Pathetic rant but who ibu?

[Melonjelly]

Just been to a fairly large supermarket with dp and 2 dc. Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

We were in the veg aisle when I said to dp I need to pop to the loo, can you stay with the kids.

I went to the loo and was there for less than 2 mins. I come back to the veg aisle where I thought he would be. He's not there. I start scanning all the other veg aisles. No sign of him or kids. I traipse up the cooked meat aisle (we didn't need a lot of food, just a few bits and bobs). Again no sign of him. I walk up to the other end of the store to see if he's gone to get milk. Not there. I go to the bread aisle. Not there. I think to myself I wonder if he's taken the boys to look at toys to keep them distracted. I walked down the other end of the (large) shop. Not there. I go out of the store to see if he's making his way to the car. Nope.

I go back inside and search every aisle looking for him. Still no sign. I ring him. Supermarket is the worst for signal. If goes straight to vm. I try again. Straight to vm. I search around some more. Still can't see him. I try calling him twice more. Voicemail.

I go in front of the tills and search every single one. Not there. I eventually ring him and it gets through. He's at the doorway to the store, he's bought and paid the shopping. So ten to fifteen minutes I spent traipsing aisles searching for him.

He did the same last week and Again I spent a good ten minutes searching for him. When I eventually found him I said if I go to the loo can you please wait where you are so I can find you again.

So today I was fuming that he'd done it again.

He said 'dc2 was running off so I just wanted to get the shopping done and get out of there' so I said you'll have to put him in the trolley and teach the kids to wait so I can find you.

He said 'all you care about is ME ME ME, you're not bothered about what I want and the fact that the kids are hard work and I just wanted to get out of there'  to which I said you're missing the point, if you have waited I'd have been back in a couple of minutes. He's accused me of being selfish and asked me 'how hard is it to find me when you knew where I was going?' ??? Erm very considering I looked and looked again and you weren't fucking there you arsehole!!

So Who was being unreasonable! Even if you tell me I am it doesn't make him being a tosser any less of a tosser.

I still don't understand why you both had to go shopping with the DC

Why couldn't one of you take them to pick out their bedding?

Anyway, YABU. There is no way I would have just stood there whilst my partner went to the loo - why would you? If there were only a couple of things left to buy I would have just said see you at the car.

Yes MNers are definitely not always great at comprehension.

Threads often go, for example:

“I went to the shop with DD aged three and she had an ice cream”

And you see posts saying:

“Did you have DCs with you?”

“HOw old is DD?”

“Why didn’t you buy her something to eat?”

Actually cooked chicken is closer than milk to the veg aisle in this particular store. It took him about 15 mins to buy all the stuff inc bedding. Why are you still going on about it? Thought it was over and done with it is

Well it was approx 15 mins from when I went to the loo and left him at beg to me getting through to his phone for him to tell me he was at the door. I loitered at the front door for a couple of minutes whilst he would have been still inside the shop. The i went back in. Took about 15 mins in all. Don't ask how he managed to get through the till so quickly on a Saturday afternoon, I wasn't there so don't know the answer to that

He stormed through that place. He's a shopping extraordinaire.

 @PuppyMonkey it's so true! As if asking questions on repeat can alter the fact of the matter after the event

He doesn't fuck about when he goes shopping it's true. He eyes up the best tills and he does walk at a rather fast pace generally

I’d be more annoyed if my oh didn'tcontinue the shop while I was gone. Why would he just stand in the one spot doing nothing?
That said, I’ve never not been able to get through a grocery shop without peeing.
Why don’t you like him to continue the shop? YABU

I don't mind if he tells me where to meet him. I'm not a mind reader

But Mel why don’t you, knowing he’s shit at communicating, head it off by saying “where will you be when I get back?” or “shall I meet you by the tills” or whatever?

You’re the one going for a pee - making the extra communication necessary by splitting up the group. So onus is on you, I reckon?

YABU, you're an adult and can easily cope with not knowing where your DP is for a few minutes surely?

My DCs go to the toilet when I am shopping and come and find me without the need for mobile phones (as there is no signal and their phones are in their school bags anyway)

Pick your battles, this is not one of them Don't get me wrong, v frustrating when DH disappears around a supermarket and I can't find him, but ugh, he picked and paid for it, I couldn't be that mad tbh

Will try that in future. I'm not replying anymore on this thread. It's done and dusted. I'm having a good read of the creepy unexplainable things thread. That's some spooky business right there.

Melonjelly you are right ..... it’s a pathetic rant!

Shop online!

You wanted him to stand there with two dc? That's crazy. Why shouldn't he get on with the shopping while you're gone?
Incidentally why do entire families need to drag dc into the supermarket especially on a Saturday? Why can't one person stay at home and the other does the shopping? Why bring kids who'll run up and down aisles?

You say he's bad at communication and that you're not a mind-reader.

The same could kind of be said for you.

You just assumed he'd stay put while you went to the loo. Well, why would you assume that? He's not a mind reader, and you didn't communicate any instruction to him on what your preference was, so of course he continued shopping. Anyone would.

It was just one of those annoying things that happens in supermarkets/life, surely? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not worthy of a thread on MN. Seriously, the quality of thread on here is diminishing, what with the mundane tut some people post. Really not getting my money's with these days.

We’ve established YABU, OP.

So yes, you might as well leave it now.

Sheeeeeeeeeesh.

Just stop now op. The majority think yabu, clearly you don't think you are. Getting angry isn't going to change our minds.

Rule #1 of finding someone when you get separated: if you can't track them down almost immediately, stop walking around and stand in an obvious place so that they can find you. Otherwise you will both keep walking around and likely miss each other.

This applies whether it's a supermarket, the middle of Exmoor, or a music festival.

So YABU. Next time agree what is going to happen: are they waiting for you, or will you meet them at some other spot?

If he tells you where to meet him? You were both in the same supermarket, you hardly need a meeting place.

What a big deal over fuck all.

Its not a communication issue since you haven't mentioned any other problems except your (very it seems) weak bladder, and his ability to shop efficiently.

Lmao at comprehension tests. I think op has stopped don'ttickle.

I started a thread about this last year- whole family shopping trips and who the fuck does that. Cue a thousand replies about teaching kids to shop, they need to learn etc. It's my idea of hell and id rather chew my own toe nails off then do it. YABU.

Wasn't there a post about him not telling op he'd picked the kid up from after school club? And forgetting to pick him up as well one time?

That would drive me up the wall I'll admit.