Taking partners foreign surname

[AmIBeingCrazee]

Hi all,

Just something I’ve been thinking about lately. I’m a white woman in the UK with an Irish surname. My DP and I have talked about marriage in the future over the past year and it’s made me think. He has a common Asian surname as he is Vietnamese. Think ‘wong’ ‘chang’ ‘nguyen’.

Is it silly to think about in the future if people see my name written down before they see me in person, they would think I’m completely different from what appears by my name. For example my race, which could affect job applications and such.

In my first job my managers name was Ms Ngenda and I was very surprised to see her in person upon meeting as a white lady. Just goes to show preconceived impressions.

Anyone else had a similar experience taking a foreign surname ?

I am a British Asian married to a British white guy. We have 2 dc and we all have dh's English surname. The dc look more white than Asian. A few weeks ago I introduced myself to an Ed Psych at dd's special needs school. Bear in mind, we are in London, she looked at me, shocked and unhappy and said, "Oh!" It wasn't in a pleasant way.
I feel life will be easier for my dc than it was for me as they look more white and have English names. It's so sad to have to say that.
I remember as a teenager looking for a part time job, going into a famous retailer, the assistant getting the manager, him coming out of the office, looking me up and down and saying, a big fat no. I looked pretty smart and friendly. Anyway I did get a better job eventually.
However, I hope that attitudes will change to be less prejudiced and I hope people will become more open minded.

• the ed psych knew my daughter already.