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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think these parents should be hauled over the coals for this

265 replies

Dustysparrow · 08/02/2018 09:46

A teenage girl was given highlights for her birthday by her mum - subtle ones - and when she returned home from a visit to see her father and stepmother they had cut off all of her hair as they disapproved. She has literally about 1-2 cm of hair length left on her head. She had long hair before.

Here's the link: uk.yahoo.com/style/father-chops-off-daughter-hair-124424056.html

AIBU to think this is a form of child abuse to do this to somebody against their will??? What a cruel, hateful thing thing to do to a child.

OP posts:
Tarraleaha · 08/02/2018 16:31

If someone is accused of child abuse or assault, that would be fair grounds for a suspension.
as much as nonsense law suits by disgruntled employees annoy me, I would support any claim from anyone suspended or sacked because of allegations made by their ex or anyone for that matter! This is going from farcical to complete nonsense. I am all for protecting kids who need protection.

However, disagreeing with UNPROVEN claims against parenting choices from a father, even a firefighter, is nowhere near enough to stop him from doing his job!

I have got rid of a few people in my career so far, even a couple of pregnant women who did not took it well, but using a facebook post from an ex-wife is taking it a step too far.

BrieAndChilli · 08/02/2018 16:35

My mum made me have all my hair cut off when I was 12 or 13 as a punishment, it has scarred my for life. It was awful and humiliating and I’ve never forgiven her (there was a million other things I can’t forgive her for, some much worse)
It is a form of assault and definitely child abuse to do it to a teenager with other wise good hair (eg not matted and full of lice for example)

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 16:38

Tarraleaha You don't know that "a facebook post from an ex-wife" is why they were suspended!

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 16:46

oops, I'm obviously not allowed to post the FB links. Shame, it gave a fuller picture.

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 16:46

However, disagreeing with UNPROVEN claims against parenting choices from a father, even a firefighter, is nowhere near enough to stop him from doing his job!...using a facebook post from an ex-wife is taking it a step too far

Well if it's true, I think it goes far beyond a 'parenting choice'. A parenting choice is whether or not to allow the child to get highlights. Forcibly cutting off nearly all her hair to punish her is not.

According to reports, the police and children's services are now involved. (There is a direct quote from the named police chief, so I'm prepared to accept that's true.)

That means the suspension is based on more than just a Facebook post. If the police and children's services are involved in an allegation of child abuse or assault....yes, suspension is necessary.

Tarraleaha · 08/02/2018 16:46

I don't know if any of it is true, just putting the whole thing in the same bag. The father has been remarkably quiet, I applaud him for that. Not entering in a social media fight is the best thing he can do.

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 16:48

If he's under investigation for child abuse, staying silent is by far the smartest thing to do and probably what his solicitor has advised.

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 16:55

The father may have had legal advice to keep quiet. I suspect lawyers are involved by now (for the father and stepmother).

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 16:56

Oh, sorry Yorick. X post, didn't see yours.

Ivymaud · 08/02/2018 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FingersCrossedHard · 09/02/2018 07:19

They've now set up a Go Fund Me page with over £2k raised so far...hmm, that didn't take long Hmm. There's far more to this than meets the eye IMO.

mommytoboo86 · 09/02/2018 09:50

my mother did similar too me wen I was 10. I had beautifully thick hair down past my bum. She hated the fact I could grow my hair so long and 1 day I think I'd given her some cheek and she cut it herself while it was still in a plait. I fought with all I had but didn't stand a chance. she then had to take me to the hairdressers 2 sort out the mess and it ended up just slightly longer than this girls hair. Not only did it traumatise me but the bullying at school was horrible. I looked like a boy and for me my hair is me! Thankfully after that my dad got me out of there but my hair (even 22 years later) has never been the same.

when it comes to accusations of child abuse I think people will find that there is no such thing as innocent until proven guilty, plus as the fire chief would have all facts the suspension is the best course of action in his view.

why are the mothers parenting abilities being called into question? my best friend is a social worker but her daughter lives with her dad... the reason is that while married she moved away from her family but once divorced she needed to move back however daughter had just started year 10 and would have struggled with the upheaval.

Also, it doesn't matter if this is a publicity thing cos she wants her daughter back living with her, if this is the sort of abuse the poor girl experiences but nobody is listening then danm right any mother (or father) should do everything in their power to get their dd out of there, including going public!

Ivymaud · 09/02/2018 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

readysteadyteddy · 09/02/2018 10:38

Is this a new gofundme or the one that was shut down? I can't find one at all...

The father was arrested for Domestic Violence last year. Don't know if I'm allowed to post the link to the police site.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 11/02/2018 22:02

I’d be fuming. What an awful thing to do. I'd go as far as never speaking to him again if I was the girl.

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