Mother in law going in my bedroom

[madwifenewlife]

Ok not sure if I'm being unreasonable to be bothered by this, or if it is a bit odd. We moved house a couple of months ago so been trying to get it sorted out. It's taking time as needs some work and was left in a state.

But every time my in laws come round mil will nip to the loo, and then just let her self into my bedroom for a look! My husband found her in there the second to last time, and today I had stuff in the landing as was moving my daughters room round and blocked my room on purpose. She just started climbing over bits making her way to my bedroom! I said oh don't go in there it's a right mess! But she still went in. I just find it a bit odd now to just keep going in there, we have been here a bit so it's not changed or been decorated yet! I feel like getting a massive dildo and putting it on the bed or something next time they pop round just to put her off doing it again lol. Anyway would this bother anyone else or am I being silly?

Also my bedroom is no where near the bathroom she doesn't need to walk past it as my stairs split off at the top, and my landing is quite long each way, so bathroom is a different end to my bedroom.

My DD’s nursery has an incredibly loud buzzer that goes off when the door is opened.

You get them on amazon.

As she goes up stairs pick something up and smile as she nips in the loo. Then sit quietly on your bed and wait for her ask her when she enters have you lost something? My MIL used to do this too she just used to run off up stairs for a look around. It drove me crazy

But she's seen it before so she already knows what it's like. *
Does she mean she wants to see if there are socks & pants lying on the floor, or what?*

I think she genuinely just misses her 'little boy' and to her he'll always be her little boy and it's hard to accept he's now an adult (with wife & 2 kids). Any attempt to stand up to her and we just get floods of tears. I sway between feeling sorry for her and wanting to scream to back off & get a grip!

My ex (thank god) MIL used to behave this way. They’d come and stay and she’d do all our laundry, not a problem but a bit sad she had nothing better to do with her time. Anyway she’d want to put it away as well. We had a divan bed with drawers in it and she went to put the towels I think, in one of them. I jumped in saying “oh no, I’ll take them they go in the hamper let me do it”. We had a little verbal tussle which ended with her saying as haughtily as she could “I don’t know what you do with freshly laundered towels where you come from but WE put them away nicely in the drawers in the bed!” I gave a look and calmly took them and put them in the hamper anyway. Later that day I found the same towels scattered across the bed rather carelessly. The drawer MIL had wanted to put them half open. Exposing the condoms, vibrators, anal beads, lube and possibly some hardcore porn (her son is a massive fan) along with an array of slutty outfits. Inlaws went home early next morning 2 days early. Fucking winning

Does she do it when your DH is there? Maybe she thinks you've got 'A Man' stashed in your bedroom and she's trying to catch you out. Especially if she keeps coming round unannounced

Can you find a way to sneak into the bedroom ahead of her and hide behind the door?

... Perhaps with a creepy mask on for good measure?

@LittleMyLikesSnuffkin that's fucking amazing

God maybe she's trying to help u what's the big deal it's ure bedroom ure not 16 so u have nothing to hide maybe she is looking to see how she can help sort if she's bossy maybe that's just how she is but ure not really standing up for ureself if u feel that bad about it tell her straight don't go in my room please it's not a massive issue some people are just forward and if u dont say no. She not going to know it's a problem

You.
You're or your.

You.
You're or your

I know man when I started in forum land, I spoke in text speak and got my arse handed to me quite quickly and it beat out of me. If you’re going to be a prolific poster you need to get on the beam.

Put a bolt /latch on your door .... too high for her to reach.

She either can’t get in, admits it ...or jumps.

What does she even do when she gets in there?? I mean, is there a reason she keeps going in or does she just stand there? How absolutely bizarre

When you go to her house, make sure to go in her bedroom and wander about. Make it obvious you've been in (I.e. move things and leave door open). If she asks, say 'Oh, just having a look about. Other people's bedrooms are interesting, aren't they?' Stare her down!

This sounds like my (maternal) grandmother... whenever she came to ours she'd have a good old prowl through the kitchen and bedrooms under the pretense of "looking for an ashtray". It's now a running joke in the family to be "looking for an ashtray" when you're just being a nosey bastard.

Sod the lock. Tell your DH to sort her out & PDQ or you will do it yourself & there will be WW3 with him in the middle. Beyond nosey.

My MIL who was lovely, though odd & I miss very much used to do something similar, not out of nosiness, more a skewed boundary thing.

On the very rare occasion that she babysat & stayed with us, she took to wandering into our bedroom at 5/6am, plonking herself at the foot of our bed on my side for a chat. DH always slept through it & I was too hung over too gobsmacked to say much, she just sat & rattled on about what DD or our pets had said/done etc.

DH sorted it out with her with out my needing to ask at all, he was shocked himself when he realised

@UgandanKnuckles “Looking for an ashtray” I love family in-jokes/code like that.

@madwifenewlife Has your MIL been back yet?

Thanks for the replies all, love the looking for an ashtray line when being nosy ha!
No she hasn't been back yet will update if she does. Had some bad news this week so it seems pretty trivial to care about this now. But it's still funny! So will update.

@laura65988 and you ask why people are rude?

Sorry for the user name change, can't fine one I like

Find

My in laws do this. I’ve caught them reading medical documentation before. They go through drawers, rooms and papers. They have tried to put pictures up, they have dug up my plants and moved them.

On DSs first birthday we locked all the upstairs doors ‘in case any of the five or six year olds went into rooms (I have a sewing room, can’t have the little darlings exposed to needles!) MIL came down ‘from going to the loo’ in a huff and asked why we’d locked the doors. ‘Why were you becoming the doors?’ Was our reply.

I am always on edge when they are here. By contrast my parents are incredibly respectful of boundaries. I’m very private and it drives me insane.

Get a lock
TELL her, explicitly, not to do it.
REINFORCE the boundary every single time. It’s exhausting and you shouldn’t have to do this shit

Opening the doors. Not becoming them.

Firstly tell her "Please don't go into the bedrooms when you visit". Otherwise she will claim she "didn't realise" it's not OK for her to do that!

Then print out an A4 picture of her face, cross it out and write "No Entry" underneath. Blu-tack it to the outside of your closed bedroom door.

When we were on holiday. My mil, spent time upstairs ironing and I could tell she had been snooping in our bedroom. I have told her not to do this in future; especially when we are not there.
We have a lot of documents at the top of our wardrobe and I have a feeling she had been going through them!