Child only eats beige food!!

[helpmysonwonteat]

Name changed for this one.
Both me and DH love food and cooking, when I was PG I had visions of cooking family home cooked meals and all sitting round the table, and I have tried SO HARD to do this.
When DS was being weaned it took a while for him to get used to purees and then when he did it took ages to get to lumpy food. We tried BLW, he wouldn’t pick any food up. Took till he was 18 months to eat anything that wasn’t mashed up, then one day he decided he wouldn’t eat mashed food any more, so we tried giving him smaller portions of our food. Wouldn’t eat it, completely refused, screamed at the sight of it. Only thing he showed any interest in was nuggets and chips. That was August and he’s refused any other food since other than toast, crisps and yoghurt coated fruit. In the mornings I have to blend fruit and veg into a smoothie to make sure he’s gettting his vitamins.
Health visitor said ‘just offer what you’re having and nothing else if he doesn’t eat’ I did that and he didn’t eat for a day other than his usual snacks. I couldn’t have him going to bed hungry so gave toast - this went on for a few days so I called the HV back and she said ‘offer him what you eat and nothing else for four days, if he doesn’t eat then take him to A&E and get him fed on a drip ’
That’s not advice I am willing to follow.
He had nuggets and chips on Christmas day!
Any advice beyond ‘starve him into submission’ would be welcomed - please be nice and I want it to be known I am not one of those parents you read about in the sidebar of shame that sends their children off to school with a mars bar for lunch! We eat really well and if I had my way he would too - he’s little but always has been, consistently on 23rd percentile since birth.
My friends’ autistic daughter is the same, and autism runs in our family (sister is very high up on spectrum) so that’s a worry in the back of my mind as well because he is extremely hyperactive and won’t ever sit still, even when a room full of children are sitting still for song time at playgroup etc.

It always seems to be junk/ frozen foods tho doesn't It? How many kids are there that have a very limited diet consisting of lettuce, apples, grilled chicken breast? No One? As I said before of course there are cases of severely autistic children for example that will genuinely starve rather then eat different foods. But as someone said there's a lot of limited diet children now. And from their point of view, between try new foods and coco pops twice a day...its not difficult to see what a child would choose. I didn't dismiss Op's concerns. Its just that she seems to have already decided that her sin food issues (its only 2?!) Are SN related after a half arse attempt on only offering normal foods. A day of snacking and he was starving himself,really? That's not what starving means.
Anyway your kid your problem.Mine have their like and dislikes but eat everything.

Obviously everyone should bow down to your superior parenting skills then offyougo or maybe you should just be happy that your kids eat and hope they never restrict their diets for whatever reason.

Oh and by the way here are some of the small amount of foods my nephew eats: green beans, carrots, mash potato, plain pasta, tuna and sausages. So not junk at all

offyougo if you had read the thread properly instead of skimming you will realise that nowhere at all did I say he had SN, just that I wasn’t ruling it out due to a family link.
Additionally, again I reiterate if you had read the thread properly you would see I have done rather more than a half arsed attempt lasting one day!
Just that I refuse to withhold food for any length of time at all. Judging by the replies, I am clearly not alone in the terrible parenting decision of not starving your children

The moment you relax is the moment you can deal with it. Which is probably the hardest thing to do in that situation.

DS was a beige eater. He isn't NT but eludes other diagnosis. The most prominent trait was that he just didn't see food as something to be interested in. It is purely fuel and he does a lots of miles to his tank.He doesn't eat sweets, cake, ice cream or flavoured drinks, which made him a total oddity amongst his little friends.

He gags even now when he's offered new things, but will try very occasionally and has increased his repetoire. DH and I could've won Oscars for faux casual the day he picked up a sausage.

Now he's 11 and just eaten an Organix fruit purée because he will, and as he doesn't get enough fruit I let him. Then again his favourite restaurant food is scallops and ribeye.

tssdncop YES this is him. Even the foods he will eat I have to place in his mouth whilst playing, he gets no enjoyment out of eating whatsoever and doesn't really bother about chocolate or treats whereas all his friends love them.

