To consider three children sharing one room?

[TabbyTigger]

Our current home has 4 bedrooms.

DS is 18 and at University, lives there but comes home to stay overnight probably once a month, plus being home at holidays. He has the tiny box room and always has done.

The attic has two big rooms. Currently one is shared by DD1 (13, nearly 14) and DD2 (12), and the other by DD3 (5) and DD4 (2). The fourth bedroom is obviously ours.

DD5 is due in two weeks (eek!) and I can’t stop thinking about what we’ll do when she’s bigger. Currently, the most viable option seems to be to put her in with DD3 and 4, say when they’re 6, 3, and 1. But the room isn’t huge, so would have to be bunk bed and regular bed (currently it’s just bunk bed), and then have very little space for much other than dresser. WIBU to squeeze the three of them in together for two years, just until DS no longer needs his room? (Then DD3 can move in there, and we’ll be back to just 2 sharing each bigger room). Or should I just take a deep breath in and accept that a move is inevitable? I love this house and where it is so really don’t want to move. I’m probably just overthinking and worrying, I just cant stop wondering about how new baby is going to change our lives!!

We have had 4 kids in a 3 bed. It's really not the end of the world

Bish It was in response to people assuming the OP is poor. We have the choice to spend $3-4 million on a home with enough bedrooms for each child. We chose not to. We spent half of that and have 3DC sharing. We plan to expand in the future as I prefer to not have mixed sexes sharing during puberty. It's a huge misconception that only poor people have their DC sharing a room. It's extremely common when housing costs are high. I think some posters have been vile to the OP.

I think it depends on what your DC’s are use to. I have two sisters, we never shared and I would have hated doing so although we spent a lot of time in each others rooms. I have DT’s - they never shared, even as babies. We found it easier to get them to sleep if they were separate. They played together all the time but in the playroom rather than their bedrooms. They shared a floor of the house and had a Jack and Jill bathroom - that caused enough fights without dealing with them sharing a bedroom.

OP - congratulations on your pregnancy.

Go with your plan to swap the girls' rooms round. In many ways you have it a bit easier because the children do easily go into age / sex related groupings, it's not like the 5 year old is a boy and the 2 year old a girl etc.

Make the swap a better sell for the older girls by redecorating the slightly smaller room for them if funds allow then they have an older teenage room, and new baby and her sisters can share the bigger girls' room.

Some MN users are unbelievably rude and judgy. Ignore OP.
Lots of good ideas from PP but I wouldn't give up up your DS's room too easily, IME they come home after uni and want it back - if only for a while, also the holidays are way too long for them to spend on sofa - will drive you crazy.

I think having mixed sexes sharing during puberty would be a violation of their right to privacy, though it is not actually illegal.

I really can't see the issue with three children sharing a room.

When I was a child my sister and I shared a room and when my much younger cousin came to live with us permanently all three of us shared because we wanted to. There were four bedrooms in the house so we could have had a room each if we wanted to. Instead we had a playroom.

Obviously that was our choice though.

Oh good Lord! Only read the first 4 comments I reckon... pfft! Congratulations on baby from me xx

I grew up sharing a small room with my 2 sisters, a bunk bed and a single on its own.

Didn’t do ya any harm!

When we were ALL 3 teenage, our parents swapped their (slightly) bigger bedroom and used the smaller one for themselves. So that we had a little more room to be able to have a chest of drawers each.

It’ll be fiiiinee!

GL!

"03/02/2018 11:04 Whatshallidonowpeople

Perhaps it would have been sensible to consider where you were going to put them before getting pregnant?"

Oh gawd I'm in stitches over that response. 🤣

Bit of a precious world we live in isn't it? My other half has 6 siblings. They grew up in a 4 bedroom house with 1 bathroom. They are now all 40+. Here's where they are at now. 1 teacher, 3 successful small business owners, 1 medical professional, 1 tradesman, 1 executive. All but one are happily married (one is happily unmarried) with kids and a couple of grandkids. As you can see, having all those kids in one house growing up has really mucked them up for life (not!).

Soon your son will move out. When he does then put the youngest in that room, problem solved.

