Pathetic rant but who ibu?

[Melonjelly]

Just been to a fairly large supermarket with dp and 2 dc. Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

We were in the veg aisle when I said to dp I need to pop to the loo, can you stay with the kids.

I went to the loo and was there for less than 2 mins. I come back to the veg aisle where I thought he would be. He's not there. I start scanning all the other veg aisles. No sign of him or kids. I traipse up the cooked meat aisle (we didn't need a lot of food, just a few bits and bobs). Again no sign of him. I walk up to the other end of the store to see if he's gone to get milk. Not there. I go to the bread aisle. Not there. I think to myself I wonder if he's taken the boys to look at toys to keep them distracted. I walked down the other end of the (large) shop. Not there. I go out of the store to see if he's making his way to the car. Nope.

I go back inside and search every aisle looking for him. Still no sign. I ring him. Supermarket is the worst for signal. If goes straight to vm. I try again. Straight to vm. I search around some more. Still can't see him. I try calling him twice more. Voicemail.

I go in front of the tills and search every single one. Not there. I eventually ring him and it gets through. He's at the doorway to the store, he's bought and paid the shopping. So ten to fifteen minutes I spent traipsing aisles searching for him.

He did the same last week and Again I spent a good ten minutes searching for him. When I eventually found him I said if I go to the loo can you please wait where you are so I can find you again.

So today I was fuming that he'd done it again.

He said 'dc2 was running off so I just wanted to get the shopping done and get out of there' so I said you'll have to put him in the trolley and teach the kids to wait so I can find you.

He said 'all you care about is ME ME ME, you're not bothered about what I want and the fact that the kids are hard work and I just wanted to get out of there'  to which I said you're missing the point, if you have waited I'd have been back in a couple of minutes. He's accused me of being selfish and asked me 'how hard is it to find me when you knew where I was going?' ??? Erm very considering I looked and looked again and you weren't fucking there you arsehole!!

So Who was being unreasonable! Even if you tell me I am it doesn't make him being a tosser any less of a tosser.

I hope he got wine anyway, OP.

Oh wait dont tell me, he wouldn’t have checked his phone?

Calm the fuck down. Of this is all you have to be upset about... Jesus

You are both BU. Don't put yourselves in that situation where you know it's going to be stressful. And you could have taken the youngest with you when you go to the loo.

Make up and move on.

I got really annoyed about the after school club thing and the half term agreeing to work without checking thing, but I let it go. For some reason the supermarket bothers me a lot today, I think maybe cos the youngest was stressing me out and this just felt like another stressful thing I could have done without if that makes sense. I don't appreciate playing spot the family guy in the supermarket on a Saturday afternoon. I didn't even what to go in the first place but I presumed I'd be paying for the bedding as he makes a fuss over how much money he spends on shopping even though I pay the mortgage and all the bills.

As for drip feeding I didn't feel those other incidents were relevant to the what I was posting about anyway. But it boils down to a lack of communication but for some reason MN'ers have a hard time believing that anyone can get so wound up over it when it plays a large part in our relationship. Hence the other example were then given. I wouldn't have mentioned them otherwise.

Yeah we have made up. And no way would I take youngest to the loo with me if I didn't have to.

I am calm purplerobe. But thanks for your input.

God this thread is so over. Please delete it

15 minutes? Give over

Don't read it then purple.

Yup that long. No I won't give over because it's what happened. I'm only stating fact.

Unless your DP has quite an erratic shopping method i am not sure how you'd struggle to find someone in a supermarket for 15 minutes. Surely you just start at the end by the door and work your way down?

Yup I did that. I was presumably at one end of the store and him the other. So we missed each other. It happens

OP you sound overly stressed, and this thread just seems to be making you angry. I think maybe it's best you leave it now and find a way to relax this evening?

Oh and the time spent egging angry on this thread could have been spent doing and online shop...

It happens

Yes OP, it does happen. Move on now and forget about it.

This is why I don't take dh shopping, even if he offers to 'help'! I spend more time looking for him than I do shopping. It's really annoying, especially when he disappears with the trolley.

No not angry, as said we've made up and it's fine. Just replying to people. Like I said it happens.

I'm sorry I haven't read the full thread as the pattern of the OP asking if they were being unreasonable, being told by the majority that yes they were only for the OP to argue that they were not unreasonable really irks me. The majority of people think you were unreasonable...as do I. I'm struggling to understand the panic behind it, did you think your husband had run off with the kids?! You're an adult (I assume) in a supermarket with your partner..both have mobiles why on earth did you run around the shop in a panic rather than just wait by the car or by the door? You say it wasn't a big shop, your dh was dealing with the kids while you went to the loo and answered his phone when he had signal...where was the need for a complete panic?!

He did the right thing in continuing shopping and you are completely overreacting. Go to the toilet before you leave the house next time or do your shopping online and be grateful to your partner doing the shopping by himself.

Then read the thread if you must so I don't have to answer each point again. Or don't. It's up to you.

What irks me is when you get threads on MN and the op answers the questions as to what happened, who, when, where, what, how and why and then someone doesn't bother to read it and then asks the same bunch of questions again that have already been answered happens a lot on here

The not reading properly thing is true. melon - very irritating! I think there should be MN comprehension tests and reading bands...

He finished the shopping with 2 small children and got through the checkout in 2 minutes? Wow, that's amazing! I'd just send him on his own from now on if he's that efficient.

I think Violet would be a good candidate for that test

I think it's clear from my post it took him approx 15 mins 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Superman? Did I miss something? He bought bread, milk and chicken. Give him a round of applause.

He was in the veg aisle which is at the beginning of supermarket layout. Milk is next, then a few aisles later chicken (assuming fresh, if frozen much further on) bread is right at the other end. It was a Saturday afternoon so would've been packed. Till queues are usually at least 3 deep. It takes around 3 minutes to process a medium sized shop. So waiting in the queue alone would have taken I reckon at least 5 mins.

Also frankly if it takes you less than 2 mins total to visit loo and wash hands you're not washing your hands and drying them properly either.

All the other stuff you're annoyed at him for

A is irrelevant re this issue
B given how poorly you both communicated AND how irate you got not only with him but on the thread, seems you could do with some counselling/learning to communicate with each other better.