Women working out of the home condem other women

[restofthetimes]

....to caring for their children. For low pay. (Albeit very expensive childcare for the end user? ie a working couple one of whose wages possibly only just covers childcare fees.... leaving them with effectively one income again)

This is the reality. The number of men caring for the children hasn’t gone up as the number of women working out of the home has.

In an ideal world, would there be an equal number of sahds to sahms? Or should we force more men into paid childcare jobs. I don’t know the statistics, but it seems men just don’t want to work in that area. So women bear the brunt again.

It all seems weird .

Why is it that 'women working' condemns other women to low-pay, but 'fathers working' doesn't?

My OH and I earn about the same salary. We both enjoy our careers and want to continue with them. So we put the kids in nursery 3 days a week. Why am I condemning those nursery workers to low pay, but my husband isn't?

My OH was a SAHD for a year at one point. When he went back to work, was he condemning others to low-pay to look after our child, or was it still somehow my fault?

Or (and this only happens on MN).,"How DARE you facilitate a man - and give him all that unfair advantage over women in the workplace"

NeverTwerkNaked
It’s a bit much for you to be lecturing on “respect” after trotting out a load of judgmental nonsense about “strangers” and “institutions

Stranger - meaning employee / non-family. Factual
Institutions - can you show me where I used that word?

Stranger isn’t a factual description it is a loaded one. they fast become friends, like family even. Indeed my children’s family are far flung. My daughter calls her preschool friends and teachers “my other flamileee”.
She would roar with laughter at the idea they are strangers. They bring a huge amount of joy and fun into her life. I would send her even if I didn’t work (indeed most of my SAHM friends send their children to preschool a similar number of hours)

That sounds wonderful NeverTwerk. All I am asking is that WOHM please don't mock, belittle, question, demean or condescend to me for making a choice to be a SAHM. I came on here to share my experience that this kind of treatment is only ever meted out by women onto other women and it stinks.

well maybe a good starting point would be to use respectful non-loaded language when discussing WOHMs likes then francine . treat others as you wish to be treated and all that.
I am certainly not disrespectful of sahm. Indeed I can see both sahm and wohm can provide great lives for their children. I feel privileged to be able to plonk my bum firmly on the fence and work school hours a few days a week and then the rest when the children are asleep. both options can be great, both can result in happy confident children. Shrieky language about “strangers” just displays a total lack of empathy

It’s worth noting that it also only ever seems to be “other women” that spout nonsense about “strangers” and “wanted to raise my children myself” ...

If on of the employees (I think you called them "Key Workers" up thread) reaigned and was replaced, would that new Key Worker not be a "stranger" to your child?

NeverTwerkNaked
It’s worth noting that it also only ever seems to be other women that spout nonsense about wanted to raise my children myself

Why is it nonsense if someone wants to raise their own children themselves?

Because all parents raise their children, whether or not they work francine

And they wouldn’t remain a stranger for long would they. You seem to be determined to see this as some kind of disastrous arrangement .

Why is it nonsense (your word) if I chose to spend the majority of my children's waking hours (before they started school) with them myself rather than paying someone else to do this for me?

I am not criticising you. Why do you call my choices nonsense?

I’m not calling your choices nonsense. I am calling your language nonsense. Because you spouted the stupid “raise my children myself” nonsense. All parents raise their children. Even those who work full time. Or do dads not raise their children

I do wonder why so many people go to work when they have nothing or negligible amounts left over after childcare. What's the point?

Oh I don't know.....

1. to keep your hand it at your career until DCs go to school, certain ones are difficult with a break because you need to keep up to date with current practise/legislation etc?

2. to keep your NI contributions up to date so that your state pension is not affected?

3. because some people (myself included) would be driven to insanity with not much to do but amuse a small person and little to no adult interaction?

Oh it's that time again.

Tarra is that recent thread? I need to read that and have a weep.

NeverTwerkNaked
I am calling your language nonsense. Because you spouted the stupid “raise my children myself” nonsense. Do dads not raise their children?

My husband leaves the house at 5:30 am each weekday morning and doesn't get home until 6pm. During the weekday waking hours, before they went to school, I raised my own children myself.

What is nonsense about that language?

FartyMcLetFly
because some people (myself included) would be driven to insanity with not much to do but amuse a small person and little to no adult interaction?

But you don't mind somebody else being paid to "amuse a small person"?
Is the "sanity" of paid childcare workers somehow less precious or risky than yours?

i bet he’s thrilled to know you consider he took no part in raising his children.

Plus you are rather assuming all working parents work as he did. My children only ever did a maximum of 18 hours at preschool in a week, term time only. The rest their Dad and I did between us. I am totally confident I “raised” my children too. Did yours miss out on preschool then? Most children I know go even if there mums are Sahm? Or are those sahm not “raising” their children either?

I had a friend who said she didn't understand having dc and then having someone else raise them (by putting in childcare).

I personally feel I have the best of both worlds with dc at CM who treats them like family (now "raising", I mean minding dd2 also) and working flexible so I spend a good amount of time with dc and keeping my career going.

My friend's dc behaviour is pretty poor due to her parenting and school was a big struggle for her eldest having to learn no and social boundaries.

There are good and bad sides to every story.

If I won the lottery I'd quit my job but it's really important to me to be financially secure.

NeverTwerkNaked
I bet he’s thrilled to know you consider he took no part in raising his children

When did I say "took no part"? He is out at work from 5:30am until 6pm. During those waking, working, weekday hours I raised my own children myself (before they went to school).

Make sense??

If I won the lottery I'd quit my job but it's really important to me to be financially secure

We are nowhere near lottery winner level of financial security. We just cut our suit according to our cloth.

That's you Francine

I want to be able to give my dc opportunities I received, I want to be able to help them when they have dc, help to buy a house. Things that cost money.

Being at home but being poor or 'cutting my cloth accordingly' would be miserable imho.

To be clear I'm not saying your poor Francine! I'm talking about my situation/feelings on the matter.

Well I am not criticising WOHMs. I am just asking other women to stop telling me what I do is nonsense.

No one has said it is nonsense! I used the word nonsense in relation to the language you used. not your choices. I have already explained that once. You seem determined to find insults where there aren’t any.