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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think sharing a bed with DS is weird

166 replies

AtSea1979 · 02/02/2018 22:54

DS is 12 (13 is a couple of months) not a toddler. We co slept until he was 5 ish. When he was poorly, scared etc he used to get in my bed. But not for a couple of years. He’s got tonsillitis and is in pain and miserable. He’s just asked to get in my bed and i’ve said no he’s too old. Now I feel a bit sad that i’m the one making it weird. But what do others do? (so as not to drip feed, i’m a single parent)

OP posts:
Nocabbageinmyeye · 02/02/2018 23:10

Maintain boundaries?? With her 12 year old CHILD.?? That is so fucking sad. He is sick and wants his mam but she should maintain boundaries, wow that's cold!

Shesipsacocacola · 02/02/2018 23:13

Jeepers, I'm 37 and I live in a different country to my Mum. Whenever she stays at mine or vice versa we always sleep in the same bed

WildWindsBlowing · 02/02/2018 23:14

It isn't cold to not sleep with an adolescent nearly 13 year old boy when you are his mother.

That has nothing to do with not giving him the love and affection he needs at all times including when he is ill.

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 02/02/2018 23:15

mousewatch it’s a super king size bed so we can watch tv in it at the wkends.

OP posts:
MrsZippyLake · 02/02/2018 23:19

I used to get into my parents’ bed as a teenager when I was ill. Bacterial tonsillitis is bloody awful.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 02/02/2018 23:19

Of course it's cold to say no to such a simple innocent request from your sick child so you can "maintain boundaries", cold as ice

(Not you op)

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 02/02/2018 23:21

adolescent nearly 13 year old boy

What???

Hellothereitsme · 02/02/2018 23:21

Of course it’s not weird at all. Call him back and make the most of those cuddles. Soon he won’t want to get into your bed I promise you.

Xeneth88 · 02/02/2018 23:21

Yes it is cold to not offer comfort to your child, over night, when they are ill, turning 13 doesn't flip a switch. Sharing a bed with your child no matter what age is not weird or whatever else you may be thinking. It's not like its an everyday situation and judging by every other normal reaction on the OPs post, it's a perfectly normal way to comfort your child. I find it very weird that anyone would think of boundaries over sharing a bed with their ill child, 9 months or 19 years old.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 02/02/2018 23:21

It's not co sleeping, it's one night!

Trinity66 · 02/02/2018 23:22

He's your child, why is it weird? My son is 13 and he's still my baby

Xeneth88 · 02/02/2018 23:23

As a pp poster said, my post is not at all aimed at you OP. It's not co-sleeping, its a one off.

Doctordid · 02/02/2018 23:23

Teen dd is always getting into my bed. She has sen and struggles sometimes and plus I have a beat blanket...
I get the bloody dog too.
Seriously it's fine.

Doctordid · 02/02/2018 23:24

HEAT!! Not beat...

Ohforfoxsakereturns · 02/02/2018 23:24

Physical affection doesn’t need to stop, in fact the longer it goes on the better. I remember the last time both my boys slept in my bed (they were ill, about 10 I think). No one should ever deny a bit of physical comfort. Get him in the morning for a brew and some telly in bed maybe? My boys are 16 and 15 now and never leave, or enter, the house without a cuddle. Don’t feel sad. Just know it’s ok. Smile

UrsulaPandress · 02/02/2018 23:24

Glad you've got him with you.

UrsulaPandress · 02/02/2018 23:25

Whoops. Misunderstood

Primarkismyonlyoption · 02/02/2018 23:25

I think it's too old myself and would say no.

PickAChew · 02/02/2018 23:27

Give him a manly hug and some extra cushions and blankets.

My 14yo was much taller than me at just turned 13. Of course that can feel odd.

TonTonMacoute · 02/02/2018 23:28

No, it’s not weird OP, enjoy comforting your poorly DS.

It’s when they don’t want you any more that you have to worry Sad.

parkermoppy · 02/02/2018 23:28

I've always wanted my own bed when ill, but until the age of about 14 i got in to bed with my mum from about 7am-8am, I'm not sure why!

Make the most of it, bring him in in the morning with some tea and toast!

iklboo · 02/02/2018 23:28

DS(12) gets in bed every morning for a cuddle. He usually ends up dozing back off on me.

Originalfoogirl · 02/02/2018 23:29

I’m 43 and would cuddle up to my mum in bed when poorly if given the chance 😂

Our girl is 8, my rule of thumb is, she is too old when she stops asking (no sign of that happening!)

She’s in her own bed tonight. This thread makes me want to go get her 😝

Thishatisnotmine · 02/02/2018 23:29

My dds are only three and nine months but we always go with 'different riules when poorly'. If he is nearly 13 he will probably have a feeling that his friends would rip the piss out of him if they knew he asked to sleep next to his mum. So he must be feeling really ill! He is feeling rubbish and wants some comfort.

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