DH has hours of calls logged to a number I don't recognise

[livingontheedgeee]

So, we use a phone provider where you pay for a monthly contract then need to add credit for things like calling overseas, dialling non-standard numbers etc. Normally DH and I keep £10 extra credit on just in case.
Last night, DH ran me as he's working away and asked me to top it up for him (he's completely technophobic).Normally I'd just log into the app on my phone but I was sitting at the computer at the time so I logged onto his online phone account to do it from there.

Right there, on the front page, it gave the top 5 numbers he calls with the number of hours associated with each number. One number he'd spoken to for 364 hours over the course of a month! Checking further (of course) he'd also sent 13 MMS to the same number meaning he's sending picture messages too.

Now he does use his phone a lot if he has to speak to clients and there are some clients he calls regularly but looking at the other calls, none of them are more than 10 hours across the whole month.

So, I went to his phone contacts list and lo and behold, here's the number assigned to some woman who I've never heard of.

I want to confront him but neither do I want to look stupid. He's never given me any reason to think he's messing about. Except perhaps he doesn't call me every day like he used to. Sometimes he goes two or three days without a call. This is the only change in his behaviour but thought it was on the back of me saying he needn't feel obliged to call every night.

Question is, do I call this number? Or do I ask him outright? Do I let it ride and see if he continues to call her?

Hope it's all innocent. My DF recently started using emojis in texts and (also being a technophobe) didn't realise they were beIng sent as MMS - with the associated charge! Could it be that for the 13 MMS?

DO MORE DIGGING before you spill the beans to DP.

There are some very above posters on this thread.

Naive

Trust your gut and keep digging...it doesn't look good but I hope that it is innocent!!

Havent read through whole post, but the photo messages could be work related - we (my work partner and I )regularly brain storm things on a white board, take a photo and text. I would say at least 3 times a week.

Does your Dh know you can access his call lists? I really hope it's nothing bad op.

Dig first. If you know it's a woman in Dumfries you presumably have a name. Is she Facebook friends with your husband as a starting point?

I would hold fire for now, if you can, whilst you try and find more proof as to what has been going on.

Hoping for you that it’s nothing sinister OP.

It may be very industry dependant but I have several clients that I speak with for upwards of six hours most weeks, let alone months, and I probably speak with about 50%+ of my clients for more than 6 hours a week. I don’t tend to picture message my clients much but I can think of two (both in the 6+ hours a week category) who mms me pictures quite often, a few times a month maybe more if there have been multiple incidents, and I don’t think I have mentioned any of those clients by name to DH.

Some pp might well say I am being naive but what you’ve found would not concern me at all. But of course you know your husband and his industry so will be far better placed to know if that is worrying.

OP I wouldnt jump to conclusions . I know you said DH is a technophone however unless him and this woman are extremely dense they would not be so obvious .

I have been in a similar situation however "d" H would never be so stupid to use texts, MMS, call log or ask me to top up for him where I could see these things. I would say were are pretty far behind the current tech however even he managed to not leave a trace.
Anyone with half a brain cell would use any of the multiple chat apps which use data and therefore dont show a trackable phone number on a phone bill , or have their number as searchable on FB or profile picturel to show on whatsapp apart from to their own contact list so hopefully this mean it is innocent if you can find out if DH does have work contact that could be in dumfries or what is shows on linked in.

• technophobe nor technophone

I'd really have to text it!

And what will be the consequence for the op's dh's business if this woman turns out to be a client or legitimate professional contact? I'd probably take my business elsewhere if I found out that the wife of a business associate was stalking me online and trying to find out personal information about me. Making fake phone calls probably counts as harassment.

I hope everything turns out ok OP but for me in this situation is have to do as much digging as I could and I don't think I could trust myself not to say anything to either him or this woman

Hoping for the best for you OP x

Making fake phone calls technically does count as harassment, if it can be proved...How-ever...I would phone the number and ask to speak to "Dave" or "John" or other really common man's name OR I'd make a fake call to her counselling service / other service...you know it's not, but you will get a reaction and find out what type of person she is, plus hear how she answers the phone, if it's a business or a work number. Also, you can always say "sorry, wrong number" and ring off. She'll be none the wiser, especially if you hide your number first!!

Surely he would cover his tracks a bit better if he were up to no good! I think there will be an explanation for this, OP.

Have you tried googling the number to see if it comes up with anything business related?

I hope it's nothing awful.

For what it's worth, I send my business partners and employees picture messages all the time.

If he's in the trade (he sent you pictures of a job he's just done) he could have been sending a client pictures of previous works, or examples of things that he's planning to do to her property...

I don't think talking to a client or indeed a colleague for 6 hours in a month is unreasonable. And again, I make LOADS of out of hours calls to my business partners and occasionally clients.

But something's got your spidey senses twitching... Sending love.

6 hours a month does not sound suspicious. And be careful if you're going to sleuth because if it turns out all innocent, it might hurt your husband's business relationship with this client.

Surely he wouldn’t ask you to top up his credit if there was something dodgy to be found in his phone records?

Is there a chance your account could have been hacked and it's someone else? Not sure if this is possible with your provider.

Hope it's all innocent OP!

Get hold of his phone (secretly) and see if he’s deleted the calls and messages between them and then you’ll know. If he hasn’t, then it probably is business related. Or, if he uses an access code that you don’t know then it’s possible he feels safe enough to not delete them. Get his phone, if it needs an access code, ask him what it is just straight out. This will tell you a lot just doing that. If he refuses to give it to you, tell him you came across unusual charges on the bill, have it in your hand, and that you want to look at his phone. An innocent spouse will want to look at the bill too out of curiosity and will gladly hand over the phone and give you the access code to let you look.