Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Other people’s kids at soft play

159 replies

InMemoryOfSleep · 07/02/2018 14:32

I took DS aged 21 months to a new toddlers-only soft play this morning, and honestly some of the other kids there have put me off going again! There was one large boy who had taken possession of a truck and was using it to whack every other toy in range, and another girl who screamed around her dummy at any child who dared go near the kitchen she had declared her domain. It makes me so sad to see my quiet little guy, who’s fascinated by other kids and just working out how to play and interact with others, pushed around by these vile kids. And their parents just sit on their phones while I’m gritting my teeth trying to nicely suggest their shrieking offspring share their toys. Angry. Any suggestions for handling it in the future, other than just don’t go?!

OP posts:
Newnaim · 07/02/2018 16:55

My daughter is the same, very interested in other children and everything around her. Wants to play with everyone and will happily toddle along after being pushed over/handled roughly by other children. It boils my blood. Not the children, as much as it pisses me off. They are children. 100% if your child can’t play nicely or isn’t of an age where you don’t have to tell them to be gentle/careful you should be one step behind them. I’m heavily pregnant and still manage it so mums that sit sipping tea while leaving children to it is a piss take.
I’ve decided that if their parents aren’t there to tell them I will.. I don’t mean il tell children off or over step the mark but il certainly say “no snatching” or “no, give that back please” “gently” etc

RadioGaGoo · 07/02/2018 17:01

Yes Tarraleaha, you certainly have those pesky, phone watching posters pegged don't you Grin.

Original poster
InMemoryOfSleep · 07/02/2018 17:25

@MiaowTheCat or option 3 - take your children to lots of places like soft play so they can have fun and socialise, but actually bloody be a parent and supervise them.

OP posts:
Tarraleaha · 07/02/2018 17:39

RadioGaGoo
I never understand why people bother having children if it's too much effort to be a parent, and god forbid spend any time with them. There's no excuse.

Anxiousally · 07/02/2018 17:43

This post makes me so sad. My 18 month old is very boisterous and gets alot from soft play. He is also mesmerised by other children too. We're going though a phase at the moment where he has been nipping, hitting and grabbing. I follow him like a hawk around soft play but last week he got to another little boy and nipped him and really upset him. I was devastated and found him mum to apologise. And she was fine because she knew that things like this happen. And as much as we try to teach him it's bad to nip etc it's very hard at his age so I'm just doing the best I can.
I would NEVER judge another parent on how their toddler behaves at a soft play they're all learning and going through phases. They are NOT vile Hmm

Shedmicehugh · 07/02/2018 17:44

Short of telling parents to get up off their arses, I’m not sure how you can enforce option 3 unfortunately.

Please start another thread if you do go for option 3, I would love to hear the responses! Grin

bluegreygreen · 07/02/2018 17:49

Calling it vile behaviour is one thing - calling toddlers 'vile kids' is a bit unreasonable

(saying this as someone who frequently wants to hide from 'other people')

EmpireVille · 07/02/2018 17:53

I'm not good with soft play because I also think every other child there is horrid and mine are angels.

I also hate the negligent parents who use it as an opportunity for a break while other parents police their children.

Phew. It's good to get it out isn't it OP?

walkalongjosie · 07/02/2018 17:56

Am thanking God that I don't have to endure soft play anymore! It's exactly as you described OP and u totally get what you're saying and agree with you. Going at lunchtime works as it tends to be quieter.. but the best thing is to avoid as much as possible! It's a place where some parents take their kids so they don't have to watch them and the kids run riot without any boundaries..

EmpireVille · 07/02/2018 17:56

I would NEVER judge another parent on how their toddler behaves at a soft play they're all learning and going through phases

Really? I once saw a child take his trousers down and pee in a soft play - on a bouncy mat that you landed on at the end of the slide. His older brother started yelling for the mother, she eventually came over, laughed and wiped it up with a paper towel. Then she sat back down with her phone as if it never happened.

Tarraleaha · 07/02/2018 17:56

I disagree Anxiousally some kids are vile, but I blame the parents.

