Can't stand his beard any longer!

[lizzlebizzle33]

I know s lot of ladies love a man with a beard and find it sexy but I'm just not one of them.
OH has had a beard for like 3 years now, and I'm not talking stubble it's a full on big wirey beard and I just hate it, I can't enjoy kissing him and it's actually affecting our sex life.
He knows how I feel but loves his beard it's like his comfort blanket.
AIBU to ask him to cut it? Or do you think I should just accept him how he is and try and see past it?

All I can say is, I share your pain.

My sexy stubbly DP now sports a full on massive doormat and will NOT get rid of it

I know what you mean.

I felt the same when dh had one, totally agree that it’s their body their choice- I know how I’d feel if I was asked to shave parts of my body but it didn’t make me like it!

Is there any way (apart from growing my lady garden) you think I could get him to get to of it? I just want to feel his nice soft face on mine again 😩😩

Once in a while I grow a beard for about a month then get fed up of the prickle on my own skin! And it leaves skin looking great when you shave it off (because you've 'rested' your skin from daily shaving), but surely if your lady is not impressed and it's causing issues in more intimate ways - it's got to go!

Looking forward to the whole beard thing being done and dusted, it’s minging

It’s his body and his face, so he can do what he likes. However, you could ask him to take care of it and keep it groomed and tidy if it’s affecting you!

He's had people tell him he looks like Tom Hardy so he's obv in no rush to shave it off!

Does he like your hair, figure and all that as you have been together for so long? Introduce some products and let him enjoy his beard.

That's the thing, I agree that it's his body and his face and he's entitled to grow a beard if he wishes but I just hate it, don't know what to do, I just have to live with it don't I.

Ooh, I hate it when DH gets even a bit of stubble, but sometimes he decides to leave it for a few weeks. He doesn’t like me wearing my hair up very much, so I just wear it up until he shaves. And also, I refuse to kiss him ‘because it irritates my skin’.

I always had short hair until a year ago when after having DS1 I hadn't had chance to get it cut for a while so started tying it back and he really liked it so I've kept it long for him.

YANBU. Beards are minging. They LOOK all right on many men, but feel vile. (IMO.) When DH had one, I couldn't kiss him; it made me wretch when I could feel the beardy hair on my lips. And oral sex was off the table completely.

I told him there would be no more sex, or intimacy of any kind - not even kissing - if he didn't shave it off. Within an hour, it had gone.

OP, tell him you are going to shave your head AND grow your muff hair!

I feel like this too. Every once in a blue moon my DH trims it right back and I think he looks so much better. Then it gets all unruly and out of control again and I fancy him less. I feel bad for feeling this way, but I can't help it!

Shave your head, see how he feels about a drastic change in your appearance

I do have a bit of extra weight on at the moment, ds2 arrived in November, but he says it doesn't bother him at all

Petbear 😂

My boss grew one a while back and I actually think he looks very handsome with it - but then he's my boss and I have no intentions of sleeping my way to the top, so it's a strictly aesthetic question for me.

Just say something for goodness' sake! A beard is really not a reason why an otherwise good relationship should get into trouble!!!

I wonder if maybe he's being obstinate, as sometimes, when you're told someone wants you to remove it, it can work against you?
Is there any way you can be subtle and sort of suggest he's sexier without it? Like next time you go out and he's well dressed, and maybe tell him he looks fantastic, and if it wasn't for the beard, he'd be drop dead gorgeous?... so it's less confrontational?

(just thinking aloud!)

Ltb

YANBU, OP. I hate it when DH starts growing a beard.

He shaves it off when I refuse to kiss him when he's spiky.

When I had a thread about this before, I learned that lots of women prefer bearded cunnilingus. Which makes me recoil in horror, frankly.

The only reason to prefer that, is because of the velcro effect and it means they are stuck to the task for hours!

I'm the opposite, love my dh with a beard and find him much less attractive without it. Unfortunately it's gone very white in the middle and he doesn't like that look at all so it's stubble length right now (I suggested he died it but he wasn't keen ). He knows I find beards very attractive and would like it longer, but it's his face and he has the right to have it however he likes so I try not to comment (too much) as he finds it a bit upsetting/ annoying when I do.

OP talk to your dh, perhaps there is a compromise that would make you both happy, but be gentle as he obviously thinks he looks good with a beard.

TheBrilliantMistake - not envy.

If my OH told me to cut my hair because it was grossing him out I’d be fairly hurt, if he wanted my hair in a specific way I’d see it as controlling. I can’t see how it’s okay. However if you get a GOOD QUALITY beard conditioner and beard oil then they feel heavenly... gotta be good ones though, otherwise they don’t do much.

Two issues there:

Looking good with one
Feeling good with one (from the woman's perspective)

I suppose it's quite tormenting if someone looks better with one, but feels worse.