Child only eats beige food!!

[helpmysonwonteat]

Name changed for this one.
Both me and DH love food and cooking, when I was PG I had visions of cooking family home cooked meals and all sitting round the table, and I have tried SO HARD to do this.
When DS was being weaned it took a while for him to get used to purees and then when he did it took ages to get to lumpy food. We tried BLW, he wouldn’t pick any food up. Took till he was 18 months to eat anything that wasn’t mashed up, then one day he decided he wouldn’t eat mashed food any more, so we tried giving him smaller portions of our food. Wouldn’t eat it, completely refused, screamed at the sight of it. Only thing he showed any interest in was nuggets and chips. That was August and he’s refused any other food since other than toast, crisps and yoghurt coated fruit. In the mornings I have to blend fruit and veg into a smoothie to make sure he’s gettting his vitamins.
Health visitor said ‘just offer what you’re having and nothing else if he doesn’t eat’ I did that and he didn’t eat for a day other than his usual snacks. I couldn’t have him going to bed hungry so gave toast - this went on for a few days so I called the HV back and she said ‘offer him what you eat and nothing else for four days, if he doesn’t eat then take him to A&E and get him fed on a drip ’
That’s not advice I am willing to follow.
He had nuggets and chips on Christmas day!
Any advice beyond ‘starve him into submission’ would be welcomed - please be nice and I want it to be known I am not one of those parents you read about in the sidebar of shame that sends their children off to school with a mars bar for lunch! We eat really well and if I had my way he would too - he’s little but always has been, consistently on 23rd percentile since birth.
My friends’ autistic daughter is the same, and autism runs in our family (sister is very high up on spectrum) so that’s a worry in the back of my mind as well because he is extremely hyperactive and won’t ever sit still, even when a room full of children are sitting still for song time at playgroup etc.

I feel for you OP, my DS1 is incredibly fussy - it's not just taste but texture too and he's always been the same.

He's now almost 7 and it's only in the last 6 months that he's started to even try different things. Before that he lived off beige food. He didn't like food to touch on the plate. He would only eat certain brands of stuff - he could taste the difference if I bought a cheaper different brand.

I've often wondered whether he has sensory issues as he can sometimes be funny about the texture of clothes as well.

The book "getting the little Blighters to eat" is worth a read. We haven't followed the rules to the letter but the ideas are interesting and it has certainly helped us to take the pressure off mealtimes and find different ways to deal with things. We've found it more useful as DS has got older but I really would recommend it. I think DS was about 2 when I bought it.

We stopped making him a separate dinner every night from late last year. We said that he needed to learn to eat what we eat and we thought he could do it. We had tantrums for about a week but alternated each day between a meal he'd eat and one that was new to him. I think a combination of him being a bit more mature now, plus us taking the pressure off has really helped. If he asks to try something, we let him, whether we think he'll like it or not. We don't comment on what he has or hasn't eaten in a meal time. The only rule we have at the table is that you can think what you like about the food, but you don't say "yuck" etc as it's rude. Also dessert isn't given as a reward. Some days we have it, some days we don't. It is completely unrelated to whether he has eaten all his dinner or not.

He now eats a much wider range of food - including "wet" food like spag Bol or chicken korma. We still have days where he won't eat much or doesn't want to try it.

Don't worry, just feed him what he'll eat and try to stop stressing about it. Hopefully as he gets older he'll get the hang of it.

And fwiw, at DS's 2 year check my lovely HV said that chicken nuggets, waffles and peas wasn't a terrible diet and not to worry, he'd improve eventually.

I have a big one like this. Will not eat anything that is not brown or beige. Hates textures.
Will eat peas and stuffing if mixed.
I make loaded sauce/gravy that is used in cottage pie and spaghetti/meatballs. I liquidise veg, add a stronger taste like tomato ketchup/bbq sauce and he is non the wiser.
I got sick of the dinner table battles.
Waltons we are not, despite my dreaming!

I don’t know what makes Crumbs such an expert. As far as I knew she sent all her kids away to boarding school ASAP to go live in her Parisian hotel. Oh no wait, that was your bedroom, right Crumbs?