No one is blaming a parent who is supervising their kids, things happen. I have seen a parent in a wheelchair taking the kids to a soft play (not toddlers). They were staying right at the front, of course unable to follow, but keeping an eye on them. Because most people are kind, other mums and dads were more than happy to help if needed. I don't think anyone gave a disabled parent the evil eye. The ones who are being judged and I personally can't stand are the ones who don't move their butt from their chair because they are too busy drinking their coffee or chatting with their friends.

LambMadras · 07/02/2018 17:57

I was persuaded by a friend to try one yesterday. I lasted 10 minutes. Fetid, skanky, noisy, awful.
Kids with shitty nappies charging around, kicking others, throwing themselves around. Pushing and shoving.
And the parents not giving a fuck in the cafe.
Never ever again.

SmallBlondeMama · 07/02/2018 18:00

I completely get what your saying and I often feel the same way at play places. I also love to send my boys off to play while I amuse myself on my phone ;) Mine are 3 & 5 though.

MiaowTheCat · 07/02/2018 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
InMemoryOfSleep · 07/02/2018 18:18

@MiaowTheCat I don’t care how hyped up the kids are - of course that’s normal. But, as lots of other posters have also pointed out, the parents should be there to supervise their kids, and manage their behaviour. Give them as much sugar as you want, cram them into the play centre by the hundred - it’s no excuse for not keeping an eye on them and letting them run riot.

OP posts:
Ohforfoxsakereturns · 07/02/2018 18:23

You don’t know what’s going on with the other parents.

They might just want a fucking break.

MrsHathaway · 07/02/2018 18:25

They might just want a fucking break.

The more challenging the child, the more likely this is, I'd have thought.

Ohforfoxsakereturns · 07/02/2018 18:29

Motherhood can be a lonely place.
Staring at a phone a distraction.
Kid safe and occupied and not mothering for a few minutes.
Perhaps they’re just exhausted. Bored. Feeling shit.
Maybe they just want it to stop for a while.

Raver84 · 07/02/2018 18:31

The vile children you speak of were not running riot they were just playing. They don't have to play with your son. Wait until you have another child or two. You will not be playing with your quiet guy in soft play then.

kaytee87 · 07/02/2018 18:33

I must be really lucky with my local soft play, everyone is supervising at least the smallest children. The only gripe I've had is bigger kids being in the under 3's area.

Ohforfoxsakereturns · 07/02/2018 18:33

Thinking about it, I was super attentive with DS1 when he was at soft play. Always paid attention and never once took my eye off him.

He was a biter between the ages of 2 - 3. Probably those are the kids - with the helicopter parents - that you want to watch out for.

Original poster
InMemoryOfSleep · 07/02/2018 18:39

@Raver84 I didn’t want them to play with my child, I wanted them to let him play - the boy to stop legging it about bashing thinga with a big truck and nearly hitting DS (twice), as well as hitting the toys DS wanted to play with. The girl to allow him to enter the kitchen. He wasn’t bothered about interacting with either of them, he just wanted to get on with it, and their behaviour was stopping him. And their parents were nowhere to be seen.

OP posts:
storynanny · 07/02/2018 18:41

The “ behaviour” of the toddlers is not the issue really, they are just being normal little children. It is the fact that they need help and guidance to do that.
Re the parents wanting a break. I get that, I’ve had 3 children, got 6 grandchildren and have been an infant teacher for nearly forty years. Five or six mums sitting around a table chatting taking no notice of the children, why can’t they take it in turns to “monitor”? 30 mins each, everyone gets at least an hour break.

TheClitterati · 07/02/2018 18:44

You have one nice child and you think their quiet good nature is down to your brilliant parenting

And then you have another child who is totally different. You do all the same things, yet their behaviour is rambunctious, and you realise it's got very little to do with you after all.

But yeah, boundaries. But those mums of more physical children need a break and soft play is often where they take it.

isadoradancing123 · 07/02/2018 18:47

Well the kids were vile and the parents worse. My kids certainly didn't become truck yielding monsters.