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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend cancelled because daughter was sick ...aibu to be annoyed?

94 replies

Lisajohn234 · 04/02/2018 10:39

So I never ever ask anyone for any help whatsoever.
Decorated my house alone,moved alone etc.
I needed a new wardrobe and chest of draws (flat pack).
There was a warehouse about 35 mins away and you can only get there by car.
My friend insisted i let her take me and help me lift it etc.
The day before I rang and paid for the wardrobe and chest of drawers.
The morning we were meant to collect my friend texts saying her daughter has ear ache and she can’t take me.
So I have to get taxi to collect them which cost me £60.
Later in the day she texts saying her BF is off work for a week and driving her mad.
So why couldn’t she leave her daughter with him?
The next day she’s in town with her daughter,clothes shopping.
Aibu to be a bit annoyed here?

OP posts:
alotalotalot · 04/02/2018 13:39

Because she offered what should have happened was you should have said "ah poor x. I hope he feels better soon. i'll see if I can rearrange collection for another time if that's ok as i don't have anyone else to ask"

That would be a perfectly acceptable response given she offered in the first place. If that wasn't ok then she's not a friend. My guess is that she thought you wanted to collect it asap and that you would probably be able to arrange something else. I bet she will be horrified to hear that you spent £60.

rightsaidfrederickII · 04/02/2018 13:45

YANBU. She didn't have to offer, but once she had and let you make plans around it she should have stuck to it. It's not like her daughter was in hospital.

Zintox · 04/02/2018 13:50

All you can do now is send a text along the lines of:

Unfortunately I had to get a taxi to go fetch it. Can you believe it cost £60!
Anyway, just got to put it all up now. I hope x isn't feeling too ill. Ear infections are nasty, poor love.
See you soon xx

No point falling out over it. She probably thought you could get it another way or cancel your order.

Original poster
Lisajohn234 · 04/02/2018 13:54

I text her telling her not to worry and hope she was feeling better soon.
Got her a little LOL doll to cheer her up.
It isn’t worth falling out over a bit of furniture.

OP posts:
babyccinoo · 04/02/2018 13:57

To an extent, yes. But it's not worth being a doormat either.

HongKongPhooeyNo1Superstar · 04/02/2018 14:05

you are a doormat, OP.

abilockhart · 04/02/2018 14:06

The joys of being a mum - damned if she stays home with an unwell child; damned if she goes furniture shopping with a friend when her child is so unwell.

barefoofdoctor · 04/02/2018 14:10

BF is a lazy letdown and a lying cunt.

Failingat40 · 04/02/2018 14:14

What exactly is the point in having friends when they treat you like this?

And you've gone and bought her kid a doll after knowing full well she could have helped you but chose not to? Nope! No sympathy from me.

Allthewaves · 04/02/2018 14:14

Did she know you had already paid to them

wakemeupbefore · 04/02/2018 14:15

barefoot.... what a simple yet eloquent way to exaggerate:

'...BF is a lazy letdown and a lying cunt....'

You are a true wonder.

Original poster
Lisajohn234 · 04/02/2018 14:15

Yeah I told her on the night I had paid for them

OP posts:
Jenna43 · 04/02/2018 14:18

She is a close friend,I am probably over reacting

No you're not over-reacting. She could have left her child with the father or she could've got her husband to take you.

Jenna43 · 04/02/2018 14:22

The joys of being a mum - damned if she stays home with an unwell child; damned if she goes furniture shopping with a friend when her child is so unwell

Or she could have got her husband to take her, not just go back on her word.

abilockhart · 04/02/2018 17:44

Jenna43, some kids when ill just want their mum. Just because it's not something you've ever experienced doesn't make the OP's friend a 'bitch' for staying with her child.

Jenna43 · 05/02/2018 12:09

@abilockhart Jenna43, some kids when ill just want their mum. Just because it's not something you've ever experienced doesn't make the OP's friend a 'bitch' for staying with her child

Excuse me? Where did I call the OPs friend a bitch? Yeah, that didn't happen, stop making stories up please.

And yes, I have experienced my DCs being sick and I've had to pop out somewhere. They were absolutely fine with my DP for an hour. They don't set the rules in my house. If you want to make a rod for your own back, go right ahead.

laura65988 · 07/02/2018 18:23

What was her excuse for letting u down but then turn around and say the bf off and its mayhem yeah maybe but u don't Saturday are doing.something then cancel with no explanation just ignore it and see if it was one off as she's ure friend but don't forget and ifu feel it's one sided all the time say gd bye as these people will use u for everything and give u nothing in returnx

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 08/02/2018 01:53

Erm... ok?

EfficiencyDeficiency · 08/02/2018 06:20

I think that it's mean of your friend to be a
honest.

Im assuming she knows you're pretty skint and would have to get a taxi or do you think she thinks you would ask someone else?

Either way, the point is here, she offered.
You didn't ask her and maybe put her on the spot.

I have a 7 year old dd and she can be a total madam whilst sick but I would be quite happy to leave her in the care of her dad for a couple of hours.

As an aside, well done for doing your own place up. I keep procrastinating and saying i wouldn't know how to do it when really I just need to have a go and try.

In the past ( when I've had more money ) it's been easier to pay someone and as a result I haven't a clue :)

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