Other people’s kids at soft play

[InMemoryOfSleep]

I took DS aged 21 months to a new toddlers-only soft play this morning, and honestly some of the other kids there have put me off going again! There was one large boy who had taken possession of a truck and was using it to whack every other toy in range, and another girl who screamed around her dummy at any child who dared go near the kitchen she had declared her domain. It makes me so sad to see my quiet little guy, who’s fascinated by other kids and just working out how to play and interact with others, pushed around by these vile kids. And their parents just sit on their phones while I’m gritting my teeth trying to nicely suggest their shrieking offspring share their toys. . Any suggestions for handling it in the future, other than just don’t go?!

Yanbu.
Also, I find it a bit annoying on threads like these,with the whole “it’ll be your child whacking another one in no time” and “your time will come” stuff. No. Really, my child won’t do that. Not because they are perfect or weirdly adult, but because I will absolutely make damn sure that they do not. I have 3 small dc and in a soft play session they are polite, gentle, take turns and have fun running around with each other. They are come down on very hard if they behave anything other than like that at home so they just wouldn’t contemplate being pushy/shouty/grabby in public.
Special needs aside,it’s perfectly possible to train your toddlers and children to be well behaved in soft play!

Op, some kids are just horrible, nasty little characters with no concept of unacceptable behaviour.

I take my children to soft play and play with them. The little sh!ts tend to focus their attention elsewhere then.

Good luck!

I’m finding the special needs excuse really irritating. My eldest has asd and did not behave like this. When I had three under five I needed a break sometimes but I didn’t see soft play as that. Up to a certain age you need to be at arms length. But as they got older we got to a point where I could sit and work on my laptop and drink coffee because they knew how to behave and I was still very much aware of where they were and what they were at. But as slightly bigger kids they might not need me to hover, but I still have a responsibility to smaller vulnerable kids. And I absolutely got up off my butt when necessary and occasionally to play. When I met up with other mums we always followed up with emails to finish off conversations that were continually interrupted by dealing with or playing with our kids. The pleasure of other mums’ company is that they understand that you’re a bit distracted and don’t take it personally.
But as others have said, it’s a relief to have that all behind me.

Lucky you. It's a spectrum condition, so just because your child could behave in a certain way doesn't mean someone else's can.

@Foxanddana YES this exactly!!

MrsB that’s very true. But I’ve never considered his SN to be a free pass not to deal with his behaviour or allow him to hurt other children.
I’ve met up with other mums with dc on the spectrum and they intervene to safeguard other children.
Like other posters have said, I’m not judging children being children when the parents are doing their best. The annoyance is the ones who are left to behave badly with no attempt by their parent to step up.

I'm with you, OP. I too check my phone and I'm not engaging with my daughter every second, but she's within eyeshot. If I see an interaction I don't like going down I will intervene, because I want to show my daughter (if she isn't figuring it out for herself or if it's getting unsafe) how to navigate these things.

Rule of thumb for me is stay where you can see them so you can jump in if required.

No @inmemoryofsleep My comment about being defensive was not aimed at you at all. It was for the abusive miow person. I’m in full support of you.

why is it so many are quick to to say engaged who supervise parents are being helicopter parents yet won't accept any slight comment about their own laid back parenting style. Love MN for this