnancy was extremely difficult for me mentally and emotionally. I would rather not doing it again, but still growing our family.

No way! What if she kept the baby?! It would be awful.

I'd use the money for a night nanny for between 3 weeks (i.e. bf established) and 4 months to get the baby into a routine and sleeping through the night. Now THAT would be incredible.

No. It is total exploitation and could have awful long-term health complications for a disadvantaged woman in a shit country to have health issues.

Absolutely not, women’s bodies are not commodities and should not used for the convenience of others. Also, I think this idea that anyone can have a baby at any cost is getting out of hand.

No

I hated pregnancy and 'birth' (induction and CS).

But do I think that I would choose to rent the inside of another woman's body and have her risk her life, health, comfort for me? No.

But I have carried a baby and not had to go through infertility. So I can't speak to that.

I am appalled that anyone actually thinks like this:

I think I would. I loved creating my son but pregnancy was extremely difficult for me mentally and emotionally. I would rather not doing it again, but still growing our family.

You found it difficult, so you’ll just pay someone else to do it? I mean fuck the poor woman you use right? She’s not got as much money so she can sufffer the mental, physical and emotional affects for you? Outsource the risk to your own body, make someone poorer than you do it?

Christ on a fucking bike. Anyone who says yes to this needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

Well, I think I'll wait how it goes with the first one (I have major jitters, tbh....)

So I honestly can't answer the question.

However, pregnancy certainly hasn't been a walk in the park up to now... And I currently can't really think of ever wanting to do it again. But I would like an other child....

However, it's also not unlikely that I will want to try doing it again in 1 - 2 years, who knows?

But my moral objections to this aren't as strong as other user's.

Maybe this woman had super easy pregnancy.Maybe this woman isn't going without medication for most of the pregnancy (which I'm doing...)

Or maybe we're denying a woman the right to make a choice about what she wants to do with her body if we're categorically against surrogacy. Idk...

I am 90% set against having another pregnancy but I don't think I could use a surrogate-I couldn't really trust someone else to carry my baby. The process surrounding extracting the ova is also unpleasant from what I hear. I would rather adopt or not have anymore children. But my answer would be different if I didn't have children already.

Would I pay another woman to risk disability, ill health and death for me? NO.

This. I nearly died having my first. no one could have predicted it - I was text book healthy normal pregnancy and a fit young woman. I wouldn't do that to another woman. I am very sympathetic to those battling infertility but I have big problems with surrogacy and I think it is part of the increasing commodification of women and in particular poor women.

Or maybe we're denying a woman the right to make a choice about what she wants to do with her body if we're categorically against surrogacy.

We don't let people sell blood or organs in this country.

No, it’s exploitative.

Childbirth is the no.1 killer of women worldwide. Another woman taking that risk for me is not something I could have on my conscience.

TheButterflyOfTheStorms

I know. And I currently live in a country where surrogacy is not even recognised (usually not for birth certificates etc either. Even if there is a valid one from... America, e.g.)

But just because certain things aren't allowed doesn't mean that I'm categorically against them.

Not in a million years .

Absolutely not. Paying another woman to take the risks of pregnancy and childbirth is a horrible dystopian state of affairs.

No.

I'm not sure. OTOH I do understand why people offer to be a surrogate. SIL has quite serious health complications and would need to come off her medication to fall pg, it's something I would have considered for them if I wasn't over 40 and already pushed my luck pregnancy wise.

Women are being encouraged to see genetics and gestation as a salable process.
I think its a case of just because you can, doesnt mean you should. It plays into taking women out of the process and into the rhelm of "service providers".
To answer the question, no , im a mother, i wouldnt be a utetus for someone else , nor would i expect anyone else to be.
I mentioned this view on another board and was not supported but roundly criticised. It wasvery sad that women have been so brainwashed.

@oncountdowntospring I see it as very different when it's a relative. In the same way I would give a relative a kidney.

But not ask for one for money.

If i lived in the UK i'd use a UK surrogate. I have serious issues with some of the US policies about surrogacy. I have personal exprience of UK surrogacy tho so am biased

Another one here who thinks it’s explotative. Kim Kardashian’s most recent baby situation made me think less of her than I already did, and that’s saying something. She already had two, a boy and a girl, could have adopted, but chose to pay her way to what she wanted. As soon as that child was born she was out at parties every night, going to photo shoots etc. Kanye went abroad (too many instagram sleb blogs), they didn’t spend more than half a day bothering with any bonding with that new baby! Just another accessory with a ridiculous name. I think there could maybe be some circumstances in which I could see it as a reasonable thing to do. Like if you had no children and were legally banned from adoption for some arbitrary reason, and you were able to be very sure that the surrogate was physically and emotionally very well and healthy and that it would somehow not affect them in any way... but then that’s immeasurable, there’s no way to guarantee. That being said, I’ve seen some heartbreaking situations with people who’ve adopted, so I don’t know. If money was no object and I already had a family, I’d spend it on some kind of philanthropic endeavour, where I see kids that really need help, care and love, achieve amazing things and move onwards and upwards in their lives.

No.
No way.
It is horrific to put the health burden on another woman...and it makes mr very fucking angry that we think it is acceptable to use women as breeding vessels.

I had severe HG during pregnancy.

I was hospitalised for 3 months of my PG.

I would love for DS to have a sibling.
It will never happen.

I can't go through that again myself, it nearly killed me.

But equally I could never in good conscience pay another woman to do it for me.

How do you square that in your head??

"I don't want to suffer another difficult pregnancy....but. I'll happily co opt another womans body and put her through potentially the same"???

You found it difficult, so you’ll just pay someone else to do it? I mean fuck the poor woman you use right? She’s not got as much money so she can sufffer the mental, physical and emotional affects for you? Outsource the risk to your own body, make someone poorer than you do it?

Fucking hell this.

Yes, absolutely. I'm in the middle of my second HG pregnancy, I'm 22 weeks and today I had to cut off a mechanic mid phone call so that I could run to the kitchen and throw up into the sink. I had a huge bleed from a haematoma at 12 weeks which carried on for over a month. I have SPD and need physio and a pelvic belt.

My first pregnancy with as bad, the day after I sobbed with relief that it was over.

So yes, I'd definitely pay somebody to do this for me.