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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH has hours of calls logged to a number I don't recognise

999 replies

livingontheedgeee · 29/01/2018 18:22

So, we use a phone provider where you pay for a monthly contract then need to add credit for things like calling overseas, dialling non-standard numbers etc. Normally DH and I keep £10 extra credit on just in case.
Last night, DH ran me as he's working away and asked me to top it up for him (he's completely technophobic).Normally I'd just log into the app on my phone but I was sitting at the computer at the time so I logged onto his online phone account to do it from there.

Right there, on the front page, it gave the top 5 numbers he calls with the number of hours associated with each number. One number he'd spoken to for 364 hours over the course of a month! Checking further (of course) he'd also sent 13 MMS to the same number meaning he's sending picture messages too.

Now he does use his phone a lot if he has to speak to clients and there are some clients he calls regularly but looking at the other calls, none of them are more than 10 hours across the whole month.

So, I went to his phone contacts list and lo and behold, here's the number assigned to some woman who I've never heard of.

I want to confront him but neither do I want to look stupid. He's never given me any reason to think he's messing about. Except perhaps he doesn't call me every day like he used to. Sometimes he goes two or three days without a call. This is the only change in his behaviour but thought it was on the back of me saying he needn't feel obliged to call every night.

Question is, do I call this number? Or do I ask him outright? Do I let it ride and see if he continues to call her?

OP posts:
astoundedgoat · 31/01/2018 10:47

I really hope you look like a tit, Living. Be kind to yourself.

iknowimcoming · 31/01/2018 10:48

Oh dear, sadly I think it speaks volumes he couldn't just offer an instant explanation about a client or similar but you already know that. Ducks in a row time, can you safely 'relocate' some money today? I know that sounds dramatic but it can always be moved back if not necessary Sad

gingergenius · 31/01/2018 10:49

Hoping for the best for you x

FluffyWhiteTowels · 31/01/2018 10:51

Try and keep an open mind. Hard I know. I too hope your next update is I’M A TIT - blue or great?

purplelass · 31/01/2018 10:54

Really hoping you get to look a tit and that the next time you post it's with relief and you can put the whole thing behind you... good luck!

Idontdowindows · 31/01/2018 10:55

I am seriously keeping everything crossed that it's an innocent explanation and that you two can get through this.

MacNcheese87 · 31/01/2018 10:57

It doesn't look good OP. And he has (presumably) a few hours to come up with an alibi and work out a way to make you believe him IF it's dodgy. But all signs point to dodgy and the fact he didn't straight up answer you means he IS hiding something from you, atleast for now.

I sincerely hope it's not what it looks like. Keep your cool. Listen to him, but don't necessarily believe him unless you have solid proof. You're more than entitled to raise suspicion, even more so given his rubbish reply.

trulybadlydeeply · 31/01/2018 10:57

Fingers crossed that it isn't what you suspect. Take care OP.

muttmad · 31/01/2018 10:58

I hope you get the answers you're looking for, however by giving him this advanced warning you've now given him time to delete anything incriminating and come up with a plausible explanation.... hoping he isn't that devious and everything works out for you.

Figgygal · 31/01/2018 10:59

If it's so innocent why is he on his way home?

Ninabean17 · 31/01/2018 11:00

Good luck op. Another one here hoping it's innocent.

rainbownights · 31/01/2018 11:02

Or it could be that he is devastated that the OP has messed with his work contacts and now is coming home to sort it, to see why she was so mistrusting of him.

Why do people always jump to the nastiest conclusion?

JaneEyre70 · 31/01/2018 11:06

I hope you get answers from him - this must feel absolutely horrid for you, and I hope you got some sleep Flowers

Thebluedog · 31/01/2018 11:06

Glad he’s coming home OP. I do hope he hasn’t deleted the messages and will be fully prepared to be open and transparent with you. In your shoes I’d want to read all the texts and if you’re not completely satisfied he should call her in front of you too.

Unfortunately he’s now got time to concoct a story of things aren’t innocent

alphajuliet123 · 31/01/2018 11:08

Did anything come of the number swap, OP? And have you changed it back?

Tell him you have done a LOT of digging and see what he comes up with. Hope you are OK.

Pearlsaringer · 31/01/2018 11:11

RTFT but have the memory of a goldfish so apologies if this makes no sense. She couldn’t be his birth mother could she?

BeyondWitchbitchterf · 31/01/2018 11:13

Did you mention you know her name? Just if he says "oh that's Jill" when in fact you know her name is Jane, it would imply that everything else following that isn't true.

rainbownights · 31/01/2018 11:14

Pearlsaringer That is as plausible as an affair in my book. A long lost relative or friend whom he found through social networks or something. Isn'r anyone allowed to have any privacy without it being deemed sordid? smh

LizzieSiddal · 31/01/2018 11:16

living you’ve done the right thing, being direct with him.

I hope it is all a huge mixup. Flowers (And won’t “look a tit” anyone should be suspicious.)

2017RedBlue · 31/01/2018 11:16

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

lurkingnotlurking · 31/01/2018 11:17

Good luck.

isthismylifenow · 31/01/2018 11:20

Hoping it is all innocent OP, but he now has time to come up with a story. I have been in a cheated on situation, the lies that come out, are pretty unbelievable. Amazing what one can think up.

On one of your previous posts, you said that you couldn't go this something like this is again. We you referring to a previous relationship, or has he cheated in the past?

LizzieSiddal · 31/01/2018 11:24

Yes he does have time to make up a story but the texts will tell the truth.

If he’s deleted the texts, you have your answer and no story he comes up with will ever cover that up.

AgathaF · 31/01/2018 11:24

I really hope it's innocent.

rainbownights · 31/01/2018 11:24

Why are people STILL trying to persuade the OP that her husband is a liar?

Some suspicious minds on here. Some seem to be sat behind their keyboards salivating at the thought of a big showdown.