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Original poster

Right to stay in property until child is 18

99 replies

Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 16:40

Does this right still exist? For info I have child who is 6 and pregnant with our second. Been with oh 15 years and sadly relationship has broken down and there is no going back.

Never ever a position that I thought I’d find myself in but yet here we are. I have done a Cms calculation and with their minimum payment and my earnings I can afford mortgage. There will be no maternity leave to speak of sadly as I will need my income but I can do this. I am just concerned about the living situation. Renting would be hard to afford.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 16:43

He will not leave the property I don’t think but I will speak to his mum whom he is very close to and she will tell him to think of his children. I just need to safe guard our futures.

His income is much much higher than mine but mine will be enough for me and children. A tough theee years ahead but the. I can increase my earnings power. We are not married so I am not entitled to any income from him but I don’t want it either. I want a clean break and not to uproot my son more than necessariy. He doesn’t deserve any of this and I need to do everything that I can to keep his childhood intact.

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UnimaginativeUsername · 12/02/2018 16:48

Are you married?

How is the house owned? If it’s in joint names you may need to buy him out of the house.

UnimaginativeUsername · 12/02/2018 16:50

Sorry. I see that you’re not married.

In which case it probably comes down to the ownership of the house and whether you can afford to buy him out (if he’s not able or willing to just hand his equity over to you). If the house is in his name only, then you may have no right to it at all.

Happygolucky009 · 12/02/2018 16:50

Please contact citizens advice and get as much free legal advice.

UnimaginativeUsername · 12/02/2018 16:51

And it may also depend on whether you can get a high enough mortgage in your own name.

An alternative would be to sell the house and buy something smaller for yourself.

JacquesHammer · 12/02/2018 16:52

How is the property held in terms of names on the mortgage/Title Information Document?

needmysleep75 · 12/02/2018 16:54

Depending on how reasonable he is you may be able to get him to agree to you keeping the house, paying all the mortgage and him only getting his equity once the kids are older and house is sold.

UnimaginativeUsername · 12/02/2018 16:56

It’s not just about whether he is ‘reasonable’ though. He may need the equity in the house to buy something himself, and/or he may not be able to buy something else because his name is still on the mortgage for this house.

WitchesHatRim · 12/02/2018 16:57

It isn't a right and
You aren't married which complicates things. It has never been an automatic right even for married couples.

You need legal advice.

WitchesHatRim · 12/02/2018 16:58

Depending on how reasonable he is you may be able to get him to agree to you keeping the house, paying all the mortgage and him only getting his equity once the kids are older and house is sold.

It has nothing to do with being reasonable.

There aren't many people who can afford to run two homes.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 12/02/2018 17:00

No it's not a right and unless you can take the mortgage over in your name only it's likely the house will be sold.

BarbarianMum · 12/02/2018 17:03

I've only heard if the "staying in the house until the children are 18" thing as part of a divorce settlement and even then it's rare. Whose name is on the deeds?

Blankscreen · 12/02/2018 17:04

Yes you just paying the mortgage doesn't let him him off the hook. It's unlikely that he will want to be tied to a mortgage on a house he's not living in.

If you want to do transfer of equity the mortgage company will need to be involved and you will need to pass affordability checks.

Unfortunately you might have to move.

Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 17:06

Thanks, we will need to sell then. I was hoping that ds could keep his family home but we will be ok. In London so even with a sizeable equity I can’t afford to buy on my own. That’s ok, we can rent.

It is unlikely that things will be amicable so the most straightforward route would be to rent joint property out until sold. I will relocate to cheaper area of uk in a couple of years and then the equity will be more than enough as deposit on a home for myself and dc. But that is a few years down the line. He is manipulative and financially abusive so it is hard.

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GoldenBlue · 12/02/2018 17:06

Sorry to hear your troubles.

I'm afraid there isn't an automatic right to stay in a house until 18. If married the court will consider the available resources and the best way to cater for everyone's needs by dividing them.

Sometimes that means a meshed order is out in place and the parent with residency of the kids stays in the house until the children are older and the other party gets their share of the house equity later. Other times the house will be sold and the equity divided.

Would you be and to afford to buy him out? It would likely be impossible for your ex to be able to buy a house if he is still on the mortgage of this house.

Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 17:09

Property is in joint names. Yes unlikely he would be happy with his share of the equity tied up. Not fair either but having said that our ds does need somewhere to live.

As communication and the relationship has broken down completely it is unlikely that we can sit down and agree on an amicable way forward. I will seek legal advice tmrw.

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Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 17:10

I just need to find a way out with the little that’s left of my mental health intact. I can not afford to be bullied/manipulates/coherced any longer.

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Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 17:15

And to clarify I didnt mean that I should have a right as such. I’m just looking for ways to provide stability and minimise upheaval for my dc.

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UnimaginativeUsername · 12/02/2018 17:16

It does sound like the house will need to be sold.

I’m in a similar position (although we are just going to stay here until the house is sold). I can’t afford to buy P out, and couldn’t get a mortgage of the required size on my own. He can’t afford to do either of those things either. So selling it and getting our own places is the only option. Luckily we’re not in London so I can afford to buy. But you’ll be fine renting. It’ll presumably be an improvement over the current situation.

expatinscotland · 12/02/2018 17:21

'I will relocate to cheaper area of uk in a couple of years and then the equity will be more than enough as deposit on a home for myself and dc. But that is a few years down the line. He is manipulative and financially abusive so it is hard.'

In that case he may well block your move in court if it interferes with his access to your children. But sadly it's never been a right to remain in a home until a child turns 18 when a relationship breaks down.

Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 17:21

Thanks for supportFlowers. Yes we will be fine, I’m just dreading what is to come but I need to do this.

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Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 17:22

Expat, yes he might try to block it. I am prepared for that. Still, I need to try and look forward and believe that there is future for myself and dc that is financially viable otherwise I can just give up now.

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UnimaginativeUsername · 12/02/2018 17:23

I’m dreading what is to come too, but trying to focus on how much better it’ll be once I’ve got past the initial upheaval.

Gemini69 · 12/02/2018 17:24

the Order you're thinking of is called a Mesher Order...

www.divorceresource.co.uk/thefamilyhome.html

I hope it helps Flowers

Original poster
Lndnmummy · 12/02/2018 17:34

Useful information for non married couples.

www.compactlaw.co.uk/free-legal-information/relationships-family-law/unmarried-couples.html

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