Is dd too young for this??

[malificent7]

Dd 9 ( year 5) has a boyfriend. Ge sounds lovely . He gave her a crisp, gave up his chair for her in assembly and grld open a door. This is all very cute.

Trouble is they text on instagram. Whilst i remember having crushes in y5 there was no such thing as instagram or texting.

Im just worried that she is too young to be forming such strong bonds and I dont want her to get hurt. All texts are read by me and very innocent.
I wish she was a bit more into her books and less into boys!

What else is she browsing on her phone?

Easy way to get round this 'sorry DD, I've messed up. I didn't realise children weren't supposed to have Instagram accounts so I'm afraid I will have to remove it from your phone. You can send emails/WA instead'.

My daughter is 9 in year 5. I wouldn't let her go on instagram. I don't let her on YouTube unsupervised. Texting is fine as long as it's not secretive. Mine hates boys still though.

For God's sake! grow up, and let your daughter do the same. And start that process by taking her mobile phone off her. She doesn't need it.

I second, third and fourth many other people who say that your DD is far too young to be on Instagram. The minimum age is the same as Facebook and Twitter and I'm sure you wouldn't let her on there. Please delete her account OP, social media is a very dangerous place to be for someone so young.

Completely agree- at this age she shouldn't be encouraged to have a boyfriend and to label it 'cute'. Be firm and assertive and set down some rules otherwise she'll have crossed all the boundaries by the age of 11.

I’m not 100% sure of the laws in the uk, but as far as social media accounts for children in Ireland are concerned, it is ILLEGAL for anyone under 13 to have one (Facebook, instagram etc).

Puppy love and crushes are one thing but social media takes it out of the parents control in many cases.

Delete her accounts. One of my daughter’s trying that ‘because everyone else is doing it’ would be met with my mother’s classic ‘well, if your friends told you to jump off a cliff, would you do that too?’.

Plus, in order to get any social media account she had to have faked her birth date. IMHO- delete everything.

therewas no texting in 1988 wasnt even invented yet

does seem young to be on ig is her account private aswell so noone else can see it

therewas no texting in 1988 wasnt even invented yet

GabsAlot I’m not sure how many times I need to repeat this but here we go again:

I said texting has been around nearly thirty years now, and since the first text was sent twenty-six years ago, I’m correct.

It may not have been exceedingly common and you may not personally have done done it, but it has been around nearly thirty years.

I can't get past that your 9 year old is on social media, jesus

Hmm - haven't RTFT so probably just saying what PPs will have said - but my 9 yr old DD (Yr 5) doesn't have a phone and neither do most of her friends. One or two do have hand me downs but for photos only. No-one has social media access - they're all much too young! Yes - some are now into boy/girl relationships but it seems very innocent - they label themselves 'boy and girl friends' but don't kiss and don't spend time together. It usually changes after a day or two. One lad had a girl back to his but they just played like any other play date - and they all cringe if we mention KISSING or anything. I really wouldn't expect them to be texting (even if I let them have phones) and would not think that is a normal 9yr old relationship, tbh.

You can’t have the privacy settings right if she’s receiving messages from randoms. How unsafe!

I have 9 year old, couldn’t imagine him using social media, he has no use for it. My eldest is 15, and wasn’t allowed social media until 13, and even now I monitor it.

My niece was groomed on social media aged 10, and the sick pervert who did it, did it to loads of children, and is now serving a 10 year sentence. My niece is 14, and is still struggling to deal with what happened. My sister saw no harm in my niece having SM. She isn’t allowed it at all now.

I naively thought instagram was a pit like pinterest...a platform for showing photos...i had no idea you could use it to message on it.

What else do you naively think about social media?? For your daughter's sake please get off mumsnet and start finding out about social media, graphic porn (including child rapes), pre teens being groomed and sexually abused and educate yourself about the absolute dangers that the internet poses to children like your daugher who are unfortunate enough to have parents who can't be arsed to find out what's going on.
What rock have you been living under that you don't know this stuff.

My 10 yr old dd (year 6) - no phone and no social media of any kind. She talks to her friends at school and has them over to play.

