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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend cancelled because daughter was sick ...aibu to be annoyed?

94 replies

Lisajohn234 · 04/02/2018 10:39

So I never ever ask anyone for any help whatsoever.
Decorated my house alone,moved alone etc.
I needed a new wardrobe and chest of draws (flat pack).
There was a warehouse about 35 mins away and you can only get there by car.
My friend insisted i let her take me and help me lift it etc.
The day before I rang and paid for the wardrobe and chest of drawers.
The morning we were meant to collect my friend texts saying her daughter has ear ache and she can’t take me.
So I have to get taxi to collect them which cost me £60.
Later in the day she texts saying her BF is off work for a week and driving her mad.
So why couldn’t she leave her daughter with him?
The next day she’s in town with her daughter,clothes shopping.
Aibu to be a bit annoyed here?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisajohn234 · 04/02/2018 10:40

Her boyfriend is the daughters dad.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 04/02/2018 10:40

Yanbu

Blackteadrinker77 · 04/02/2018 10:42

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I would have asked the boy friend to take you, I hate people going back on promises. It is my pet hate.

Original poster
Lisajohn234 · 04/02/2018 10:43

I’m annoyed with myself because I hate relying on anyone and stupidly didn’t even think she would cancel.

OP posts:
Tarraleaha · 04/02/2018 11:08

YANBU

Ear aches are horrible, but not a valid excuse unless your friend has a convertible and would have driven with the roof down. Otherwise, she just could not be bothered.
The ridiculous thing was to offer you a lift in the first place!

alotalotalot · 04/02/2018 11:14

Did she realise you actually had to go that day and had to fork out for a taxi? Maybe she just thought you could go another time.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 04/02/2018 11:15

Actually, YANBU. Child's dad could have looked after her.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 04/02/2018 11:16

I would be making a mental note to be unavailable when she needs something.

Slartybartfast · 04/02/2018 11:16

yanbu, she was just looking for excuses.
unless of course she was really worried about her dd

megletthesecond · 04/02/2018 11:18

Yanbu. But I'd bet her bf is being a shit and complaining about looking after his dd and put your friend in a rotten position. (See also my xp).

Namechangetempissue · 04/02/2018 11:18

YANBU. I wouldn't be offering up any favours in the future.

GentleJones · 04/02/2018 11:19

YANBU but could you have asked to pick up the following day?

Can understand why you’d just get the taxi though, I’d do the same, I never ask for help either and this would confirm my reasons why.

JaneEyre70 · 04/02/2018 11:19

Just remember this when she next asks for a favour.

Series28 · 04/02/2018 11:19

Hmmm, did she even apologise? I get why it would be annoying but personally I have cancels plans with friends many times because my DC were ill, i feel like thats one of the only valid excuses.

Cornettoninja · 04/02/2018 11:26

How old is her dd? A child whose old enough to comprehend her parent is popping out then yanbu but any younger then I think I'd cut her some slack.

Preschoolers don't really understand why they feel poorly or in pain and can't articulate what's going on and just want their mum. If she doesn't particularly trust her bf's parenting (whole other thread) then I would understand the reluctance.

Incidentally if you don't drive (I don't either) it's worth pricing up some local man with vans outfits, it can work out much much cheaper for things like furniture.

mikeyssister · 04/02/2018 11:30

@Cornettoninja the DD is old enough to go clothes shopping

TinaMena · 04/02/2018 11:34

Drawers, not draws. Sorry - couldn't resist

Nanny0gg · 04/02/2018 11:35

@Cornettoninja

And whilst she may want her mum, her father was there.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 04/02/2018 11:36

She could have offered an alternative date so sounds like she cba.

whitecremeegg · 04/02/2018 11:36

I would have replied "well at least you didn't have to pay £60 for a taxi because your friend doesn't trust their partner to look after his own child"

FrancisCrawford · 04/02/2018 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Lisajohn234 · 04/02/2018 11:40

Her daughter is 7.
No I didn’t ask her to take me another day as I felt uncomfortable asking after she just cancelled.
Lesson learnt -rely on nobody

OP posts:
nornironlady · 04/02/2018 11:40

Details aside this is just the way it is relying on someone else. I'm like yourself OP, independent and ask for no help so when I do I expect that folk will at least try to accommodate me (usually family members) - I always give plenty of notice etc. This means nothing, IME it comes down to whether they can actually be bothered or not.

LemonShark · 04/02/2018 11:42

Yeah that's so shit of her. If I was here I'd be falling over myself to apologise and offering to pay for at least some if not all of the cab fare!

Have you got any plans to learn to drive OP? It's honestly much better than having to rely on others for these sorts of situations where a car trip is unavoidably necessary.

harshbuttrue1980 · 04/02/2018 11:44

Relying on someone often ends up like that. Easier just to sort it yourself and pay for delivery if you don't want to learn to drive yourself. I much prefer to either do it myself or pay someone, and not then be dependent on anyone.