Regarding super tasters - I've seen this demonstrated for real. Went out for a meal with a fairly large group of people, many of whom didn't know each other. One woman asked if, for fun, she could find out if any of us were supertasters - she worked in nutrition, and handed out these little paper strips which we had to just dab on our tongues. Most people tasted nothing, one poor chap suddenly started gurgling and almost retching. To him it tasted absolutely foul!
I have wondered if our girls have very sensitive tastes, DD is very brand specific too but both of them like some things (usually the same things) that have strong flavours like Parmesan cheese and plain chocolate. Food not touching also a big thing here, I think DD would love one of those trays with little raised rims between compartments!

Really interesting you mention supertasters, I posted up thread about my converted fussy eater but she is indeed a supertaster! The bbc came into their school last year for research and did a little test on all pupils and she was identified as a super taster.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat, I think if you’ve done your research properly you’ll see that far from sending my children away ‘ASAP, the two eldest went all the way through local state school whilst the others went boarding as a pragmatic solution that took a long time accepting when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and needed surgery, chemo and radio. Three of them were embarking on or were mid public exams and we wanted to minimise disruption for them. My husband works away a lot so the idea of all the household and child juggling was a concern before I knew how I’d cope with the treatment. It didn’t seem fair on them to watch their mother wilting whilst trying to cope with exam pressures. Your comment is I’ll info and nasty.
My children’s eating habits are entirely down to me, so I am very experienced, as happens.

My children’s eating habits are entirely down to me No. This is where you are dead wrong and why you aren't contributing anything helpful to this thread. You are lucky that your DC eat what you want them to. It shows a shocking lack of imagination and empathy that you cannot grasp that it doesn't work like that for everyone.

Crumbs, people will generally let you have your fantasy but you can't keep giving advice based on it. In the past week or so you've told a twin mother not to worry about lack of movement, played down the risk of going post dates, and you've always given wildly unrealistic advice about feeding.

Tell your fairy stories on Christmas threads all you like, but if you try to give real people advice, you are going to keep getting this pushback.

I've been where you are and, in hindsight, I think it's best not to offer them nuggets, Crisps and chips at all, they don't get to chose what they eat when they're so little, it's given to them.

If they're never given them, they don't get to know how delicious they are. It is a real Pandoras box situation though and easier said than done.

I haven’t done any research, Crumbs. In fact I rarely notice user names unless someone make particularly outlandish claims. Funnily enough, your name keeps popping up.

MrsDilber - as has already been said on this thread a number of times, when you have a child that will not eat and will starve itself, you will literally give them anything ANYTHING that they might eat. Because its better to get some calories in than none.

of course I would have preferred my DC to eat like his siblings but when offered this food we had screaming, gagging the lot. So you end up on a sort of supermarket sweep where you open the larder and get out tins and packets and show it to them to see if it appeals. I have lost count over the years of the number of half eaten tins/packets we have either thrown away or fed to the siblings.

the problem is that unless you have a house without any of these other things in then of course the supertaster child will see them around and will on occasions be given them. we don't have a huge amount of crisps or sweets in the house but we have biscuits for clients and this is how he first discovered marylands. what do you do with a child falling over through lack of food who keeps pointing at the tin asking for marylands and wont eat anything else? I don't mean this happens just for a day, I mean after several days of actually eating nothing.

Mrs deliver I agree. What's a 2 year old going to Do, get the food shopping on their own? If there's only healthy and varied food on offer that's what they'll eat.
And yes children food habits are up to the parents mostly.
How can they only eat chicken nuggets if they are not available.
Supertasters they may be, that only means they can taste everything.theyll be good chefs. Not a reason for extreme limited diet. Oh but they get multivitamins, that's ok then.
Can't see the point of starting this thread other then have a lot of your doing fine just give home what he wants kind of replies.

Mummyme you get rid of the tin.

Glad to see you’ve actually bothered to read the thread @Offyougo

I have actually. Just don't agree.

Would you care to tell my son’s paediatricians? Do you want the senior neurologist or the one who sees him annually? I’m sure they’d be grateful for your insights.

Oh so very fussy child has complex health problems now. It may be the case for yours, but how many peiple answered this thread?
Are they all in your position? as I said it's not my problem, my kids eat well. People shouldn't post if they only want certain replies.

