Right to stay in property until child is 18

[Lndnmummy]

Does this right still exist? For info I have child who is 6 and pregnant with our second. Been with oh 15 years and sadly relationship has broken down and there is no going back.

Never ever a position that I thought I’d find myself in but yet here we are. I have done a Cms calculation and with their minimum payment and my earnings I can afford mortgage. There will be no maternity leave to speak of sadly as I will need my income but I can do this. I am just concerned about the living situation. Renting would be hard to afford.

[Lndnmummy]

I can certainly prove that we are engaged with an intent to marry.

[Bluntness100]

Op, i think you're understandably thinking short term. Living in a house he half owns would be a friggen nightmare for 18 years. Think of things like maintenance, what happens when the boiler goes. Do you want to argue about replacing it? Who pays? When other things breakdown and need replacing or repairing? If you can just make the payments, it would be awful. Also what happens when you find another partner. What about him coming round to inspect it and How you're maintaining it.

Renting may not be ideal, but your repairs are inc and it is your property. Not his. It really is the only way to make a proper break. For your future self.

[WitchesHatRim]

@Gemini69 OP isn't married.

[Bluntness100]

Op, who ended it?

[Lndnmummy]

Yes I understand that renting is the only way forward. Thank you so much for all the advice. It saves me time.

I have put everything that I have to “us”. And now I have nothing left for myself. I’m such a cliche.

We need to end it but it has not been spoken. last night he confessed that he doesn’t want our second baby (I’m 20 weeks) and that I bullied him into it (not true) and that he has lost the woman he admired. The career driven, focussed one.

He is right, she is lost because she is effectively a single parent in order to support his career that he only managed to embark on at 38, when he finally decided to pull his socks up. For the first time he put earns me and I guess I’m shattered and have put on Weight and the ride isn’t so much fun anymore.

I have terminated another pregnancy for him 10 years ago and I’m not doing it again. I’m 40 now. We planned this baby together but I start questioning myself. He bought me size 8 clothes yesterday and asked me to strip down naked to see how far I was off what I used to be. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. I stood there naked, unshaven with my swollen belly and breasts trying to get these skinny jeans over my knees.

He smirked and said “see, told you”.

That is just the tip.

[Lndnmummy]

I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t live like this anymore.

[Snowysky20009]

What a bastard!!

[Upyours2017]

Wow, the clothes thing... He sounds like an abusive arsehole and this will be unbearably hard sometimes but the best thing for you and your dc. Just take it a step at a time. First off, get your free consultation with a solicitor (or several), and get yourself to CAB to find out what you may be eligible for.

[Afreshcuppateaplease]

That is disgusting behaviour op

[DaisyFlower161]

I have a friend who is going through this. If he is financially manipulative please get as much information as you can on his financial situation and DO NOT agree to anything until you put it past a lawyer. My friend was pushed into agreeing something but fortunately it was just verbal and she was able to get out of it.

[000bourneFarm]

Mesher order.

[UnimaginativeUsername]

You will be so much better off without him, OP.

You’re 20 weeks pregnant. You don’t need to fit into size 8 skinnies. He is just an arsehole.

[WitchesHatRim]

@DaisyFlower161 OP isn't married. Not being married makes a huge difference.

[Whoville]

Is there any chance you can move away now before the baby is born? It might work in your favour to just go, rent in a cheaper part of the country and start job hunting. So sorry this had happened to you, he sounds utterly vile

[Lndnmummy]

I don’t think so no, I can’t apply for a transfer as I will be having the baby shortly. My best bet is to have the baby, a short mat leave and then seek to move.

[Boulshired]

You really need to be away from him now, he must have a very strong hold on you for you to strip naked when you really didn’t want to. This is not a safe place for you.

[BarbarianMum]

God no, don't live with that a moment more. What a creep.

I certainly think you should consider whether moving close to your support network now, before the birth, would be possible and beneficial. Him being an arse about the house gives you the perfect excuse.

And yyy to agreeing to nothing without approval from your (hopefully shit-hot and an expert in domestic abuse) solicitor.

[BarbarianMum]

Apologies x post.

[Lndnmummy]

My family is overseas and my father really unwell. It’s just me really.

It’s fine I’ll be fine. I can’t just up and leave I don’t have enough money for that.

[PersianCatLady]

Sorry but being engaged with an intent to marry means nothing.

You are not married and therefore have none of the rights that a wife has.

You will be entitled to child maintenance but that is it.

[Lndnmummy]

That’s fine catlady, thanks

[Lndnmummy]

No need to be sorry

[PersianCatLady]

The Law Reform (Miscellanous Provisions) Act 1970 (as far as I remember) relates to engagement rings and their ownership.

Hopefully someone else will be along in a bit to explain it a bit better.

[londonrach]

Seriously no right...maybe if married but depends on divorce etc. you need legal advice! Cab is vvvv good.

[PersianCatLady]

I realise my posts sounded harsh, sorry about that. I am a very direct person.

Are you OK? Are you safe?

Is it just that the marriage has broken down and not that you have been hurt or something?