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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is dd too young for this??

190 replies

malificent7 · 11/02/2018 03:35

Dd 9 ( year 5) has a boyfriend. Ge sounds lovely . He gave her a crisp, gave up his chair for her in assembly and grld open a door. This is all very cute.

Trouble is they text on instagram. Whilst i remember having crushes in y5 there was no such thing as instagram or texting.

Im just worried that she is too young to be forming such strong bonds and I dont want her to get hurt. All texts are read by me and very innocent.
I wish she was a bit more into her books and less into boys!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 11/02/2018 21:02

Im just worried that she is too young to be forming such strong bonds and I dont want her to get hurt. All texts are read by me and very innocent.

As many others have said, she's too young for social media and you have to ignore the 'But all my friends use it'

Marriedwithchildren5 · 11/02/2018 21:32

Having a boyfriend is just that. A boy who is a friend. You're failing big time letting her on Instagram. Stop following the year 5's and parent!!

wakemeupbefore · 12/02/2018 07:29

'Strong bonds' my arse; they are 9 year old children and are having fun chatting, next week/month they'll fall out over something trivial and there will be someone else who's the flavour of the week/month for each. They still will be friends, hopefully, but 'strong bonds' are not formed at that age. Stop trying to make it into something it is not.
They are not teenagers and their brains work in a very different way.
What you are allowing to happen though, is your DD getting sucked into the complex world of social media, dealing with which she is not emotionally equipped as of yet.

Original poster
malificent7 · 12/02/2018 08:41

Dd has no credit on her phone. Its for browsing.

I naively thought instagram was a pit like pinterest...a platform for showing photos...i had no idea you could use it to message on it.

That's how they message. She knows all about safety online though and blocks people she dosnt know if they appriach her.

It dosnt sit well though.

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 12/02/2018 08:44

Cute puppy love 'i have a friend and he is a boy and we like each other' wouldn't bother me at 9.

Allowing access to social media at 9 would bother me.

CommanderDaisy · 12/02/2018 08:44

Is her account private?

Original poster
malificent7 · 12/02/2018 08:47

Yes it is...

OP posts:
Itsbecauseimaleo · 12/02/2018 08:49

I'm sorry but 9 years old is far too young for Instagram

k2p2k2tog · 12/02/2018 08:51

I have a 9 year old. He's got a phone but only because it's an old one handed down through the family. He doesn't text on it, doesn't take it to school and certainly doesn't have Instagram!

The "but everyone else has it" excuse is such lazy parenting.

MerryMarigold · 12/02/2018 08:53

My dc are 9. Ds uses my instagram account to text friends sometimes. They are not getting own phones until they are in secondary, because they will only use it for social media and games not phonecalls. All this 'everyone in the class' has it winds me up, because it's so often TRUE. The level of irresponsible parenting is staggering, bit doesn't mean I'm joining in.

MerryMarigold · 12/02/2018 08:56

Also, because ds2 is on my account, I spotted be had been chatting to someone who had a similar name to famous YouTuber. Even ds knew he wasn't the real guy but felt flattered this strange teenager was engaging with him. I went beserk. They know all about internet safety but for some reason he didn't twig. I'm very glad he does not have own phone or own account. He is only allowed to speak to friends now.

LovingLola · 12/02/2018 09:03

*As a kid, When you're bullied in real life, the bullies go to your school, live in your neighbourhood, join your clubs. Your parents socialise with their parents so drag you to social occasions with your tormentors there. There is no escape.

Bullied by some stranger online? Hit BLOCK and they're gone forever. Bliss.
Instagram is a lot safer than Real life.*

Have you heard of Dolly Evertt? 14 year old Australian girl who took her own life in January because of cyber bullying.
She is one of many children who have died in similar circumstances.

CommanderDaisy · 12/02/2018 09:11

Your daughter is too young for social media.
I work as an educator for students, teachers and parents in the social media security sphere. I know what I am talking about. Get rid of the account.

I am sure you care for your daughter , but letting her have an Instagram account at nine, makes you sound like a bad parent. (and that applies to the parents of her friends too). Especially if you thought Instagram was like Pinterest, and they couldn't message. That makes me think you have very little idea about the risks, settings , links to other apps, geo-tagging etc.

Please, get rid of the social media.

Halebeke425 · 12/02/2018 09:22

My ten year old doesn't use any social media, has never requested to and never mentioned anyone else her age using it (though I don't doubt they do) . If she did I'd be telling her no bloody way. I wonder if the parents that let their children use ig have actually ever used it themselves or fully understand how it works/what it is. Private messaging, uploading pictures of themselves and the high likelihood of them seeing inappropriate stuff aside, it's not healthy for someone so young to be exposed to the whole 'instagram perfect' world where everyone's bodies, lives, relationships are seemingly idyllic and wonderful. It's not healthy for most of us adults to be fair!

Nanny0gg · 12/02/2018 13:56

Children know all about all sorts of ‘safety’ but they’re still children and there’s lots of things you don’t trust them with. Social media is one of those things.

AlexanderHamilton · 12/02/2018 13:59

She’s way too young for Instagram. Year 7 & heavily monitored by us was our rules.

Helmetbymidnight · 12/02/2018 14:02

Agree with others. Social media at that age is too young.

OkPedro · 12/02/2018 14:19

I got my first phone in 98
Texting wasn't being used before this and even then it was so basic it was painful using it.
My dd is 9,her friend has IG and snap chat.. I can't get my head around it as her Mam is very clued in (generally) I can only think she hasn't the first clue about internet safety

MaggieWaggie41 · 12/02/2018 17:44

Far too young for social media, I'm actually shocked that you allow her have access, poor parenting

olbndansmummy · 12/02/2018 17:52

Ds is y5 and just 10 no phone, he does have a tablet, but with strict parental controls on it. Tbh the social media would worry me more than a boy she mostly only sees in school

Ineke · 12/02/2018 17:59

Too young for social media. This is just my opinion. Can't they just text or speak on the phone!
Social media has creeps crawling all over it so make sure that you check all the time

Beamur · 12/02/2018 18:07

Don't imagine Pinterest is completely innocent either. Messages can be sent and there is fairly adult content on there too.
My DD is nearly 11 and I let her browse my Pinterest account but she can't have her own. She won't be on any social media that we can't monitor until she's older. She has access to messages on her iPod, but these also appear on my iPad.
Really not a good thing to let young kids have access to these places.

luckylavender · 12/02/2018 18:18

I think they're far too young to be on social media & that's the issue here. Not all 9 year olds are.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 12/02/2018 18:18

IG is not suitable for this age, they could see any number of things on there.

TheHolidayArmadillo · 12/02/2018 18:18

Agree with all the others. 9 is too young for any social media. Including unsupervised Youtube as far as I'm concerned.