Offyougo - I did originally type a long and considered response to what you have written - most of which I have tried to answer in previous posts. but the most appropriate response is "you cant argue with stupid"

My only hope is that you aren't a health professional bringing such a poor understanding and lack of empathy. Your holier than thou attitude - treating people like me whose child is like this as if we are some sort of scum that only serve our kids ready meals and ping food - is honestly awful.

We, the rest of my children and my DH and I eat home cooked, non processed foods. My son eats home cooked non processed foods most of the time but his diet is very limited. I cook every meal from scratch - even pizzas and burgers, we make our own bread, we have our own produce from the farm etc.

I am really glad your kids eat well. Mine eat well too - just one of them is very limited. I sincerely hope for their sakes that they don't develop any sort of eating disorder in their teens/twenties or that they have children who do. Because really your comments would be damaging. I am also glad that you have never had to be in a situation of such utter desperation where you will feed your child anything just to get them to eat and to stop them having to be drip fed. it really is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even someone with your crushing lack of empathy.

He's had them since birth actually - he's registered disabled. But don't let the door slam on your bigoted disablist arse on your way out.

@mummymeister - . So hard isn't it? My son's issues with food are a fucking nightmare. We can't eat out and holidays abroad are fraught with anxiety. The idea that this is my choice and I'm just a shit lazy parent would be laughable if it didn't make me want to cry

Jigglytuff - yep, completely understand. My son doesn't have any disabilities and apart from his issues with food, he is a normal, happy, healthy and intelligent child. what keeps me going is the fact that all my other children eat everything. they can all cook basic meals from scratch and wouldn't have a ping meal because they know how I feel about them. the idea that I have in some way treated him differently or been a different parent to him is one I constantly struggle with. Eating out - nightmare! he hates eating in public and we choose somewhere that does pizza or burger which fortunately nowadays most places do. going abroad is the same and we have even resorted to preloading him with food before we go out so we get to eat somewhere different. we aren't shit lazy parents, just that is the way that they are.

Firstly: give him what he will eat for meals. A stressed young child - and that includes being hungry - is not in a mindset to try scary new things.

For the longterm plan of extending his diet, sort out new foods that are as close as possible to what he already eats, put them on a plate, sit on the floor next to him, and tuck in yourself. Encourage him to take an interest, and poke your food, and offer to share. I make no guarantees, but sometimes this worked.

People shouldn't post if they only want certain replies
Says who? I specifically said in my OP for helpful comments only and ideas of things to try WITHOUT resorting to ‘give him nothing else’. Most posters have given an abundance of helpful advice, the few of you who have just come on here to judge and belittle, especially when some of the posters (NOT myself despite your previous claims) have children with additional needs.
Your comments are ignorant at best, ableist at worst.

Offyougo - quite a few of the posters who responded to the op said their children had reasons such as ASD, sensory processing or complex health issues....and if they don't then, if the problems with eating are that severe, the eating issue becomes a need in it's own right.

The thing that get's peoples backs up with yours and Crumb's posts, is your absolute belief that a child will eat what their parent's want them to, My children’s eating habits are entirely down to me, so I am very experienced, as happens - ergo if your child eats well it is down to your superior parenting, and if they don't eat well it can only be because that parent is lacking.

You completely misunderstand what 'supertaster' is, you wilfully ignore the fact that there are many things that can cause people to have restricted eating, even when posters give their experience of the advice given by their child's drs and dieticians, you stick your fingers in your ears and bray, "tra la la....a child won't starve.....tra la la....put the food down and don't give them an alternative.....tra la la....my children eat everything I give them because I say they will and all children are just like mine..."

But you 2 are a brick wall I am banging my head against, and frankly I am starting to care what you think, and that is a step too far.

I don't get how parenting has anything to do with a child's tastes. My mum gave me broccoli every weekend without fail still don't like it. Same with mashed potato, cabbage, salmon and pork. Strange how even when my mum cooked pork, mashed potato and cabbage at least once a fortnight I still don't like it as an adult and would still rather starve than eat it. Must let my mum know she failed.....