To not understand what a "homebird" is excited by?

[BooYah]

My childhood was complicated, difficult and transitory. We moved a lot. As an adult, am bored easily, and have moved many times, including to other countries. I find it really exciting.

We are moving again soon. Lots of people have said, when told about the news that we re moving, "oh, I'm such a homebird, I wouldn't want to move away". That is, of course fine. My way isn't for everyone, I get that. But what I don't really understand is what excites other people.

I then started thinking how I could replicate those feelings if I couldn't move somewhere new, and I wondered if perhaps extreme sports would replace it? But for people who don't want either, how do you get the same thrill?

If you are a 'homebird', what excites you?

I've lived in only 2 houses my entire life and I'm in my 50s the house I was born in is only a mile away. I wouldn't want to live in lots of different countries

I craved new experiences as a young adult after a lovely, safe but not particularly exciting childhood.
I think I got it out of my system because then I was happy to move back to my hometown and got my thrills through seeing the excitement of my children as they experienced their own adventures and new experiences. My friends were very important to me.
Now they are older teens my thoughts are craving new experiences for me again, but I want to do it with a base to come back to at home. I get apathy a bit now. I am getting less sociable and love pottering at home. I like my life but I want to DO something. Unfortunately these things cost more money than we currently have and the timing isn't quite right.
But I have plans. I fancy spending 6 months of the year in a holiday home abroad and 6 months here. Of course I still want proper holidays on top of this. I'm working on dh...

I think there's a lot of berating the Op's choices going on here. Her children will not necessarily feel rootless. I actually think it takes a very secure family unit to feel happy moving around so often. I'm not sure I am as self sufficient as that. I'd probably feel lonely without the security of friends nearby.

I travelled and moved around extensively in my twenties, living and working in other countries for a couple of years at a time.

Once I had DC I stopped that lifestyle. For me, it would be unfair to inflict that on my children. I think they need stability. However, we did always go on lots of holidays and never the same place twice.

Now they are older I am thinking about working abroad again. My DC are late teens/early twenties now and both want to live and work abroad which is great.

When I am at home I get excitement from books, from learning new things, and of course, as PP have said, Tom Hardy

I do crafting and occasionally try out a new coffee shop. I went for a holiday to Scotland a couple of years ago and was ill from the stress of it the whole time I was there (autistic with a lot of anxiety). We’re trying it again though this year as I love seeing new places. I’ll take extra meds this time.

I moved school 5 times in primary (primary lasts 8 years where I'm from). I didn't move at all in secondary. The moves definitely negatively impacted my ability to make friends. I think it's a very unfair thing to do to children.

I’m an introvert who loves change. Some people love change some don’t. I find that if I’m not planning something/up to something new I feel very stuck, very ‘oh god, this is it forever’.

You need to expand your view of change. It doesn’t have to be moving it could be new role, new job, new physical challenge, etc. I find that the moment I settle I do something to throw it in the air again like retraining alongside a full on job.

I think it’s important to gain more comfort with ‘just being’ too.

I am lucky to have a job where lots of sideways moves are not just ok but essential. The longest role I’ve held in my org was 2 years. Consultancy work often suits people like us. Or portfolio careers.

Im a homebird, I actively avoid ''thrills'' Im happy being secure at home.
The excitements in my life consist of cruising , my niece being pregnant with twins,and embroidery..
How boring am i ? lol.

Oh, this is interesting.

I've been trying for years to rationalize why I feel so torn between 'going' and 'staying'. I had a childhood on two continents, and have travelled on five, but have been very unadventurous since having children.

I sometimes spend hours on Google Earth absolutely longing to live in the falklands or New Zealand or something, but when I think of making an actual move, the idea of leaving my beautiful garden and my lovely local woodlands is heartbreaking. Plus we have animals which are such a tie.

My eldest DD is a great traveller - she's been pretty much to the ends of the earth, and to some countries that I don't know anyone else who has been there. So for now I get my kicks vicariously from her travels.

I've wondered if the difference between homebodies and adventureres is deep in our genes? We are descended from both hunter gatherers who put down few roots, but also from farmers who are deeply connected to the land.. just a fanciful thought.

brownmouse what a lovely post. I have moved countries, but won't be doing it again. The thrill is seeing things take root and bloom, whether that be in terms of the garden (getting the first fruit on a tree you planted) or in the relationships around you that take time to nurture. The thrill is seeing children you knew as babies growing up into lovely adults, seeing clubs that you put time and effort into thrive.

This really is a fascinating thread. I think it also shows that you can be lazy-minded, unimaginative and dull whether or not you travel - it's not the actual locations so much as the mindset.