Ex fussy eater here. I vividly remember not being allowed to leave the dining room table until I'd eaten my Pizza! I remember it wasn't deliberate I genuinely did not like the taste. I also remember the more people asked me to try something the more I wouldn't want to.

Once I'd left home and could try things on my own terms in a relaxed manner I was more willing and will now eat pretty much anything.

My advice would to be relaxed at meal times, chat about your day rather than what he is and isn't eating.

Maybe try what my kids call a sharing tea. I put chicken, salad, and rice into different bowls and serve with tortilla wraps. They love choosing what to put in each wrap and the process of spooning out their own portion.

My DD would eat very strong cheddar, wholemeal bread, houmous and jacket potatoes skin and all, wouldn't eat sweets, ice-cream or drink squash. So it wasn't just junk food she preferred over healthy food. She refused fruit and veg from first weaning at 6 months when she had never been near oven chips, chocolate or cake.

We tried withdrawing alternatives to the family meal on offer, didn't work. Years and years of bits of steamed veg untouched next to safe foods. School told me she would tuck in once she saw her friends eating, she was as at nursery since she was 9 months old and peer pressure did not work there so school made no difference. Came home from play dates having barely eaten a thing.

I still get judged despite my ASD child eating home made veg curry at the age of 2. Always blame the parents.

How many kids are there that have a very limited diet consisting of lettuce, apples, grilled chicken breast? No One?
Seriously what planet are you on? You have no understanding at all do you? Have you no read some of the replies on here? You are simply stuck in your thinking that a child won't starve themselves, are only fussy because they get junk food/snacks, and all a parent has to do is cook a meal from scratch and they'd eat it. What on earth makes you think that parents of children that won't/can't eat don't cook from scratch, and just feed chocolate and crisps for snacks?

Fruit is one of the few things my ds will eat, as is on a good day plain chicken. unfortunately you cannot thrive on simply fruit and chicken breast.

Exactly, the blame the parents culture is strong and I always find myself giving my life story and all the things we've tried to get him to eat, to these people for fear of being judged as a happy meal mama!
DS kept asking me for a maccies burger, he has seen my DH have one and he was on about it all day. After six months of chicken nuggets almost, this was so welcoming! So I bought him one, he was really excited, you could see the torment in his face how much he wanted to try it but he just couldn't even pick it up. He looked sad and said 'mummy eat it'.
He won't eat white bread, only wholemeal or granary or homemade, and loves his smoothie drink every morning so long as it looks like his normal juice and is in his special bottle, so it's not like he is health averse.
Also sidebar, he loves cooking and baking and getting involved in making food just not scoffing it!

I was so smug when I weaned DD1

Oh that rings a bell OP. DD desperately wanted a Happy Meal because she had seen (bloody) Ryan from Ryan Toys Reviews (godawful YouTube thing) have one but she just couldn't bring herself to put the burger in her mouth.

As for the ignorant judgypants above, her acceptable foods included hummus (full of protein and fibre), natural peanut butter, bananas, and the only drink acceptable is plain water.

It always seems to be junk/ frozen foods tho doesn't It?

Does it? Not here. My dc won't touch crisps, biscuits, burgers, hotdogs, chips, waffles, fish fingers, pasties, pastries or a whole multitude of junk food.

I have a friend whose DD will only eat fruit and veg. Nothing else. She shares my worries, yes it's healthy food but it's very limited and not enough to sustain her growth. Definitely a myth that this issue is only junk food...

Until ds was about 5 he wouldn’t touch most “freezer foods” he loved “proper” meals. Then gradually he got more and more restricted overtime. The turkey dinosaurs were offered out of desperation when he stopped eating beef burgers.

Tuna jacket potatoes are about the only food he still likes from his early childhood. I dread the day he stops eating them as that will leave me completely stuffed for what he has at school!