My 11 yr old ds (year 7) - my old phone, credit only added when needed for making travel arrangements, no social media but plays with friends online on Xbox in living room after homework sometimes.

Plenty of time for virtual communication later.

the general rule for us in our school/class etc was you got phone when you started big school or more walking to school on your own.never year 5 (ud have to be super cool for that lol)
Instagram at that age.never.
its so unsafe.one click or tag or even you viewing someone else non private page if you are private.or liking a page that isn't private when you are can mean ways for others to then see or get to you.
there are so many oathways to search and get by the limitations you think you have on Instagram.theyve saif that themselves hence why the age rule of 13 is even more important.

my cousin so #cutegirls. on a night in with her best mates.i searched for this and found the photo of all her mates and her in their pjs. lets think then how many 'others' can search for this type of image.it shook me to the core.her mum had no idea and thought she was just an online photo albums with her friends.nope.

Defo get rid of Instagram.

I searched a reasonable & normal # the other day and it was porn. Tuns of bloody porn.

Wanderingstar (is there a Portishead reference here, or am I truly an old fart?). What are these “hand me downs” of which you speak? Presumably an i Phone of some description. If so, I would like one, as I have a 15 yr old Nokia which rings and texts. Ditto my DC, apart from No. 4, who saved, sold stuff etc. in order to buy an i Phone...

Lovinglola, that’s a bit unkind.

Crazy - why has she even got a phone in year 5? Mine were given phones near the end of year 6 to get used to them for when they were in year 7. We did not allow social media until 12/13 and kept an eye on that when they started with it. DD uses instagram for posting her artwork but she doesn't post pics of herself. She talks to friends on whatsapp. No selfies. She is very aware of the dangers of the internet (DH works in the industry and has kept the kids very informed of the risks/issues of being too public). People are just so naive to it - children more so. It's astounding really how lenient so many of us are about it all to be honest.

Cute puppy love, but unlikely to make it into Y6. More worrying is IG, as PP’s have said. My DD is in Y5 and has no social media. At that age they are mature enough to handle a ‘romance’ but not for the potential bullying and worse that can come from exposure to social media that they are not able to manage - hence the guidelines.

@ljlkk - you are very badly mistaken. Whilst real life bullying is a very real risk and concern, online bullying has had tragic outcomes a horrifying number of times, and parents and friends often have known nothing about it. Please don’t trivialise it.

Jesus I hope this is a windup otherwise a "naively through pinterest" parent is putting their vulnerable 9 year old on show to the world and it's wife. If you have no idea what Instagram is you have no idea what her privacy settings are.
Seriously, boyfriend and "cute". Get her off social media NOW, spend the next two years learning about the platforms your child may want to use and THEN come back with your bf questions. Christ! Honestly. A 9 year old open to the world whose parents say "everyone else has it"

I agree. Remove the phone, delete the accounts and educate yourself about Insta settings. A simple hashtag search for something seemingly innocuous can lead to all kinds of horrible places. I once searched #bikini and it showed porn pictures with erect penises. I've also found bulemia tips whilst looking for a recipe and self-harm glorification whilst looking for a quotation. Strangers can message you and like and comment on photos etc if the account is not set to private. I'm not sure even that's enough. I don't think 9 is mature enough for any of that.

My daughter is 10. She’s a sensible child. She has her own iPod but not allowed ig, fb, sc etc but has message and email. She uses you tube under supervision. She leaves her iPod downstairs before going to bed. These are our rules and she accepts them. However, when checking her phone one night as I do every so often there were emails from a boy about being Boyf and girlf nothing seedy but those terms were mentioned. I found the messages in the trash so she had been trying to hide them. I was so shocked and spoke to her immediately about it. What I’m trying to say is no matter how cute/ sensible your child is you have to be so vigilant. Things happen that you may not be aware of, conversations lead to other things and children begin to cover things up. Just be very careful.

whattodoabouthis
You're like a dog with a bone 😂
Ok maybe texting was a thing 26 years ago but it wasn't being used, as most people didn't even have a mobile phone until 1998