To consider three children sharing one room?

[TabbyTigger]

Our current home has 4 bedrooms.

DS is 18 and at University, lives there but comes home to stay overnight probably once a month, plus being home at holidays. He has the tiny box room and always has done.

The attic has two big rooms. Currently one is shared by DD1 (13, nearly 14) and DD2 (12), and the other by DD3 (5) and DD4 (2). The fourth bedroom is obviously ours.

DD5 is due in two weeks (eek!) and I can’t stop thinking about what we’ll do when she’s bigger. Currently, the most viable option seems to be to put her in with DD3 and 4, say when they’re 6, 3, and 1. But the room isn’t huge, so would have to be bunk bed and regular bed (currently it’s just bunk bed), and then have very little space for much other than dresser. WIBU to squeeze the three of them in together for two years, just until DS no longer needs his room? (Then DD3 can move in there, and we’ll be back to just 2 sharing each bigger room). Or should I just take a deep breath in and accept that a move is inevitable? I love this house and where it is so really don’t want to move. I’m probably just overthinking and worrying, I just cant stop wondering about how new baby is going to change our lives!!

I know a family that has given the biggest room to their three dc. The dc love it (helps that they're very close.in age) and the parents took the box room with a double mattress on the basis that the children needed room and they didn't.

You probably should have posted this on the Larger Families board OP.
The replies here are just unhelpful and nasty.
Good luck for the next few weeks and beyond

Maybe I should just kill off my youngest three to reverse the damage their existence has caused?

Give the box room to the baby when baby is ready. Get a trundle bed to go under the bunk bed in your youngest twos room. When your son comes he gets his room back and youngest can have sleep overs in her sisters room. Kids will love it and son still gets his room for when he's there. Keep decor neutral in box room so son doesn't feel pushed out. Maybe keep new baby's stuff in your room so son can keep his stuff in his room.

Maybe keep baby in with you for the year and then you can reconsider moving? It doesn't need to be sorted right now really. And by then the eldest might have more concrete ideas about what he wants to do.

Good luck for the birth/new baby

What is a big family @Dakota?

Can you extend your house OP?

They haven’t caused any damage, but I think you’ll find they have been damaged.

And you’ve concluded this from a few hundred words posted by their Mum on an Internet forum?

I think someone may have mentioned it already, but years ago you would often have 2 or 3 children sharing the same bed. Don't think they grew up too scarred or unhinged.

I think if the baby can stay in with you for up to a year or so, then surely your eldest will be moving into his own place so will free up that room?

I never ever expected my mum to keep my room for me once I left for university, my mum and Dad downsized pretty much soon as I left which was fine, I was an adult. If I went home for the weekend I would share with my sisters or on the sofa it was fine.

Speak to your eldest about it and see what his plans are post uni.

No, I don’t Hugh. But I do think OP is perhaps dismissing how blending families and new babies can be upsetting for children even if they ‘seem’ fine with it. And overcrowding doesn’t help.

But I have been far far too nasty in my replies and apologise. Sensitive issue and I’ve projected.

Tabby it sounds like you have a good plan and will be able to get a bigger house if that's what's needed.

I'm just in awe of certain people with usernames that suggest they are quite intelligent posting utterly banal and frankly quite stupid responses.

Wow - not sure what people are getting so bent out of shape about. Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

I loved sharing a room with my sister growing up. And once I left for uni never permanently moved back home, so the box room should be far game when LO is bigger. You have no obligation to keep an adult child's room available indefinitely.

House full of girls sounds lovely. If you love the house, location etc IMO is more important than loads of space. Teenagers are always out anyway.

To add - the three that share have bunk beds and a cot bed tucked in behind it so it doesn't take.up too much room. The baby could be in a cot bed until at least the end of reception by which time circumstances will have changed again. Congratulations on the baby!

Jesus Christ polonius what's your problem?

OP I'm not sure why the replies have been so nasty, I don't see anything wrong with your current situation. Many kids share rooms, it's not a big deal.

Helpful!
I would hold fire. If you have fitted in so far you will be fine. If dc1 is only home every so often you could stick dc5 in there and move them when he comes home.

I would keep the littlest one in with you until he/she is around 2,and by that time your eldest may have moved out,but if not I can't see any problem with 3 sharing a room,especially with them all being so young-in fact they'll probably love it! :)

My mother is one of 9, she loved it. I'm one of four and dh is one of five, not huge families but I'd say bigger than average. I do love big families actually. After properly reading all your posts now I apologise if my post caused offence, truly. I'm actually probably a little jealous as I would love another baby but for us the negatives sadly out way the positives, would just be way to much of a financial stress and we have a nice life now that I don't want to change. From your posts you're in a good position and can financially support all your children and with there being quite big age gaps with the younger three and older three I'd think time management and giving them all 1on1 time would be doable...stressful but doable .

Again I'm sorry if I caused offence and good luck with the new baby

4 children here, none of them planned despite being on contraception....I must be off the selfish scale 🙁 does a ridiculously low income give me extra points?

OP it sounds like you have thought stuff through and your initial plan seems good. And if you have to move then so be it.

I know how you feel, my house is not big enough for my family but the location is perfect and the schools are brilliant so we are making do. Congratulations and good luck

Is there anywhere downstairs you could turn into a bedroom? I had five kids in a four bedroomed house, and had to split them up (because of the older ones waking the younger ones when they went up to bed), so turned a downstairs boiler room into a bedroom for eldest DS. It sounds a bit Harry Potter, but it made a perfectly good single room and gave him his own space.

One of the girls chose to move into it when he left home, so it can't have been that bad!

Surely the only thing that really matters is that they have a roof over their head. I didn’t have my own room till I was 8. And my two still share a room. Sometimes circumstances beyond your control force you to make changes. You just do the best you can.

Can you do a loft conversion? Even if it's an "unofficial" one. DS1 could have that when he's home.

Op, congratulations on your pregnancy, and good luck figuring out how to juggle the space. We had four children in one room for a few months - a temporary private fostering arrangement necessitated a "make do" attitude. Our social worker checked out the living arrangements and was very happy.

It can work just fine.

There does seem to be a prevailing opinion on here that children should never share bedrooms and anything less than a double room is horrible parenting. I don't understand the sentiment.

Having said that, we moved house and my DC all have their own rooms now, but I don't regret our smaller house days!