Friends DH broken loaned item

[welshmist]

OH lent an electric meat slicer to a friend for a party, he broke it apparently, his DW has messaged us saying she has bought her DH a new one because he liked it so much, should she throw out our broken one. I paid £150 for the item as a present, I am annoyed that she is being so cavalier about this, DH says to say nothing but I feel bloody annoyed that it will cost us another £150 to replace it.

Do you really think asking for a replacement will escalate into a huge public spat, with your complete social circle expected to take sides, op?
What very peculiar people you mix with. You appear to fit right in.

How old is the item?

the key thing, absolutely key thing is, did they break it or did it break?

Are you in contact with either of them at other times? Next time you bump into her, or indeed him, just ask - what actually happened with the meat slicer, did you try to kill someone with it?! with a tinkly little laugh but piercing eyes which miss nothing.....

Reply you can throw the broken one away if you like, when are you bringing out new one around?

Thanks

I think your DH needs to stop loaning things, first of all. And secondly, he needs to stop moaning about it. Next time, remind him that you paid for it, not him and if anyone is pissed off about it, it's you.

He won't let you? Do you ask permission to go to the toilet too?

It may be the friends are not the problem and he's blaming them to cover himself. That's a dick move towards them and towards you.

But you'll never know unless you send one of the excellent texts suggested upthread.

So you want to know the facts, ask your dh to stop moaning about it and tell you truthfully what happened, then ask the other side for their version of events. These people are supposed to be friends of yours you shouldn't be running scared of them you should be able to hold a reasonable, adult conversation with them, if you can't and you are afraid of their reactions then they really aren't friends are they? Why waste time being submissive and supplicant to people who think so little of you?

The thing is he is 67 (grumpy old man) quite a bit older than me and his memory isn`t great these days, so stuff I would once have argued about to the death I now let slide. He also has some health issues.

your 'friends' sound like DICKS and not actually friends ...

I can't believe actually can't believe they've not offered to replace!!

My dad's 72, has a number of health problems and my mum would hand him arse on a plate before she'd watch £150 wander off the ranch - he'd have two options. Sort it out himself or she will.

He has form for fantastically complex cover up stories, even about daft things - cracking a glass from a 4 for a £1 set is one of his best - then blaming others (often me. I hadn't been in the house since before said glasses were purchased).

He now knows it's better to sort things out before he gets rumbled by people comparing notes.

Well you've got two choices:

Find out what happened by talking to your husband and 'friends' and make a decision depending on that.

Put up and shut up and tell your husband to do the same.

In future don't buy your husband stuff that he is likely to lend to friends who place no value on it.

Can't you have a conspiratorial talk with the DW of the friend? 'DH has gone all mysterious about our meat slicer. Do you know what's up?'

Tell him you'd prefer it if he stopped lending things to people if he's not comfortable with asking for them back in one piece.

These sort of threads get right on my tits.

OP posts asking AIBU and explains the situation.

Lots of people respond all saying 'no, your friends are cf's (I agree they are).

OP then continues to reply and defend the situation.

What's the point in even asking the question?

Can't you have a conspiratorial talk with the DW of the friend? 'DH has gone all mysterious about our meat slicer. Do you know what's up?'

^^^
This!

Ask for it back. If DH is being mysterious then you can claim ignorance about knowing it was broken. When you get told it's broken and they tossed it, ask them what they think they should do about it.

Simple.

Really we'd like it back in the working state it was lent in so if you could get that sorted it would be great. Thanks.

57 sounds pretty young for his memory to be not so great to this extent - does he realise it and/or is something that he is using as an excuse for getting out of awkward situations? Or is it something you have noticed but he hasn't? If it's the latter then maybe you should get him to the doctor to get him checked out. Although he may be a fair bit older than you, 57 isn't at all old - his faculties should all be working just fine!

Next time he mentions it just tell him that if he mentions it again you will talk to them and get to the bottom of the situation and get the ruddy thing back. Win-win. Either he shuts up and doesn't mention it again. Or more likely he mentions it and you talk to them and get it back. If he tries to say no I forbid you, just talk to him like a toddler - don't be so ridiculous. I told you if you moaned again I would sort it out. You moaned again so I'm glinting to sort it out.

I don’t think your DH ever actually wanted the meat slicer.
Who wants or needs a £150 meat slicer? I reckon he has sold his to his friend, who is pretending that it is a new one.

bunbunny He's 67 not 57.

Was it half broken already?

What exactly do you want from this thread OP if you can't take any of the advice given?

Meat slicers do not cost £150.