Right to stay in property until child is 18

[Lndnmummy]

Does this right still exist? For info I have child who is 6 and pregnant with our second. Been with oh 15 years and sadly relationship has broken down and there is no going back.

Never ever a position that I thought I’d find myself in but yet here we are. I have done a Cms calculation and with their minimum payment and my earnings I can afford mortgage. There will be no maternity leave to speak of sadly as I will need my income but I can do this. I am just concerned about the living situation. Renting would be hard to afford.

[UnimaginativeUsername]

In some ways, not being married simplifies things. If it’s in your name, it’s yours. If it’s jointly owned (generally a house) you split the equity according to the percentages owned. No need to divorce. No pensions to value and split. And so on. You can just sell the house, take whatever equity is yours and walk away. (Well, expect for the arrangements for the children - but that is equally complex regardless of marriage).

Obviously this is not the case in all relationships, and particularly not where one partner has given up or reduced their work to support the other. But for some people, it is actually slightly simpler not to be married (although not simple, as you’re ending a cohabiting relationship with children).

[5plusMeAndHim]

He bought me size 8 clothes yesterday and asked me to strip down naked to see how far I was off what I used to be. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. I stood there naked, unshaven with my swollen belly and breasts trying to get these skinny jeans over my knees.

what the heck? why is he buying you new clothes why are you accepting them, why are you getting naked for him? you are sending out mixed messages

[Gemini69]

I'm struggling to get my head round... a man buying his pregnant partner size 8 clothing to prove she weighs more now.... what a disgusting manipulative bully...

I'm so sorry OP.. I'm so sorry for you reading this....

[CamicaziTheBogBurglar]

Please go and see a solicitor asap. A proper one, even if you have to pay. Try Resolution (family law website).

Don't agree to anything, unless it's him leaving.

From what my solicitor told me, there is a chance of a mesher order, and a chance of getting more than 50% of the equity, especially with children as young as yours and your lower earnings. The problem is getting him to leave.

Good luck. Been there, haven't made it out yet, but still trying.

[UnimaginativeUsername]

There’s no chance of a mesher order if you aren’t married.

[Bluntness100]

I don't understand. You said you'd split with no going back. Yet last night he bought uou clothes and you stripped naked to put them on?

When did uou split. today? Does he know?

[Lndnmummy]

5plusMeAndHim, because I was scared and have 15 years of doing what he says behind me. For anyone never in that situation I guess it seems unlikely. But I’m not really hear to justify why I did or didn’t try clothes on when threatened/coherced.

[Lndnmummy]

Bluntness. Pretty sure all has been explained in my posts. I decided after the clothes thing that I have had enough.

[Abouttoblow]

The situation is clear from OP's posts Bluntness

[notapizzaeater]

He sounds like a right tosser.

[cestlavielife]

Might be better to begin a new life elsewhere. Renting or whatever.
Get the house sold get yr equity share or he can buy you out. You could buy in the new area and rent that out
Sound's like he won't easily leave anyway but if you have more examples of his behaviour it might amount to coercive control.

[Walrust00th]

If you jointly own the property one of you can buy the other out and take on the whole mortgage or the house has to be sold and the money split. Look at the CAB website for the difference between being married or single. You need to seek legal advice. If the children are his, he should pay child maintenance. I would suggest you say to him all further correspondence will be in writing from my solicitor or regarding children. He has no respect for you as the mother of his children. Make a quick move to sort everything out quickly and start a new life

[PersianCatLady]

Walrus
The bank / B.S. may not allow one person to retain the mortgage alone and I doubt that anybody would want to remain on the m9rtgage when they may need another one for themselves in the future.

As awful as it may seem a clean break is often the best thing for everyone.

[MrsDilber]

Regarding buying a pregnant woman size 8 clothes, I'd have throttled him with them.

Good luck to you, op. You will be better off without him. I wish you happiness in your future which, absolutely, will be brighter down the line without him.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

He sounds awful. Ending it is definitely the right thing to do.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Fat shaming his pregnant wife has taken my breath away. You need to get your son as far away from his father as possible so that he learns what it is to be a real man, not some vile specimen.

[kinkajoukid]

I'm sickened by your partner's behaviour Lndnmummy but so full of admiration for your strength of mind and resolution to save yourself and your kids. Hold on to that and ignore any posters who cannot see how he could have compelled you to try on the clothes.. you are not the one in the wrong here and I am so glad that you know that.

I hope you can find all the support and help you need to be safe and get away from him ASAP

[Lndnmummy]

Thanks everyone. Seeking legal advice today. It seems from the reading I have done that selling up and renting is the way to go for now. I can apply via the courts for the property to be sold if he doesn’t agree so there is a way forward.

We will be ok renting, the baby doesn’t need his own room for a couple of years so whilst I have nursery fees to pay we can stay in a two bedroom flat. Once mursery fees are out of the way then I can put that money towards a bigger 3 bedroom flat instead. It will be tight, but I can do it.

I was like I woke up after the clothes thing and could see clearly.

[SmileAndNod]

If you're homeless with a child and pregnant surely the local authority would house you? Wouldnt have to be forever just until you get back on your feet

for you

[Whatshallidonowpeople]

A perfect example of why people should have children without getting married. Not for op, for people who ask what the difference is

[PersianCatLady]

Smileandnod
In theory maybe, but in reality it isn't quite that simple.

[Bluntness100]

Sorry op. Didn't see the bit where you said "we need to end it but it's not yet been spoken". I think the clothes thing took me aback too much. It's shockingly abusive.💐

[cestlavielife]

In London the chances of being housed are zero... tho a council might refer to a lust if landlords .
Thus is abusive relationship but op has a job and can rent place of her choice within limits. Doesn't need to be huge.

[cestlavielife]

In this case marriage isn't too different as op is financially independent. But is a different set of laws for forcing sale i e TOLATA
And children's act to get a share for the children e.g. if she wanted to stay in the property or have extra equity to house children which is paid back later when dc grown up.op you need v good legal advice.
But getting away is priority for your and dc wellbeing. This is not a nice man....

[Tablesturned]

Beware if you move out and he stays in the house but doesn’t actually want to sell. It is easy for one partner to block/stall a sale. I thought I would never sell my house as exh wouldn’t budge on the price or accept any reasonable offers and it took a year and a half in the end.