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Original poster

Friends DH broken loaned item

202 replies

welshmist · 09/02/2018 16:01

OH lent an electric meat slicer to a friend for a party, he broke it apparently, his DW has messaged us saying she has bought her DH a new one because he liked it so much, should she throw out our broken one. I paid £150 for the item as a present, I am annoyed that she is being so cavalier about this, DH says to say nothing but I feel bloody annoyed that it will cost us another £150 to replace it.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 09/02/2018 17:18

So they borrowed yours, loved it bought their own then broke yours? Wtf they should be replacing yours no question

yrhengi · 09/02/2018 17:19

So they broke it before Christmas? And have at no point between then and now emailed/phoned to apologise for breaking it? Just to tell you that they're getting themselves one?

I also wonder if there's a missing piece of information involving your DH...

SheRasBra · 09/02/2018 17:22

If your DH doesn't want a confrontation, is it possible that when they broke it they said to him that they would replace it and he's said, "Oh, don't worry about it, it was old etc." and they took him at his word.

A good friend would insist on replacing, especially when they found out how much it was.

Idontevencareanymore · 09/02/2018 17:22

I'd be telling dh to put up and shut up if he's not going to do anything about it.
Really not getting why it's your problem.

Hortonlovesahoo · 09/02/2018 17:27

I’d be firm with your DP. Either he has to say: no, we want the broken one replaced or he stops chewing your ear about it.

Personally, I’d text the wife with what others have said about needing it back and don’t mind if it’s repaired or replaced but you need it back.

Serialweightwatcher · 09/02/2018 17:29

That's disgusting behaviour and your DP is being ridiculous - of course they should replace it - it was a present from you and not a cheap one either Hmm

GnotherGnu · 09/02/2018 17:29

What did they say when they told you they broke it? I find it difficult to believe that they just said something to the effect of "By the way, we broke your meat slicer, too bad, never mind."

yrhengi · 09/02/2018 17:35

Is it an actual meat slicer? Like on a deli counter? Or an electric carving knife?

I know this is a minor detail but whenever I see 'meat slicer' I see something out of Open All Hours, and someone in a brown coat slicing up a big Yorkshire ham, surrounded by eager dinner party guests.

KurriKurri · 09/02/2018 17:35

'Just in time as we are planning our next sausage fest'

You are already dealing with miscommunication and crossed wires with these people, please don't tell them you are having a sausage fest.

Jux · 09/02/2018 17:35

Of course you can reply! She broke something you paid for and you will be the one replacing it. It's family income and impacts on all of you. Just ask her nicely. She should have got one for you & dh before she got one for her dh.

Rude people. Tinkers.

RedDogsBeg · 09/02/2018 17:35

Little wonder people get away with outrageous behaviour when people like the OP's dh are so weak and craven.

If neither you nor your dh are prepared to do anything about this for fear of upsetting the other couple then neither of you can claim to be upset nor grumble or rant on about it. If your dh mentions it again tell him straight it's his own fault and you are not interested in hearing about it and DO NOT replace it yourself your dh will have to go without or save up himself.

kissmethere · 09/02/2018 17:38

Are you absolutely loaded that this is a pebble in a pond to you? Seriously. He's broken an expensive item and your DH is being a wuss about it. It's just so rude that they haven't replaced it. No one does this!
Is a text saying your replacement is on the way anticipated? If not I'd be calling them and saying not to throw it away until they have noted the make and model to order your new one. CFs to the max here.

Appuskidu · 09/02/2018 17:39

This is a great opportunity for some missed communication! Send them a message saying something like "Hi CF, DH mentioned to me that you got us a replacement for the meat slicer you broke. Just in time as we are planning our next sausage fest! When can I pop by and pick it up? I am in the area..." This will force them to confirm their CF status at which point you can put your foot down directly and forcefully.

This.

Failing that, if your DH is so pathetic that he won’t do anything about it, won’t let you do anything about it yet is still whinging....LTB.

Rainbunny · 09/02/2018 17:51

OP why are you so scared to show justified displeasure at these people? Do you honestly care that they might turn this into a big fight? I can't imagine any normal person on the planet not being disgusted at people who would borrow an expensive item, break it and not buy a replacement (but then buy themselves one and bost about it!). I think that's universally agreed to be shitty behaviour so I can't see how they would get people to take their side on this.

I wouldn't make it a big thing, I would contact her and ask politely that she replaces the item they broke. If she pushes back (and I'd love to know what her justification would be for not replacing something they broke!!) then I would politely make it clear that I'm unhappy and have nothing to do with her in future. It's not the money, it's the clear lack of basic respect they are showing you. They don't care what you think, why should you want to associate with people like this? I wouldn't worry about your kids either, they will sort themselves and their friendship out.

The only thing I can imagine they might say as an excuse is that your electric knife was old anyway? Or the fact that it broke meant that it was on its last legs? Even so...

CoraPirbright · 09/02/2018 17:55

"Not sure if I'm understanding - is the new one for us or do you think you can get ours repaired?" From SunAndSand.

This or the missed communications one detailed above. How on earth they can think this is ok is utterly beyond me.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 09/02/2018 17:56

Dear god, reply..... Say, I am you have bought us a new meat slicer, I was worried it was going to get awkward.. these things can do sometimes, can't they? Let me know when you want to drop it round... I don't know if you want to get the broken one fixed for yourself maybe.. up to you?

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 09/02/2018 17:56

Your DH needs to man up, I'd be embarrassed of him, if I were you.
I would have to say something.
People who act like doormats, get walked on.
Show your DH this thread.

Nomorechickens · 09/02/2018 18:02

Ask for the broken one back. Borrow their new one. Tell them you broke it and would they like the broken one back? Keep the new one. What can they say?

Original poster
welshmist · 09/02/2018 18:05

The thing with OH is that I am not sure I am getting all the facts. He has known it was broken for ages. He has made it clear I am not to mention it to them, that alone usually means that there is more to it than meets the eye. So if I go off on one, I need to be cognizant of all the facts. I have heard nothing directly. Sheesh it is a mess. It was a loan, broken I can only think motor burnt out. I did not even know he had lent it because I would not have been happy about it. Last time he lent it out, someone else broke a knob off it which he managed to fix.

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 09/02/2018 18:05

Try agains text is perfect

Pearlsaringer · 09/02/2018 18:09

Don't replace it. If DH thinks he can live without it, let him. But at the first hint that he wants another one, remind him that he wouldn't let you raise this with the CF who broke it.

Oblomov18 · 09/02/2018 18:11

He needs to do something. Thus is not ok.

TonTonMacoute · 09/02/2018 18:12

Your ‘friend’ has the cheek of ten arses!

Brilliant. I can’t wait for an opportunity to use this expression!

Wineandrosesagain · 09/02/2018 18:13

Well, Op, if you're not willing to say anything and DH's not willing to say anything then your CF "friends" can happily enjoy their new meat slicer and you and DH can silently seethe. Alternatively, you could send a quick text. Bit of a no-brainer to me Confused

Annwithnoe · 09/02/2018 18:13

Sounds to me like your DH told his friend not to worry about it, but is scared to admit that to you, so he’s making out that they are CFs.
If it’s still under warranty collect it and sort it out yourself, and if it’s out of warranty then it’s a wee bit grabby to expect a new one.
But honestly I’d be more concerned that my partner didn’t feel he could be honest with me than about a meat slicer. There’s a trust and communication problem there.