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Original poster

Is dd too young for this??

190 replies

malificent7 · 11/02/2018 03:35

Dd 9 ( year 5) has a boyfriend. Ge sounds lovely . He gave her a crisp, gave up his chair for her in assembly and grld open a door. This is all very cute.

Trouble is they text on instagram. Whilst i remember having crushes in y5 there was no such thing as instagram or texting.

Im just worried that she is too young to be forming such strong bonds and I dont want her to get hurt. All texts are read by me and very innocent.
I wish she was a bit more into her books and less into boys!

OP posts:
holasoydora · 13/02/2018 00:42

My DC aren't having social media til they are the age minimum of 13. Not judging but I work in this area and have heard too many horror stories. Get her to write him a note!

nokidshere · 13/02/2018 01:35

The first text message was sent in 1992 and became popular in1993 when Nokia led the market. I was 31 at the time and we got a 'works mobile" it was exciting but very cumbersome

9 is too young for social media of any kind.

MrsWhatToDo · 13/02/2018 02:15

Heavens! Getting back to you're original point.... Stop worrying. Social media is not going to make the 'boyfriend' any less of an innocent crush than any other 9/10 year old. At that age it's just a cute starting point for learning about relationships. She might get hurt. Same as anyone, any age.
You already monitor her phone use. That's good parenting. It's better to let them learn and guide them than to prevent them having anything until they are 'old enough'... What do they learn when they are being prevented? Nothing.
We are shaping them to cope with the changing world.

Pinga · 13/02/2018 02:57

Malificent7 you said she knows all about safety online

Sorry but she really doesnt. I assumed at age 40ish I knew what I was doing. I was sensible etc. Got burned when an friend became an ex friend and shared screenshots of our private conversations in much more public groups. Turned out she was really not someone any of us should have trusted in the first place.
It was hard to deal with. Repercussions for ages. Dealing with it as an adult was not fun and it wasnt anywhere near as horrendous an experience as it could have been - no child should be having to cope with that.

metalmum15 · 13/02/2018 07:15

Tbh, if your dd school is a decent one, she should know herself she's too young to have instagram. My dds school often have assemblies for the junior children where they reinforce the message of online safety and the age limit for all social media sites, my dd will often come home spouting 'did you know you have to be 13 for IG, FB etc?' They even ask kids to put their hands up if they have any of these accounts. We also get regular letter reminders. Perhaps your school should be doing this for the ignorant parents who have 'no idea' about social media.

falang · 13/02/2018 07:18

Your daughter is too young to be on instagram. I'd be more concerned about that than her having a boyfriend.

norfolkenclue · 13/02/2018 07:40

@ljlkk Do you have children? If you do,and they are tees or coming up to teenage years, you need to SERIOUSLY educate yourself on cyber bullying and internet safety...and quickly! You have absolutely NO FUCKING IDEA of the dangers (and I do mean terrifying, life-threatening dangers!!) of the Internet! What an utterly moronic, uneducated, unhelpful post! Do you not read or watch the news? Jesus!

norfolkenclue · 13/02/2018 07:54

@metalmum15 All schools have this...it's part of the curriculum. Last week was Safer Internet Day in schools and I asked my class if any of them had Facebook/Instagram etc. Over half had. They are 7 years old. Shocking! They ALL knew it was illegal but said that mummy or daddy had put 'the wrong age' into the account so they could have it! They chat to each other and to other people they don't know on instagram. One girl has a hobby (won't say what as it could be outing) but she chats to people all over the world to do with the hobby and posts pictures of herself doing this hobby. It shocks and saddens me honestly that so many parents are not actively parenting this!! There are guidelines for a reason...it's called PROTECT YOUR KIDS!

metalmum15 · 13/02/2018 08:02

Norfolk well that was my thought that all schools are clued up these days. ..in which case ops dc is obviously well aware she shouldn't have IG.

norfolkenclue · 13/02/2018 08:23

Aware...but not mature enough to apply. Mum allows it so she does it...so it's ok 💁‍♀️

manicmij · 13/02/2018 10:10

9 years old and on ig, not on for me. Just because other kids her age do it doesn't make it right. Kids that age should just speak to one another the old fashioned way of communicating. A phone for that use at nine years old is pushing it a bit. Yhe relationship may well be innocent but it can be just the same without using a phone. What on earth has she to look forward say in three years when 12, done it all so no wonder everything is b o r I n g to kids. Puppy love isn't at 9 years far too young.

KERALA1 · 13/02/2018 16:06

Looks at my 9 year old building a fairy castle out of a cardboard box. Instagram? Boyfriend? No bloody way.

TriniRedVelvet · 13/02/2018 20:49

Looks at my 9 year old building a fairy castle out of a cardboard box. Instagram? Boyfriend? No bloody way

For sure!! Mine has been playing restaurant with her kitchen and plastic food and cash register. She'll be 10 in April!!

MerryMarigold · 13/02/2018 21:55

Looks at my 9 year old building a fairy castle out of a cardboard box. Instagram? Boyfriend? No bloody way

Ds1 is 12. Has his own phone. Shown no interest in downloading instagram, what's app or having a Facebook account.
Ds2 is 9. No phone. Uses mine for 'insta', begs to have a phone (not happening), posts stuff on my Facebook, loves fiddling with 'tech' though still despises girls.

No need typo be self congratulatory because your kid is that way. It's how to deal with the pushing/ nagging etc. which is more important.

lougle · 13/02/2018 22:05

Year 6 at the earliest for a mobile phone, and to be honest, I wish I had spun DD2 out a bit longer for it, but she convinced me she was the only one in the whole year who didn't have one yet. In my defense she's the youngest in the year (August birthday), she is in a tiny school with just 12 children in the year, so it was very plausible, and she can't normally lie convincingly.

But we have strict rules. I have access to the phone and passwords at any time for any reason. The phone stays out of her room at night. She has WhatsApp, but I can read all conversations if I want to. Strict rules about photo taking. No other social media including Snap Chat, Instagram, Facebook, etc.

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