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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends DH broken loaned item

202 replies

welshmist · 09/02/2018 16:01

OH lent an electric meat slicer to a friend for a party, he broke it apparently, his DW has messaged us saying she has bought her DH a new one because he liked it so much, should she throw out our broken one. I paid £150 for the item as a present, I am annoyed that she is being so cavalier about this, DH says to say nothing but I feel bloody annoyed that it will cost us another £150 to replace it.

OP posts:
Onlyoldontheoutside · 10/02/2018 10:50

If the message was to your H and you 'know nothing about it',then can't you phone her,say you are having a party can you have your meat slicer back,or ask to borrow theirs as you no longer have one.If your H won't let you say much then this at least lets her know you think I a cheek.

damnsandra · 10/02/2018 10:52

Just ask?

Call and say - I'm worried that DH has got the wrong end of the stick, please tell me that he's wrong and that you are in fact going to replace the item?
I'm worried about his memory and that he's wrong - this forces the issue to be resolved either way.

bunbunny · 10/02/2018 10:55

doh! Time for me to go to the opticians for a check up methinks Grin

Having said that - even so, 67 is still relatively young to be getting quite that forgetful isn't it - or at least to start thinking about getting it checked out? These days most people of that age don't need special allowances made due to their failing memory unless they've been diagnosed with an illness that has caused problems...

SandAndSea · 10/02/2018 10:58

How about texting your female friend something like:

"I'm not sure what's going on re the meat slicer. Dh says you've bought a replacement. Can you let me know best time for me to collect it?"

Generally speaking, my rules for these things are to be as nice, honest and succinct as possible.

DriggleDraggle · 10/02/2018 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justilou1 · 10/02/2018 11:31

Could you not ask his wife for it back? Tell her you need it for something you've cooked.... Then you can kick off your own dialogue about having it replaced.

honeyroar · 10/02/2018 11:37

Ask if you can borrow theirs, then say you'll return it when they replace the broken one.

welshmist · 10/02/2018 12:16

Progress, apparently according to DH we have been told we can borrow theirs whenever we need it.

I also messaged them and asked what was wrong with it, seems the motor has gone. Now because it was expensive I may be lucky and get a replacement motor. Some firms e.g. Kenwood are marvellous with spares, so fingers crossed.

I suspect my own DH will not be lending out any other expensive items. He has been asked for his chain saws in the past said no and done the job for them. So we need to apply the same rule for everything.

OP posts:
RedDogsBeg · 10/02/2018 12:20

Are you going to ask the friends to pay for the replacement motor? They must have been running it constantly to burn out the motor.

welshmist · 10/02/2018 12:21

Driggle Draggle, I think the magimix is the one.

67 his friends of the same era are just as forgetful at his club. He can rebuild an engine, fixes friends boats can work on computers, it is selective forgetfulness. He has always been forgetful, my birthday is a mystery to him for one. He needs a shopping list for more than three items these days. I am not concerned re: alzheimers and dementia. I do think rather like ADHD we worry too much about these things.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/02/2018 12:35

I'd ask to borrow theirs, then tell them you broke it and keep it. Cheeky twats.

greathat · 10/02/2018 12:39

They've told your oh not you? Then message a breezy. Hi we need our meat slicer for next weekend, when can you drop it back please?

Gemini69 · 10/02/2018 12:58

that is NOT progress........ they're taking the absolute PISS ... FFS grow a pair and ask for your replacement Flowers

Graphista · 10/02/2018 13:05

Agree not progress - but you n dh giving in to these thieves.

But you must be able to afford throwing £150 away so your choice I guess

lurkingnotlurking · 10/02/2018 13:38

I can kind of see that they might not be inclined to pay fully to replace the machine if it broke down through normal wear and tear. But they should expect to give you its second hand value.

Pearlsaringer · 10/02/2018 13:49

I’m just aghast at this. In their position I would replace new for old, no question. It’s the polite thing to do. But that is why I never borrow things!

pictish · 10/02/2018 15:07

That’s not progress, it’s cementing the idea that they are more important and worthy than you. But whatever.

BubbaLips · 10/02/2018 15:18

cheeky fuckers

SkaPunkPrincess · 10/02/2018 17:26

I think it's not broken at all and they just want to keep it.

perfectstorm · 10/02/2018 17:30

But if they've not bought a new one, then surely they would be claiming to have binned the broken, not asking the OP if she wants it back?

Absolutely astonishing, the cheek of some people.

GnotherGnu · 10/02/2018 17:35

You really need to take communications out of your DH's hands to find out what the hell's going on. If a friend said to me "So sorry I broke the expensive piece of equipment you lent to me, but don't worry, I've bought one now and you can borrow it sometimes" I'd assume she was joking. If the situation really is as your DH describes, either your friends are batshit crazy, or he's told them the breakage isn't a problem. You're not going to find out without talking to the friends.

Giraffeelephantgrape · 10/02/2018 17:36

I would not let them get away with this. Don't be mugs, they are taking the piss

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/02/2018 17:36

Get yours back, borrow theirs once it is out of warantee, swap motors. Job done.

MissSeventies · 10/02/2018 17:37

OP please tell me you have now asked her if she is taking the proverbial p**s? "Hello friend we have broken your expensive item, but don't worry we our buying ourselves a lovely new one. Do you want yours put in the bin? Oh and don't worry you cam borrow our new one whenever you like". There are CFs and there is this woman. Flip if it was me I woukc be tempted to flat out tell her she was being a CF.

pollymere · 10/02/2018 17:43

Say that you hadn't liked to ask them to replace it as you didn't think it polite for such an expensive item but you're very grateful that they've somehow found the money to replace something that was a present and highly valued item. (Unless yours was getting old and knackered).

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