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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset at how my son was treated after being sick?

267 replies

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 08:50

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious.

When the teacher realised she was very good and comforted DS cleared up the sick and sent a child to get a 1st aider.

The other children then went to break and the 1st aider (deputy head) kept saying how badly it smelled and the teacher should not have cleared it up as its not her job. Teacher kept saying she didnt mind and the only thing she was concerned about was ds. But the deputy kept commenting on the smell. Two other members of staff then came in and said how disgusting this was.

DS was mortified. (He is nearly 11.) Is it worth putting in a complaint?

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 03/02/2018 12:35

This reply has been deleted

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Mogginthemog · 03/02/2018 12:46

YANBU. The deputy’s constant comments about the smell were not ok especially while DS was In earshot. Of course sick reeks but that didn’t need pointing out. No need to make DS feel bad or embarrassed about it at all. I
Used to be a TA in reception. Loads of accidents and sickness. I always did my upmost to make the child involved feel as ok as possible about a distressing situation. I would never ever comment on how much their vomit stank. That’s just
Unkind and lacking in compassion. We all throw up and It’s upsetting, very uncomfortable and visceral and any child needs to be comforted and cared for with kindness and dignity.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 03/02/2018 12:51

I can't imagine any teachers at the DC's primary school acting like this. I would expect primary teachers to set an example, how to show kindness, tact, and proportionate responses.

I would write in making those points and thanking the class teacher for us more normal response to child who's been sick.

Willow2017 · 03/02/2018 14:39

pengggwn

So you would leave a pile of sick on.the classroom floor all day cos its not in your job description?

Personally i couldnt humiliate a child like that. Can't you imagine what the other kids would say to them? I would hope none of my kids teachers would do it either.

Lizzie48 · 03/02/2018 14:44

I can't imagine a teacher being able to bear the sight and smell of vomit. Why would anyone not clear it up as a matter of course??

sixteenapples · 03/02/2018 14:46

I have become less and less inclined to do anything nice for anyone anymore. The teacher was brilliant, the first aider dealt with it afterwards, your son was cared for. Still you want to complain.

The other 29 kids were affected. The school is also responsible for them too. I am sure that windows had to be opened, (in silence for heaven forbid someone should say why windows had to be opened!)

If a colleague collapsed and was sick would clear it up even though it wasn't your job? Unlikely.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/02/2018 14:46

I would expect primary teachers to set an example, how to show kindness, tact, and proportionate responses.

I would expect parents to also. They don't.

Life however is full of disappointment.

Pengggwn · 03/02/2018 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Willow2017 · 03/02/2018 14:52

The other mids went out for break so they wetent inconvenienced. Opening a window is hardly the same as an adult acting like a toddler reapeating "oh that stinks" in front of a sick boy.

If a colleage was ill of course any normal person would do whatever it took to help them. Seriously you and your workmates would all gather round saying "Well its not 'my job' lets just leave the sick there for several hours till the cleaners get here/somebody can do it next shift and complain about the smell"

Willow2017 · 03/02/2018 14:57

Emetophobia isnt the reason you stated. You said "Because its not my job"

I just wonder how long people would be happy to leave a pile of sick in the classroom before someone cleaned it up? If you are in a school full of adults surely someone is capable of doing it?

runningoutofjuice · 03/02/2018 15:03

So the DH commented on how badly it smelt? Presumably they were making a decision on whether opening the windows would disperse it before the children came back in? The children's comments on the smell would be a lot worse! Cue lots of fake vomiting and groaning noises. Maybe they were talking about seeing if another room was free. Who knows? We only have an ill child's version to go on. And originally the op didn't say the teachers used the word 'disgusting' but it seemed to have morphed into that. We will never know! Good on the class teacher though. Focus on that.

Pengggwn · 03/02/2018 15:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzie48 · 03/02/2018 15:09

I was thinking that the DS was probably more anxious than anything about what the other children would say in the playground. Children that age are not known for their tact.

missyB1 · 03/02/2018 15:13

Good job this precious deputy head doesn’t work in our school. Last week there was an outbreak of D&V, at one point there were 3 children having diahorrea, and 2 kids vomiting, all at the same time! It was all hands on deck, there were teachers, TAs, and the Head herself, all cleaning floors and children! The head was scrubbing the corridor floor. We got all the kids cleaned up and into their PE kits whilst we waited for the parents to arrive. All without a single nasty comment about the smell!

Pengggwn · 03/02/2018 15:18

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missyB1 · 03/02/2018 15:22

penngggwn we only have one man who teaches Year one, yes he had to be involved because he had the two vomiters in his class.

Pengggwn · 03/02/2018 15:22

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

princesssparkle1 · 03/02/2018 15:28

I must say i really could not care less what is said about me in the staff room.

But don't you see that if you are a pain in the neck parent your child is tarred with the same brush. It's not fair but it happens.

NotTreacs · 03/02/2018 15:32

I'd send in a thank card (and possibly a little box of chocolates) to lovely teacher for looking after your DS so well so she knew how much your DS appreciated it.

I'd leave it at that.

Ollivander84 · 03/02/2018 15:33

I don't think they should have commented at all. I deal with body fluids every day (not HCP) and I never comment unless it's someone I know v well and that's more "get your gas mask!" type thing

Lizzie48 · 03/02/2018 15:40

Surely if you work with children in a primary school you shouldn't be so precious about puke, it happens! Ok it smells, get over it. Sounds like a great school, @missyB1 with the Head leading by example. Smile

derxa · 03/02/2018 15:50

Why didn't the teacher call for help and then move the class into the hall or something?

How will your son cope at secondary OP? He's going to hear a lot worse than 'vomit stinks'.

Willow2017 · 03/02/2018 17:48

dextra
All the kids went out for break. You expect silliness from kids not the adults in charge.
There was no need to repeat "that stinks" several times in front of child who was ill and enbarassed enough.

Lizzie48 · 03/02/2018 18:00

All the kids went out for break. You expect silliness from kids not the adults in charge.
There was no need to repeat "that stinks" several times in front of child who was ill and enbarassed enough.

This, absolutely. The adults in charge (apart from the class teacher) do seem to have behaved in a very unprofessional fashion.

CuckooCuckooClock · 03/02/2018 18:03

I was thinking the same derxa
How will he cope at secondary? I'm a secondary teacher and there is not a chance I would clean up a kids vomit. I would be nice and sympathetic and pass a bucket and some paper towels but that's as far as I'd personally go.
I wouldn't comment on the smell but lots of people do comment on the smell of vomit. I guess that's how they cope. Most people feel pretty nauseous if they smell someone else's sick.