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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset at how my son was treated after being sick?

267 replies

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 08:50

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious.

When the teacher realised she was very good and comforted DS cleared up the sick and sent a child to get a 1st aider.

The other children then went to break and the 1st aider (deputy head) kept saying how badly it smelled and the teacher should not have cleared it up as its not her job. Teacher kept saying she didnt mind and the only thing she was concerned about was ds. But the deputy kept commenting on the smell. Two other members of staff then came in and said how disgusting this was.

DS was mortified. (He is nearly 11.) Is it worth putting in a complaint?

OP posts:
CuckooCuckooClock · 03/02/2018 18:07

I've just remembered that last time a kid looked like they were going to vom I quickly ushered her out of my classroom so she was sick in the corridor and I could carry on with my lesson.
I'm evil!
I wonder if her mum complained.

RedHelenB · 03/02/2018 18:11

At 11 they should have some idea they are feeling sick.

missyB1 · 03/02/2018 18:14

Cuckoo what are you on about?? The OP is unhappy with the D head making a fuss about the smell, not the location of where her ds vomited!

HJ40 · 03/02/2018 18:16

I don't think this is complicated. OP is overreacting,and DS possibly over sensitive, but deputy head 1st aider should have been more selective in what she said in front of ill child. If OP had said 'WIBU to have a quiet word about being careful with words' rather than 'complain' I think the responses here would be very different. Sorry OP, but wanting to 'complain' just doesn't make sense and doesn't comes across well. Get over it.

Wellthen · 03/02/2018 18:17

I’m shocked at the responses you’re getting. I’m a primary school teacher and think the staff saying ‘it stinks’ were completely inappropriate and tactless. As an adult I’d be embarrassed to be sick but I’d be mortified (and quite hurt) if they pointed out how unpleasant it is.

I would have a word with the Head (because the staff member is DH).
DS said how kind his teacher was and I’m really impressed at how sge went beyond her call of duty to clean up. But he was embarrassed by quite a few adults commenting on the smell - I just felt that was a bit unkind and could be done out of his hearing.

It’s not a ‘complaint’, just asking the Head to look out for this kind of thing and maybe revisit first aid policies.

The fact vomit stinks is irrelevant - it shouldn’t be said in front of the ill person who is already embarrassed for exactly that reason.

Original poster
lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 18:17

If you feel nauseous at the smell of vomit why be a trained first aider?

OP posts:
insancerre · 03/02/2018 18:20

Because they were probably told they had to be
Plenty of parents can't stand the smell of vomit, god knows why they had kids

Original poster
lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 18:20

But fwiw cuckoo ds had fainted.

You wouldn't have got him out onto the corridor. It was a while before he could lift his head.

OP posts:
derxa · 03/02/2018 18:25

Well I misread. The rest of the class went out. OP's DS should have been taken to another place to recuperate and then he wouldn't have heard all this hoohah. That was the staff's mistake.
Please go in and complain to the school about their swift handling of this incident. What do you think the consequence will be? I suspect it will damage your DS's reputation amongst the staff. Not all teachers are sensitive souls as we all know. Some are down right nasty. And some are a bit lacking in tact (like the DH).

Lizzie48 · 03/02/2018 18:26

@RedHelenB maybe the DS did know he was about to feel sick but didn't feel able to speak up? So many teachers don't let children leave the classroom to go to the toilet. He might have thought he wouldn't have been believed.

derxa · 03/02/2018 18:29

He might have thought he wouldn't have been believed. But the CT is nice. Why didn't he put up his hand?

Cheby · 03/02/2018 18:33

YANBU OP. Their behaviour was thoughtless, unkind and unprofessional.

It’s exactly the same as the healthcare scenarios the OP proposed. It wouldn’t be appropriate to humiliate someone in that scenario and it isn’t in this either.

OP I would mention that their words have left DS upset over the weekend, and politely ask that they consider their impact in future as he was very embarrassed.

UnicornRainbows · 03/02/2018 18:33

Same as, if someone threw up all over your office (say), it wouldn't be your job to clean it.

Yeah well I don't work in an office. I'm a midday supervisor in a school and I've cleaned up sick several times. I guess I'm not as snowflakey as the 'its not in my job description' types Grin

ShadowKitty · 03/02/2018 18:33

I think that commenting in that way on what would already have been an embarrassing situation for your son was insensitive. I'd tell them how embarrassed he felt so the teachers can handle that sort of situation better in future. I would feel the same if it was my kid.

Original poster
lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 18:33

Derxa he had fainted

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 03/02/2018 18:34

Indeed, but for whatever reason he didn't. I suppose he might have been embarrassed to say anything. He fainted, though, it might well have happened very quickly.

derxa · 03/02/2018 18:36

OP I would mention that their words have left DS upset over the weekend, and politely ask that they consider their impact in future as he was very embarrassed. Would you really do this? What do you think the impact of that action would be?

Original poster
lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 18:38

I do think you are being a bit provocative derxa.

You know what the impact would be.

OP posts:
derxa · 03/02/2018 18:39

Derxa he had fainted Yes and I feel very sorry for him. It must have been horrible but when he came to what happened? Surely people were tending to him. And if he was so woozy how did he have such a clear recollection of what people were saying?

Original poster
lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 18:41

Because you remember people coming in and commenting on how awful a smell is.

Plus some social media comments from other kids.

OP posts:
derxa · 03/02/2018 18:42

I'm not really being provocative. I'm thinking about your son. Just draw a line under this. Unless people continue to be unkind about this episode. Then it is bullying and you have to make a stand.

BustopherJones · 03/02/2018 18:43

I get faint when I'm not well. It started in my teen years. I recognise the signs and sit down before it gets too bad most of the time. I wouldn't have been able to recognise what was happening at 11 - if it's not a regular occurance you can't expect a kid to know what to do. And when you feel woozy and faint you aren't thinking 'better tell someone I'm going to be sick'.

Pengggwn · 03/02/2018 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crimsonlake · 03/02/2018 18:43

If the op's ds had fainted or felt faint as she is saying I fail to understand how he could have claimed to have heard what others said in such detail? It is usually other children in the class making a fuss and commenting about the smell.

BustopherJones · 03/02/2018 18:46

derxa In my experience, after fainting I get a burst of energy and immediately feel much more alert so I wouldn't be able to tell you much about what was going on beforehand but I'd be perfectly aware of everything after I came to.

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