It's fine op well unless you have any more then you would need to move

I shared a room with my 3 sisters growing up, 2 bunk beds and tbh we loved it!
Those saying 'poor kids' and 'you should have thought about this before' can EFF OFF!!!

It's not of their business how many children you have, if I thought my sanity could handle it I would have 3 more!

Good luck to you and congratulations.xx

Wow some judgemental answers upthread!

My three shared a (small) room for a while. It wasn't ideal but it was ok and meant we had more space in the rest of the flat. DS1 now has his own room.
A generation ago my dad shared a bed with three of his brothers. The oldest was working by the time their grandad died and he moved into his own room, to many complaints from the others. It didn't lead to only three in the bed as the youngest took his place. The brothers all married young unsurprisingly but they turned out ok!

My 3 boys CHOOSE to share a room. We have plenty of rooms but they like being together.,The middle one has shared with the oldest since forever and doesn't want to be on his or in with only the youngest. The oldest could/would have his own room but the middle one doesn't want him to and the youngest used to have his own room but complained that it wasn't fair for him to be the only person in the family who had to sleep on his own. It's exhausting and they are happy together. They are 5, 7 and 10 though.

Some massively judgemental, prickish comments on here. Children DO NOT needs their own rooms/lots of space. Ridiculous. Bedrooms are for sleeping in - they can play elsewhere. OP, you sound very sensible/thoughtful. Please ignore all the high-horsey people on here.

I only had one brother but we shared for ages. We wanted to, it was fun! Despite having the choice of two bedrooms we were in the smaller one with bunk beds. Absolutely fine. We have DD2 and DS 3 months, and the plan is bunk beds for a few years - despite the fact we have a 4 bedroom house.

Second the suggestions about swapping rooms round and making it clear to DS he always has a place to stay.

The thought of having five kids makes me feel overwhelmed but that's just me, good on you and who are any of us to sit in judgement! Good luck OP.

Christ, some awful responses on here. I always shared with my 2 sisters, it's not the end of the world. My 2 DDS insist on sharing a room, even though they don't have too.

BrownEyes421

Any particular reason why you are plugging your facebook group in standalone posts across multiple threads?

I only had one brother but we shared for ages. We wanted to, it was fun!

This is how DD1 and 2 were - we moved in here when the children were 4, 5, and 10 and within a year they were begging to share, so shared for two years before they even needed to, and DD3+4’s room was the music room. (And that’s why they have a bigger room)

I think having mixed sexes sharing during puberty would be a violation of their right to privacy, though it is not actually illegal.

My DS has always been in his own room... the others are all girls!

Lots of good ideas from PP but I wouldn't give up up your DS's room too easily, IME

As I’ve already said - we’re not doing that! He will have his room throughout university, and briefly after if he needs it (thought I doubt he will).

Make the swap a better sell for the older girls by redecorating the slightly smaller room for them if funds allow then they have an older teenage room, and new baby and her sisters can share the bigger girls' room.

I’ll definitely be doing that! They’re constantly trying to drag me to ikea and redo parts of their room anyway so I think they’ll be excited.

DD3 and DD4 are both very easygoing and enjoy sharing a room as well - they often beg me for “sleepovers” (which just means they top and tail in the same bed...). So unless DD5 hates sharing, I don’t see why they’ll be unable to! Thanks for the reassurance everyone :)

Thanks Kitty.

One of the senior people I work with who is an absolute genius is one of 14. He grew up in HK in a one room apartment. Told me he often slept in the hallway. His parents spent their money on feeding and educating their DC rather than a bigger home. I think they prioritized correctly.

One of the senior people I work with who is an absolute genius is one of 14. He grew up in HK in a one room apartment. Told me he often slept in the hallway.

That’s an amazing story! His parents must have been superhuman.

As an aside - I was one of nine and after my parents died I grew up moving about between aunts/uncles/grandparents/foster carers, rarely having my own room, and I still got to Oxford having lots of siblings was what kept me going which is why I knew I wanted 5/6 kids! I’d love more but think 6 is a good place to stop plus I’m 40 in a few months

You have to be pretty insecure in your own parenting to be so desperate as to use kids sharing a room as an example of 'bad parenting'

I mean to have nothing else to feel superior about other than having less children than someone