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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think these parents should be hauled over the coals for this

265 replies

Dustysparrow · 08/02/2018 09:46

A teenage girl was given highlights for her birthday by her mum - subtle ones - and when she returned home from a visit to see her father and stepmother they had cut off all of her hair as they disapproved. She has literally about 1-2 cm of hair length left on her head. She had long hair before.

Here's the link: uk.yahoo.com/style/father-chops-off-daughter-hair-124424056.html

AIBU to think this is a form of child abuse to do this to somebody against their will??? What a cruel, hateful thing thing to do to a child.

OP posts:
readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 11:40

FFS it's not the length of the hair POLITICALLY!

It doesn't matter whether it was long hair cut short or short hair extended to make it long (IYSWIM) the girl had bits cut off her that she didn't want cut off. That's disgusting. She's a teenager, she was bullied by her father and stepmother.

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 11:41

Very angry about the politicising of this on here! It's her hair, her choice, not a vehicle to get your bloody views across.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/02/2018 11:41

granny
Long hair for girls/women is more fashionable than short hair at the moment. I don’t think it’s about brainwashing. More about fitting in.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 08/02/2018 11:41

Slow news week on Fox eh?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/02/2018 11:41

It’s a bloody ugly haircut if you don’t like it want it and it makes you feel crap.

Tarraleaha · 08/02/2018 11:42

A haircut is abuse?
well, if you have very long hair, then your husband decides to drag you to the hairdresser against your will and get it all chopped Hally Berry style (or cut it himself).. then yes, you would think it is abuse, wouldn't you.

It's a difficult line between imposing some choices on our children, we all do, and going too far. I wouldn't call a forced hair cut on a kid abuse as such, but when it's because 2 parents are fighting it's pretty bad.

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:42

Maybe we need to be telling out daughters that they are more than their hair?

Yes but at the same time we should not be telling them that it is therefore all right for other people to cut it off against their will.

Do you honestly not understand why a young girl in our society, who likes to wear her hair long and obviously takes good care of it, would be devastated to have it cut off against her will? And why she'd be entirely in the right to feel that way?

My hair's not very long and looks like shit but it's mine.

grannytomine · 08/02/2018 11:42

And used as a pawn by her mother, if your daughter came home with a hair do you didn't like would you put her on facebook and encourage her to view it as some great tragedy or would you say, "It's different but short hair is nice, anyway it will grow."

Both parents using this girl.

MuseumOfCurry · 08/02/2018 11:42

A haircut is abuse?

In this particular context, given that she's a teenage girl who obviously attached some importance to her hair - it's abusive.

To say nothing of the fact that in the Midwest, this haircut is code for lesbian - try viewing that through the prism of a teenage girl.

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 11:43

Granny, you are telling people they are brainwashed. How the fuck do you know what they are? YOU might have been brainwashed, I wasn't. Get over yourself.

grannytomine · 08/02/2018 11:44

I've had haircuts of my own free will and been devestated at the result but we need to keep it in proportion. It is hair, it will grow, it isn't the end of the world. Will everyone be happy if all this fuss makes her so depressed she tries to kill herself?

MuseumOfCurry · 08/02/2018 11:45

I agree, Granny, you need to lay down your delusions of superiority. There is no defense of this man's actions. I don't agree with the social media campaign, but I'm not in her shoes.

grannytomine · 08/02/2018 11:45

readysteadyteddy you don't think it is brainwashing to tell girls that long hair = beauty? How cruel is that to girls, like an earlier poster, who lose their hair or girls who have really fine brittle hair they can't manage to grow?

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:46

I've had haircuts of my own free will and been devestated at the result but we need to keep it in proportion. It is hair, it will grow, it isn't the end of the world.

Don't you get it? The problem isn't that it's just hair. It's that if this is all true, her father cut it off when she didn't want him to. Her bodily autonomy was violated, as a punishment for exercising it.

Do you really not understand that the problem here is not feminine vanity or society? It's a simple case of child abuse. As a PP said, you wouldn't say punching her is OK because the bruises will heal!

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 11:46

grannytomine Not even biting Granny.

grannytomine · 08/02/2018 11:47

I agree, Granny, you need to lay down your delusions of superiority. Oh my God, how hilarious.

Has it occurred to you that maybe she was happy to have her hair cut and got home and her mum went mental? You don't know them, you are jumping on the mother's bandwagon. Hope you have a lovely ride.

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:47

readysteadyteddy you don't think it is brainwashing to tell girls that long hair = beauty?

I think it's brainwashing to tell them 'strong men can do what they like to your looks. If you object, you're a victim of vanity and brainwashing.'

Anyway, well kept, thick and swishy long hair IS beautiful, on men or women.

MuseumOfCurry · 08/02/2018 11:47

This reply has been deleted

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NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/02/2018 11:47

She’s a teenager. To teens stuff like that is incredibly important.

ReanimatedSGB · 08/02/2018 11:48

Yup, cutting someone's hair against their wishes is abusive. And if you have a son who wants to keep his hair long and the school insists that he has it cut, tell the school that they can either STFU or get ready to be sued for sex discrimination and/or religious discrimination.
Any schoolteacher who tried to cut a pupil's hair because they disapproved would be up on assault charges as well as being sacked.
A school can exclude a child for a haircut that breaches whatever stupid rules they have, but they can't take it upon themselves to cut the child's hair - just like they can't actually remove jewellery or make up by force, if a pupil refuses to remove these things themselves. You don't get to do things to other people's bodies against their wishes.

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:48

Has it occurred to you that maybe she was happy to have her hair cut and got home and her mum went mental?

No, because that is patent bullshit and I don't know why you're reaching to such ridiculous contrivances to shift the focus of the abuse.

You have a feminine username.

grannytomine · 08/02/2018 11:51

You're a fucking loon, granny. Brilliant standard of debate, well done.

Would you also think it's OK to tie a girl down and force feed her food so that we can disabuse her of the assumption that thin - beautiful? Let me guess - why all the fuss, she can lose weight if she wants!

Force feeding some while tied down isn't a treatment for anorexia that I have heard of. I do think convincing girls they need to be stick thin to be attractive is damaging, don't you?

Anyway after your sparkling repartee I will leave you to your hysteria.

Dancingfairy · 08/02/2018 11:53

Really can't get worked up about this. Certainly wouldn't call it abuse.

Cherrycokewinning · 08/02/2018 11:53

This is really horrible for the teen and mother but I have no idea how it’s become international news. Another example of how shit news has become tbh, someone’s social media rant reported to the world Shock

PoorYorick · 08/02/2018 11:54

Really can't get worked up about this. Certainly wouldn't call it abuse.

You might if something equivalent happened to you.