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AIBU?

To think these parents should be hauled over the coals for this

265 replies

Dustysparrow · 08/02/2018 09:46

A teenage girl was given highlights for her birthday by her mum - subtle ones - and when she returned home from a visit to see her father and stepmother they had cut off all of her hair as they disapproved. She has literally about 1-2 cm of hair length left on her head. She had long hair before.

Here's the link: uk.yahoo.com/style/father-chops-off-daughter-hair-124424056.html

AIBU to think this is a form of child abuse to do this to somebody against their will??? What a cruel, hateful thing thing to do to a child.

OP posts:

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readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 10:58

I thought the wig was twotone...

Viviennemary · 08/02/2018 10:58

If they did it against the girl's will then it is assault. I read that ages ago. I hope they get punished. Monsters.

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 08/02/2018 10:59

Also, it's definitely the same girl in the before and after pics - she's wearing the same green hoodie.

ChuffMuffin · 08/02/2018 11:00

To the posters asking why she'd sat through the haircut, it says in the article that the dad and the stepmum actually gave her the haircut, as in they didn't take her somewhere to get it done. I wonder if maybe they'd cut a chunk of it out in a rage and then the daughter had no choice but to cut the rest off? It does look like whoever's done the cut did a shitty job. Looks like the sides at the back have been done with clippers on a high grade.

Poor girl :(

Taylor22 · 08/02/2018 11:01

Just because the father has custody does not mean the mother is abusive or incompetent etc.

America is very pro 50/50 at leads now. It could be the mum needed to move in which case the child stays. Or the mums job meant the Dad was home more.

Viviennemary · 08/02/2018 11:03

Wondering now if this is even true. Strange how face is hidden in the new photo. I think it's a hoax.

RadioGaGoo · 08/02/2018 11:03

Surely it would be so easy to disprove this story if the father and step mother hadn't cut her hair?

SweetMoon · 08/02/2018 11:04

That poor girl. That father has ruined any respect his daughter may have had for him. Her hair looked lovely. What a horrible horrible man and step mother.

PortiaCastis · 08/02/2018 11:05

I think the whole thing is a hoax as well

Tarraleaha · 08/02/2018 11:05

PoorYorick
Yes, it's really the mum who is wrong, not the child... Jeez ,I stand by what I wrote. My English might not be as good as if I was a native English speaker, but you are just clearly trying to pick up on my post to make me say what I did not.

RadioGaGoo · 08/02/2018 11:07

If its not the same girl I'm the two pictures, they are wearing the same hoodie. The black wig she is wearing is two toned. Other pictures back this up.

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:07

I think the style is nice, shame if she doesn't like it but abuse?

If it's true, then yes, absolutely abuse. Forced hair cutting/head shaving is known to be used as a tactic for humiliation and intimidation, because it bloody works. An extreme example is the terrible suffering of chemo patients who lose their hair. They always say they feel it's wrong because at least they're alive and hair is just vanity and all that, but it's not the case.

Humans lay a lot of stock and identity in their hair, even if by choosing to cut it very short or shave it. Like lion manes and peacock tails.

Tarraleaha · 08/02/2018 11:07

On another note, I do not condone the hair cut.

I can't help noticing once again the double standard: we find it unacceptable to get our daughters hair cut, but it is perfectly fine to get our boys hair cut and force them to have short hair.

ReanimatedSGB · 08/02/2018 11:10

Well, no, it isn't acceptable to force a boy to keep his hair short, just because you're a homophobic, sexist arsehole. My son has long hair (because he wants his hair long) and anyone pestering about how it needs to be cut gets put in their place pretty firmly.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/02/2018 11:10

How on earth did they physically get her to sit down to that hair cut?

sashh · 08/02/2018 11:12

I'm amazed the girl sat and had her hair cut like that/didn't try to ring her mum to stop it happening. Mine wouldn't.

Believe me if you have a controlling parent you sit still, they are going to do it anyway so you sit still and hope they leave you some hair.

My mum cut my hair the day before I started high school, it included a 'fringe' about 1 inch long.

WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo · 08/02/2018 11:13

FWIW, the mum has now posted a face-forward pic on her FB page that shows the girl has most definitely got short hair now.

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 11:13

For those that are saying why would the girl allow it to happen, understand that if you area scared of a parent, you will do as you are told.

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:14

Yes, it's really the mum who is wrong, not the child... Jeez ,I stand by what I wrote. My English might not be as good as if I was a native English speaker, but you are just clearly trying to pick up on my post to make me say what I did not.

What? You didn't mention the kid at all. You compared the parents. "The dad is horrible and completely out of order to punish the poor kid that way, when really it was the mother who was at fault."

This is quite explicitly saying that the mother is more to blame than the father. Which means that what she did (getting highlights) was worse than what he did (cutting the hair).

English may not be your first language, but this is quite explicitly what the words that you used mean. You blame the mother more than the father. I don't know why you've suddenly introduced the kid now.

Perhaps you didn't actually mean this because you're not a native English speaker, but it's explicitly what you said. Taking it as it actually reads isn't me being a dick.

paddypants13 · 08/02/2018 11:15

Nobody's said it's acceptable to force boys to have short hair.

My ds is two, he has short hair because at the moment I care for it and he is too young to express an opinion on it. When he is old enough to say how he would like his hair then he'll have it how he wants. My dd is 5 and has short hair because that's how she wants it. She asks the hairdressers to cut it "as short as her daddy's".

I think there is more to this than it first seems but assuming the story is factual I agree it is assault and child abuse. Poor lass.

Blackteadrinker77 · 08/02/2018 11:15

I was early teens (13-14) when I lost my hair due to health reasons. it is horrendous. The stares when you're at an age where you are very self conscious any way.

I don't know how a parent can do that. Playing devils advocate that the Mum and child knew that the Dad was very anti hair dye his reaction was still abuse imo.
There is no excuse for what he did, none at all.

Tarraleaha · 08/02/2018 11:15

ReanimatedSGB none of my local schools accept boys with long hair, and I completely agree with them. I don't allow my sons to have long hair anyway, I was just pointing out that no one would raise an eyebrow if I was forcing even a boy toddler in a barber's chair, whilst there would be an uproar if it was a girl.

I am not a homophobic sexist arsehole, but you are very rude!

suzy2b · 08/02/2018 11:16

I once had a friend who hacked at her hair with nail scissors and it looked really good i thought she had been to the hair dressers

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:16

Right hang on. I think I see what you meant now. My apologies. I still disagree that the mother's done anything wrong in taking her child to have some subtle highlights done.

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 11:17

sashh My mother cut mine off because it was longer than my sisters (her favourite child) and she didn't like it. Sisters mistake was to refuse ever to go to the hairdressers because she wanted longer hair than me. I went often (as the kids magazines told me to, to get healthy hair!) and M paid because it was getting trimmed, and my hair grew only and thick. Sister's seemed to stop growing at all... so M solved the "problem" of mine being longer by cutting it all off.

I didn't stop her, I daren't. As you say, you just hope they will leave you some hair at all.

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