Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother in law going in my bedroom

188 replies

madwifenewlife · 03/02/2018 21:09

Ok not sure if I'm being unreasonable to be bothered by this, or if it is a bit odd. We moved house a couple of months ago so been trying to get it sorted out. It's taking time as needs some work and was left in a state.

But every time my in laws come round mil will nip to the loo, and then just let her self into my bedroom for a look! My husband found her in there the second to last time, and today I had stuff in the landing as was moving my daughters room round and blocked my room on purpose. She just started climbing over bits making her way to my bedroom! I said oh don't go in there it's a right mess! But she still went in. I just find it a bit odd now to just keep going in there, we have been here a bit so it's not changed or been decorated yet! I feel like getting a massive dildo and putting it on the bed or something next time they pop round just to put her off doing it again lol. Anyway would this bother anyone else or am I being silly?

Also my bedroom is no where near the bathroom she doesn't need to walk past it as my stairs split off at the top, and my landing is quite long each way, so bathroom is a different end to my bedroom.

OP posts:
Lashalicious · 03/02/2018 21:53

The next time she does this, follow her and softly close the door to and hold it so that she can't get out. Then call down to dh and dc to please come help you get mil out of bedroom, somehow the door is jammed and mil is trapped. In a room she has no business being in. When everyone comes to gather round let the door loose "oh, here it is finally" and ask mil "were you looking for something in our bedroom?"

mummmy2017 · 03/02/2018 21:54

You should put one of the alarms on the door, so it goes off when she goes in, try letting her explain that to everyone in the house.

Original poster
madwifenewlife · 03/02/2018 21:55

Haha yes a note saying hi mil this is my underwear draw I think you are lost! Or I hope you are!!

OP posts:
SockUnicorn · 03/02/2018 21:55

@madwifenewlife My DHs elderly aunt does this. at all family gatherings. Goes into my bedroom, potters round for a few minutes and saunters off, often leaving the door open behind her. Her sister (my MIL) has to actively go looking for her to "see where she is" after 10 mins of her going to the toilet. Also MIL frequently, LOUDLY, tells her to "dont go in any rooms" when she goes to the bathroom, and she huffily shouts back "IM ONLY LOOKING" like a petulant teen. So I fully understand! I hate it, it makes me feel so uncomfortable. I just cling on to the fact that she will be dead soon and it will all be over!

virtualreality · 03/02/2018 21:55

WTF is wrong with having a lock on your door, now come on.

I know there are some hilarious lighthearted comments but still, the simple solutions are often the best!

WitchIwasaWitch18 · 03/02/2018 21:56

My exMIL was like this too. She would also just barge straight in without waiting. So don't miss the old bag. She would rummage through drawers as well even my knicker ones.

Like the dildo suggestions and the photos of you DTD. Perhaps one of you enjoying a 3some with a bit of help from clever photoshopping? Or photos of her precious son in drag?

Mustardnowletsnotbesilly · 03/02/2018 21:56

My MIL does this when she is staying and just bursts in too. She tried to get in to my bedroom before xmas and I had just got out the shower. Totally naked I asked her to stop coming in and she said "Oh I've seen naked people before!" Errrrr.... not me you haven't love. I shut the door and she pushed back against me on it. Mental.

Original poster
madwifenewlife · 03/02/2018 21:58

@SockUnicorn yes she says I'm only looking too!

I followed her in there today a bit slow as I was moving stuff to catch up, instead of climbing over it! And she was just stood in the middle of the room hands on hips "looking" I dunno what she did the time before as my husband told me after she had gone. It's just weird.

I also think if she knew it bothered me she would do it more.

OP posts:
frasier · 03/02/2018 21:59

Or go one further than Lashalicious' excellent suggestion, leave the door ajar so she can get in but loosen the handle so she can't get out. I got trapped in my sister's bathroom because she had a loose handle (legitimate reason for being in their, I needed a wee! Grin) and it took ages to get me out.

Original poster
madwifenewlife · 03/02/2018 22:00

I don't have locks on any doors with having kids in the house. It's just not something we have done. I may need to though at this rate. But I don't like locks so hopefully it won't go on.

OP posts:
RedDogsBeg · 03/02/2018 22:00

Ask her why she keeps going into your bedroom, it will be interesting how she replies. Whatever her reply say you don't want her going into your bedroom unless invited to by you and you expect her to have the decency and courtesy to abide by your wishes. That's not an offensive thing to say and something she can't argue against without looking totally unreasonable.