There is a happy medium between being a home bird and a constantly moving thrill seeker.

I enjoy holidays and travel, seeing new places and ticking off my bucket list. Travel is my hobby, I don’t do resorts and I always travel independently. Sometimes I go with DP, sometimes i go with friends, and sometimes I go alone. Next stop, New Zealand .

But I also work full time in a demanding job, and at the end of the day or week, I just want quiet time to myself to unwind and chill.

I'm a traveller married to a homebird and we really struggle. Mostly I have to compromise by staying here in a boring house and boring life. Argh! I have totally stagnated. It's like I need external change to have momentum to chase my goals. The grind of having little kids needs some serious stimulus to disrupt it!!

The only way you'd get me doing extreme sports is to tie me unconscious on to the end of the bungie rope. I did the nemaisis ride in Alton towers (friends had free tickets and insisted). I did my labour breathing exercises all the way through......worst 3 mins of my life.

My parents were immigrants and missed home their whole lives. I value my home so much and a get my thrills like a pp, academically, oh and eating raw oysters!

How old are your DC? I think kids need stability and familiarity, I personally believe it’s good for their emotional development to have that security.

You might find it exciting because that’s your personality type, perhaps it’s all your kids know so they don’t voice what they feel about something that’s become the norm. But I suspect they probably don’t appreciate being dragged pillar to post, new schools, never maintaining friendships, constant upheaval. I feel bad for them.

"How old are you dc? It's not very fair on them to be unsettled and move around A lot so you can get a thrill" judgmental much! Plenty of children have this sort of lifestyle and thrive on it. I did. Dad was army, lots of military families live like this, also diplomats families like my uncle and his family. I loved moving around, including overseas, making new friends, discovering new places. I'm now disabled unable to work and not being able to even go on holiday really gets me down.

Not saying all children like it but not all children like never moving or travelling either.

Equally I have a very dear friend who lives 2 streets from the home she lived in from when she was born, never holidays outside the uk and even does that very rarely - her choice and it suits her. I'm curious because it's so different to my experience but I would never negatively judge her. She has a very challenging male dominated career she is very successful in (unusually so for a woman in her career, even now) a happy marriage, and lovely DC.

Her sister married someone with a job that requires a lot of moving about and she loves it, just different personalities.

"I had a friend who moved every few years. I thought it showed a certain lack in her. why? Just because she was different? She'd been brought up like that with a father in the military then got a job that involved moving around. I think there's a certain fear of settling. You can't make friends properly if you're always thinking about your next move." I've made some amazing friends that have remained friends for over 30 years, some coming on 40. They have been hugely supportive through bereavement, divorce, serious illness/disability (me and dd). I have a few good friends where I am now but not been here long it takes time to develop but I'm perfectly capable of making and maintaining healthy friendships.

"It’s not good for your children to be moving so often; they need to learn to make long lasting relationships and you’re denying them that opportunity for a “thrill”." Says who?!

There are pros and cons to both lifestyles.

what I struggle to understand is people who are Middle aged and still in the town/village/city they were born in and have never ever lived anywhere else. How do you know how great the place you live is if you’ve never experienced anywhere else? We’ve been in the same place for over a decade now, to give the kids stability, so they can stay at the same schools etc..but in my twenties and early thirties we moved around a bit and have lived in four or five different counties. I think I’d always have a sense of a life unexplored if I’d stayed in the same place forever.

what I struggle to understand is people who are Middle aged and still in the town/village/city they were born in and have never ever lived anywhere else. How do you know how great the place you live is if you’ve never experienced anywhere else?

same shit - different surroundings - what does it matter?

There are some people who don't move around much geographically but do manage to have full, thoroughly-engaged lives. They might have a job that involves a lot of variety/excitement; they might be involved in some local activity or good cause, or they might have spent years perfecting some skill or area of expertise.

But, tbh, a lot of the people who never go anywhere and have no particular concerns apart from their house/garden/what's on TV are just.... inert and not very clever.

Being in my house. Away from the public. In my own space where I am happiest and can be my complete self. That's about as thrilling as I want or need thanks.

I moved back to the tiny place where I grew up. My dcs have gone to the same wee school I did. This is the place I belong.

I moved back to the tiny place where I grew up. My dcs have gone to the same wee school I did. This is the place I belong.

That sounds lovely. I genuinely envy you for that.

Other people will find it unadventurous or close minded or some such. I don't even like going on holiday for a fortnight. 10 days is about my limit.

I do love going on abroad / spending my holidays abroad (but there are a few favourite places for that as well, tbh... But I like to explore new ones as well.)

But I like the idea of genuinely belonging.