To think sharing a bed with DS is weird

[AtSea1979]

DS is 12 (13 is a couple of months) not a toddler. We co slept until he was 5 ish. When he was poorly, scared etc he used to get in my bed. But not for a couple of years. He’s got tonsillitis and is in pain and miserable. He’s just asked to get in my bed and i’ve said no he’s too old. Now I feel a bit sad that i’m the one making it weird. But what do others do? (so as not to drip feed, i’m a single parent)

DS is a recent 13 and in the past two weeks has slept one night in his bed because he had flu.
It doesn't help that he has a bunkbed that he insisted on me buying.

It's not weird.
He goes to bed before me and jumps out before I stretch to wake up.
The bed is wide enough that we very rarely even touch when we sleep.
We have more physical contact while sitting on the sofa, actually.

If he'll feel uncomfortable he'll stop.

My DS (11) regularly sleeps with me or will come in during the night. He is very cuddly anyway and I cherish those moments as I know they won't last forever.

I often find those quiet moments in the dark can be when he opens up about things that are worrying him or general questions that are on his mind. The physical closeness leads to emotional closeness which I think builds strong foundations.
I've never thought it was odd at all, he's still a boy who just needs his mum.

A couple of years ago I was staying at my parents' over Christmas. I went out for the evening and when I got home my mum and dad were tucked up in bed watching Last Tango in Halifax so I got in with them to watch it. It was a lovely, special moment

I don’t get into bed with my dd’s but I’m sure if they begged me too and they were really poorly I would, I have shared with dd2 (11) whilst on holiday and I don’t think it’s weird.

Sharing a bed with a parent for comfort and support is great.

I presume that posters would have no issue if the parent was a Dad sharing the bed with their child?

It's not weird. He is and always will be your child and we all need our Mum sometimes.

I was 38 and going through chemo, we were staying with my parents to help make childcare easier and my Mum used to tuck me up in her bed on the bad days and sit and talk to me to distract me from feeling like poo.

Every weekend morning our bed looks like a creche! And ours range from 21yrs to 14mnths. And when one is ill they are bound to arrive at some point. Although (and probably considered just as weird by some) the twins will often top and tail in one bed when poorly.

Make the most of a cuddle x

If he is ill it is just mothering and I don't see a problem. As a prepubescent boy regular co sleeping would be unhealthy IMHO.

I love it when DS gets in, in the middle of us on weekend mornings. He doesn’t really snuggle; he just wants to chat, and we have a massive bed. He’s 17 and 6’1”.

Glad he nodded off OP- tonsillitis is horrible.

Oh shockers that is so lovely!

Ds (12) has just jumped in beside me for a Saturday morning cuddle, I love it

He's my only one so I'm happy to hold on to these moments as long as I can

StillMedusa that made me chuckle! What a lovely ds you have (mine are 4 and 7 and I hope they grow up to be as kind and relaxed as yours!).

ohfourfoxache same But my Mum died when I was 31 (I'm 36 now). Would do anything to sit on her lap and have a cwtch, which I did right up until she became too poorly. Would hate to think my sons would grow up thinking they couldn't do the same because they happened to be born with willies (again, not aimed at you OP, but the bat shit pp's).

Hope your poorly son gets well soon OP, and enjoy those warm snuggles

He'd be in beside me and I wouldn't think a thing about it. The lad is ill and obviously needs that security. DS1 ended up in beside me when he had a hellish case of chicken pox at 15 and DD will still sometimes cuddle in beside me if DH is nightshift and she's 17 soon. Sometimes I've ended up perched at the end of their beds when they are ill like the dog as they have wanted their own beds but want someone beside them. Hope your DS feels better soon OP.

shape

My mum isn’t a cuddly person at all, my dad a little more so but not to the point where I would do anything more than give him a hug on his birthday. In fact I specifically remember him telling me I wasn’t allowed to kiss him goodnight any more. I must have been about my DS age.
I’ve always tried to be the opposite, open and cuddly. I was just a bit thrown last night because he hasn’t wanted that the past couple of years.

As adults we might seek comfort and a cuddle when ill - why would it be weird for a 12 year old to?! Poor wee man.

Aww. Poor boy. Of course 12 isn't too old.. as long as he's not sleeping in your bed as a regular thing it's absolutely normal.

On rare occasions my son would be ill or unable to sleep and ask me to get in with him , right up to 15 (usually turned out he'd watched some horror movie). He has a double bed so lots of space.

I miss it - lucky if I get a pat on the head these days...

Not weird, no.

My 16 year old DS got in bed with me at 3am the other night when he was feeling poorly.

Hope he's feeling better this morning op. I always know when my youngest son is upset as he comes for cuddle. (No bed though) and he's 25 and a foot ta!led than me. They hopefully always need their mums.

My DS occasionally gets into a bit of a funk when he can't sleep and comes through to our room upset/teary. Once his head hits the pillow in our bed (usually with DH shipping out into spare room), he's asleep.

Doesn't happen often these days (he's also 13). I think it's fine.

Definitely not weird and never too old.

Shockers my 22 yo ds sometimes clambers into my bed for a chat on a weekend when DH has already got up. Doesn't happen that often because he's normally still asleep after I'm up. Love it when it happens though.

Aww no not weird at all poor boy he is obviously in pain and feeling frightened. I'm so glad you let him in, there is nothing worse than feeling ill and anxious, and on your own.

Glad you had him in with you! Poor boy, it's not nice feeling so poorly.

When DP was around 24 his DM just found out her partner of 10 years was leaving her for the OW. He and his DSis got into bed with their DM and cuddled her all night while she cried. I thought it was lovely of them. We regularly have our two DC in bed with us.

We're all human and need some physical and emotional closeness from our loved ones when we're feeling down.

I am sure I was wrong before OP so please ignore what I said. I never had a son, (but just a troubled upbringing and experiences which influenced my answer). Please follow other ms' advice!

Wild dont ever apologise because everyone else seems to say something else. I find it incredibly odd that 17yr olds and beyond get into their mum and dads beds on a national level.
I dont think it is the norm
I still maintain i dont want to sleep with any of my children, they have every other part of me but my bed and sleep are mine. As i said would care in other ways.
If it is weird to you then its fine.
I bet these are the future MILs who feel compelled to go into their married sons' bedrooms so they can see how they sleep