Just read your last post, if you think she would do it more after you have asked her not to then she really is a piece of work and you may have to ask your husband to reiterate the message to her and advise her that if she persists the door will be locked.

frasier · 03/02/2018 22:01

*there

ijustwannadance · 03/02/2018 22:04

I'd have to put a stop to the whole turning up without prior invite thing.

You should not have to put a lock on a door in your own home!

Tell her to stay the fuck out of your bedroom and if she can't she can stay the fuck out out of your house.

PastaOfMuppets · 03/02/2018 22:04

Have you ever simply and unequivocally told her MIL DON'T GO INTO MY BEDROOM, or have you given her reasons not to eg it's a bit of a mess no need to go in there? The more reasons why means more reasons to ignore, but a clear DON'T is more blatant to disregard.

I also second @Ecumenical's suggestion as well as some sort of a booby trap.

Mxyzptlk · 03/02/2018 22:06

Yeah I think il close the door next time as it was open.
Can't see that having any effect, after the climbing episode.

DH doesn't see the issue, but should accept that it upsets you so should tell MiL to stop it.

The shrieking alarm idea looks great - it might have to be a boring, old lock tho, to make sure she's kept out.

Mustard - ShockShockShock

virtualreality · 03/02/2018 22:07

OP, the lock to your mutual private space/bedroom will only be turned when you know all your kids are within view surely. And deliciously will keep the harridan out of the room too.

I think you need to do this. She will be flummoxed trying to get in there! Proper order anyway in my mind.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 03/02/2018 22:07

Wtf are these people looking for? It’s a bedroom, it’s generally going to have the same shit most bedrooms have - a bed, clothes, cupboards, the holy grail, gold bullion... Grin

I agree with lock on the door but I like the period features in my house - I’d feel really miffed I had to buy a lock then ruin the door frame by attaching it just because of one nosy git.

Had another ‘fun’ idea (I’m childish, bear with me Grin ) how about getting a friend to dress like a museum curator and some other friends to dress like tourists in anoraks with cameras, get some of those rope things and put them in front of furniture etc, tell friend to remind your MIL not to touch the exhibits.

I really need to get out more Grin

ijustwannadance · 03/02/2018 22:09

The lock wouldn't work if op was out and her DH at home. He doesn't see the issue so wouldn't bother locking the door.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 03/02/2018 22:14

@Mustardnowletsnotbesilly Shock that’s fucked up!

virtualreality · 03/02/2018 22:14

The husband needs to take a stand and support his wife now about this.

But mother will rule the roost I suppose and DH will acquiesce, or at a minimum will say nothing.

I think that is the root of it all. But anyway. GET a LOCK and use it.

Lashalicious · 03/02/2018 22:17

Toss some condoms across the bed along with dh's bloomers turned inside out with a framed picture of mil on top and dh will see the issue then.

Itsjustaphase84 · 03/02/2018 22:17

I think you need to report back n how this one plays out Grin

Original poster
madwifenewlife · 03/02/2018 22:20

I've not directly told her not to go in there, but I only really thought how ridiculous it's getting today after her clambering to get in it lol. I did say to Dh last time why was she in there? That's a bit weird! But like I've said no idea if it's just this house or if she's always done it.

I have directly asked her not to just turn up uninvited and unexpected. Have asked for a text or a call first. But she just ignored that! I ignore the door and let Dh answer it at weekend. To say he was outside so they banged the window till the kids answered it! I was moving a room round with music on and just said oh sorry I didn't hear you! I wasn't expecting anyone to turn up!

Glad I'm not being unreasonable to be annoyed by it. So now I just need to set a little scene next time!

OP posts:
frasier · 03/02/2018 22:20

I've got it. Leave this on the bed

www.amazon.com/Forum-Novelties-Blow-Judy-Doll/dp/B010R6I8V4?tag=mumsnetforum-21

ArtyKitty · 03/02/2018 22:22

I loved and still miss my gran who died when I was in my early 20s. But I was furious that she'd let herself into my room, up to a year after we'd moved (age 15) and then reported to everyone at the dinner table that I had porn (cosmopolitan magazine).... I'd definitely have words as an adult

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread