DH has hours of calls logged to a number I don't recognise

[livingontheedgeee]

So, we use a phone provider where you pay for a monthly contract then need to add credit for things like calling overseas, dialling non-standard numbers etc. Normally DH and I keep £10 extra credit on just in case.
Last night, DH ran me as he's working away and asked me to top it up for him (he's completely technophobic).Normally I'd just log into the app on my phone but I was sitting at the computer at the time so I logged onto his online phone account to do it from there.

Right there, on the front page, it gave the top 5 numbers he calls with the number of hours associated with each number. One number he'd spoken to for 364 hours over the course of a month! Checking further (of course) he'd also sent 13 MMS to the same number meaning he's sending picture messages too.

Now he does use his phone a lot if he has to speak to clients and there are some clients he calls regularly but looking at the other calls, none of them are more than 10 hours across the whole month.

So, I went to his phone contacts list and lo and behold, here's the number assigned to some woman who I've never heard of.

I want to confront him but neither do I want to look stupid. He's never given me any reason to think he's messing about. Except perhaps he doesn't call me every day like he used to. Sometimes he goes two or three days without a call. This is the only change in his behaviour but thought it was on the back of me saying he needn't feel obliged to call every night.

Question is, do I call this number? Or do I ask him outright? Do I let it ride and see if he continues to call her?

Hope all turns out well for you but so worrying. Would he be truthful if confronted by this information do you think? If you feel maybe not, you could say who is 'whatever her nickname on phone is' and if he asks why, say someone said something and you wanted to hear it from him. Hoping it won't come to that though

Poor you Op- no advice but it sounds really tough!

And aren't you also a delight britbat

britbat seriously? That’s a horrible thing to post.

I’d call the number and do a bit of bluffing- confirm a fake restaurant reservation in your DH’s name and listen to her reaction. Withold your number. But if you don’t want to arouse suspicion with DH then don’t do it tonight as he might now be panicking from afar that he’s basically driven you right to proof of the deception and it’s too obvious for you to start digging tonight and he might prepare/warn her for your calls. If you can sit on it for a week....

Basically whatever he imagines you’ll do if you uncover evidence such as this- do the opposite.

Is he friends with her on Facebook?

I'm sorry that you are going through this, I really hope there's an innocent explanation

@britbat23 that is vile.

Does sound a bit suspcious especially him having her in as a nickname rather than actual name. If it were me I try to get some more evidence before confronting him I think

I don't know how you haven't phoned the number by now.

Classy britbat23 really classy. Also, you are aware that you now get the deletion message on Watched Threads, are you not?

Apologies for de-railing your thread, OP.

Oh you must be so worried. I really hope there is a simple explanation x

He asks you to top up his phone. He is technophobic (I am snorting out loud sorry, top ups must the easiest thing in the world to do).

Why would he risk you doing this for him if he had something to hide? Hmmm.

Good luck with the sleuthing. I hope it is all innocent anyway, and not another rabbit hole thread that will get pulled with a little note from HQ in due course.

I would definitely hold fire confronting.

Can you check your dh phone when he returns?

britbat obviously thinks she/he is so clever to imply that the OP isn't genuine, do you want a gold star?

I'm not sure about jumping to conclusions on this one - as like a previous poster I also spend time on my phone calling clients. I'm fact I've just looked at the log to check and I've spoken to 2 clients for over 4 hours this month alone. Although I have used whatsapp to send them pictures rather than MMS. I am definitively NOT having an affair with either!!

My stomach is churning for you. I really hope it’s innocent, but it’s not looking good if he’s complaining about another client using up too much of his time and it’s nowhere near the amount of time he’s on the phone to this woman.

Someone else already asked this, but can you see previous months?

Trouble is with so many free chat/photo etc Apps, he could have been ‘talking’ to her for months, just not on his phone.

Does her job role fit with your DH's industry? She could live in Dumfries but work in the North as it's less than an hour's drive away at certain points. As for sending MMS, on occasion I've sent copy documents as pic attachments on MMS. I wouldn't panic just yet. It could still be innocent.

From bitter experience the first reaction (if there is anything going on) will be denial. You need to dig deeper to know if there is something either potentially about to happen or already happening. Without this you may just be made out to be a suspicious mad woman.

Hope you're ok op xx

My DP isn't a technophobe at all but for some reason he was surprised when he logged into his phone account and it gave him all the information like who he called etc. Maybe OP's DH didn't know this either.

There are definitely many possibilities and PP's are right and don't go accusing until you find out all the facts. I really do hope you're okay OP, these things can be horrible.

I hope it's innocent

I think your jumping to conclusions.

Who has an affair where they only speak for what an hour and half a week? That have only sent a handful of texts?

Do some more investigating op. Hopefully this will all be innocent.

Are they both on WhatsApp? Do their settings show if they are online? If so wait until your OH is 'online' and check hers to see if her online / offline movements mimic his (obv not conclusive though)