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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH has hours of calls logged to a number I don't recognise

999 replies

livingontheedgeee · 29/01/2018 18:22

So, we use a phone provider where you pay for a monthly contract then need to add credit for things like calling overseas, dialling non-standard numbers etc. Normally DH and I keep £10 extra credit on just in case.
Last night, DH ran me as he's working away and asked me to top it up for him (he's completely technophobic).Normally I'd just log into the app on my phone but I was sitting at the computer at the time so I logged onto his online phone account to do it from there.

Right there, on the front page, it gave the top 5 numbers he calls with the number of hours associated with each number. One number he'd spoken to for 364 hours over the course of a month! Checking further (of course) he'd also sent 13 MMS to the same number meaning he's sending picture messages too.

Now he does use his phone a lot if he has to speak to clients and there are some clients he calls regularly but looking at the other calls, none of them are more than 10 hours across the whole month.

So, I went to his phone contacts list and lo and behold, here's the number assigned to some woman who I've never heard of.

I want to confront him but neither do I want to look stupid. He's never given me any reason to think he's messing about. Except perhaps he doesn't call me every day like he used to. Sometimes he goes two or three days without a call. This is the only change in his behaviour but thought it was on the back of me saying he needn't feel obliged to call every night.

Question is, do I call this number? Or do I ask him outright? Do I let it ride and see if he continues to call her?

OP posts:
Nottheduchessofcambridge · 31/01/2018 18:37

Oh gosh op, I hope you’re ok.

Obloody · 31/01/2018 18:37

Hope you're ok x

OfficeDictionary · 31/01/2018 18:39

Just rtft. Lots of us have been in similar situations. Hope it goes as well as it can and you stay strong Thanks

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 31/01/2018 18:41

OP, are you okay?

Ninabean17 · 31/01/2018 18:42

Thinking of you op. Whatever is happening, we hope you're ok. X

Stormwhale · 31/01/2018 18:42

Everything crossed for a positive outcome for you op. The waiting and not knowing would be killing me. So sorry you are going through this.

himynameiss · 31/01/2018 18:42

Following

yummycake123 · 31/01/2018 18:43

Hope you're ok OP. I went through a similar thing years ago with a previous relationship; the wondering and thinking about it is exhausting.
Hope you get an answer that satisfies you...

2birds1chick · 31/01/2018 18:51

Thinking of you, OP.

Sorry there are still idiots on here who just write 'following', without any words of advice or comfort. Anyone would think they're secretly hoping for this to turn out badly for you. Fuckwits...

IsThisADream · 31/01/2018 18:55

Stop posting or the OP won't have a thread to come back to!

Lashalicious · 31/01/2018 19:08

Hope you’re doing ok, op.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 31/01/2018 19:32

Really really hope you just look like a tit, OP. Stay strong - mn is behind you xxx

OurNextAdventure · 31/01/2018 19:52

Didn't want to read and run. We are all here for you. I hope you are ok

LeggyLinda · 31/01/2018 20:00

Been keeping an eye on this thread waiting for an opportunity to give advice or assistance, but any benefit of my experience has already been said.

Not wishing to read and run again I wish you all the best OP and hope it turns out for the best. Sounds like it’s turned into a potentially messy situation. But equally it could all work out fine too.

Just remember most things work out in the end - it’s just the journey can be hard at times.

Hugs for you.

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 31/01/2018 20:23

Hope all is ok

PotteryLady · 31/01/2018 20:24

Hope it works out - nothing more to add, you have been given great advice already Thanks

CaptainCabinets · 31/01/2018 20:27

Oh I really hope it's all innocent OP! Flowers

mydietstartsmonday · 31/01/2018 20:34

I really hope there is a reasonable explanation. Sending you hugs

bookworm9229 · 31/01/2018 20:53

Thinking of you OP x

Pooshweens · 31/01/2018 21:24

Good luck

Mouseville65 · 31/01/2018 21:27

I hope your ok 💐 I really hope this is innocent and your marriage is ok

NauticalNavy · 31/01/2018 22:36

Hope this turns out to be nothing, OP Flowers

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 31/01/2018 23:02

Good luck OP.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 31/01/2018 23:07

Stay strong OP, listen to what he has to say, you're no fool, there may be nothing in it, who knows.
We're here for you Sister. 🌸

ICantUnderstandWhy1 · 31/01/2018 23:07

Good luck x