I'm dreading school when the packed lunch police get involved. I just hope it's sorted before then. He won't drink plain water either or milk - already read the Vimto news story of last week and was wondering how I could smuggle a bit of sugar free squash into his water bottle!
Just hope it's sorted before then!!

Sorry, repeated myself there

In my ds case he was very ‘fussy’ and I always made my own chicken nuggets, he refused to try chip(until age 15) preferring mashed potato ( home made , not packet ). He would eat broccoli and apples but refused to even try anything else on account ( we now know) of the smell. He is now 18 healthy and 6 ft and although still ‘fussy’ with certain foods is a lot better and has no problem eating out. In hindsight and in the grand scheme of things it was more stress than was worth and I’d advise parents to just give children what they want to eat. I think OP is doing fine.

OP one thing I remembered is that DD seems somewhat more amenable to attempting new things (and indeed eating full stop) earlier in the day, so if possible I will introduce new things and do her main meal of the day at lunch, then she can just have weetabix/porridge for dinner without me stressing. I think when she's tired and knows it's nearly bedtime she has no energy or motivation to eat.

In answer to your question above, the GP referred us to the paed for investigations into ASD after her nursery raised concerns at 3.5, and I wouldn't consider her a severe case at all.

Yeah it’s just junk food.

DS doesn’t like ice cream, chocolate or most sweets. He won’t drink squash or fizzy drinks.

Like others, food is of very little interest. He has recognised hunger less than 10 times in 11 years.

But I’m just a shit parent

Fussy eaters are hard.
My son was great when he first started weaning but once teething kicked in he’d eat less and less, for a long time all he’d eat was yogurts or bananas. Was also given ridiculous advice from HV which would’ve basically lead to me starving him - and he would’ve rather starved than eat what I was making.
For a long time, Probably until around age 4 he’d cry hysterically and wretch when I gave him something he didn’t like the look or smell of. He’s now 6 and eats pretty well.

I hope it gets better over time for you.

School told me she would tuck in once she saw her friends eating, this is so frustrating isn't it Scone. School said the same thing to me when I warned them about ds' food issues. They are now aware of the true extent of his food issues. Unfortunately for ds I had to allow them to discover it for themselves although I did warn them and express concern

black if it makes you feel any less apprehensive the "lunch box police" can be made to make reasonable adjustments, and leave well alone from commenting on the contents of a lunch box.

Offyougo and Crumbs you seem to have made lots of assertions about restricted or fussy eating, whilst managing to know diddly squat about the many different and complex reasons why it might occur.

With this complete lack of understanding you have both ascertained that the perfect way to deal with it is a rather revolutionary method of offering a healthy variety of food and not.....hmm, what hackneyed reactionary word can I use.....oh, I know....not 'pandering' to the child. Oh frabjous fucking day, it's a miracle....the child will eat, yada, yada, yada.

Except sometimes they don't miraculously eat.... and sometimes you have other children who do eat a healthy variety of food, and you all eat together as a family, and you let the kids serve themselves, and serve your finger foods and dips and you take your children shopping for food and cook with them, and you try tiny tastes, and still your child sticks to their safe foods (and yes, do you know what...some of them are junk foods, or chocolate based cereal products).

Then what. What do you do then, Offyougo and Crumbs?

And what do you do when after 7 years of eating difficulties, dieticians and gastroenterologists advise you to get calories in, and prescribe fortified drinks and foods and start talking about feeding tubes....what then?

I mean no child starves themselves do they?

I hate the expression 'fussy eater'
My DSD and DD are both 'particular' eaters. DD's diet, whilst limited is mostly healthy, DSD's was less so (she liked beige) but DSD is now a young adult and her palate has broadened and she is willing to be a bit more adventurous.
Both girls are quite sensitive to the texture of food and dislike food that is too wet or slimy - DD likes ice pops for example, but not ice cream. Both of them like dry, crunchy foods. And carbs!