To feel like I'll never be enough?

[lovelystar]

We hadn't been together long when I fell pregnant but my boyfriend convinced me it was what he wanted and we could make it work together and we'd be a happy family. So I stayed with him, miles away from my family and spent alot of time and money making up a home for us and getting everything ready. Now 4 weeks away from our little boy arriving and all he does is get angry and depressed that he can never see his friends anymore or 'smoke' with them and is miserable everytime he is with me, even described it as a 'ticking time bomb'. I understand it's hard to adjust and he may be freaking out but I gave him an out so many times and so many opportunities to back out without any blame from me. Now he's left it so late when I've moved all my belongings/furniture/baby items to where he is and made up a nursery and completely redecorsted a flat for us. We have the perfect family set up and I am more than ready to start our life as a family together but now I know it's not what he wants I'm struggling to look foward to it. I've given him everything, every part of me and all my effort but whenever I suggest moving back with my family where I have the support and love he says I'm being selfish and all women want to do is take babies away from their dads. He doesn't love me and only stays because he wants to see the baby and is scared I'll take him away. I would never stop him seeing his son and would never try and turn him against his dad either.

Sorry I know this is long but I just needed somewhere to vent because I feel completely hopeless and whatever I do I will never be enough or be enough to make him happy. I've poured every part of my life and soul into making this work and I do love him but now I know he's miserable I can't feel satisfied or fulfilled. I just wish he'd have let me know this isn't what he wants when I had time to make other arrangements. I'm stuck in a loveless relationship and can't get out. I'll never be enough whatever I do and it hurts :( how do I fix this.

I thought people had stopped reading here so sorry for ignoring/not checking! No baby yet ubfortunatley, just had Braxton Hicks and having a minor panic attack, even if it was the real thing though disappointing to know he wouldn't really care! My mum has come down to stay with me so I'm not alone, he's never in the flat anyway so doesn't matter. Me and DM had long chats, will drive halfway home and stop then carry on the next day so new baby isn't in the car for such a long time. Will bring all the essentials and as much as can fit in the car. Getting a van down for some furniture, other bits a friend is buying of us cheap as he has just moved into a new flat close by. Will definitely keep updated on everything just really wanting little one to make an appearance now!

I'm so so glad you've got your mum. You will look back on this time as just a blip before your real life your your baby.

And don't think for a second that your mutual friends are taking his side. in my experience, people don't really know how to react to behaviour like that because it's not normal. So they aren't reacting, but they are certainly thinking "Oh my God, poor Lovelystar. i hope her mum helps cos I don't know what to do!"

wishing you lots of strength OP. Im glad youve got your mum now x

I was in a vaguely similar situation get out, move, much easier now and hospital will sort you out.

Please don't be asking if you will ever be enough. Instead start asking if he will ever be enough for you and your child. For what it's worth, I think you both deserve better & I'd be moving back home and, as soon as bub arrives, put in a claim for child maintenance.

When you said you'd never even been on a date with him, my heart broke for you. I don't want to upset you but maybe you need to chalk up the loss of your savings to experience. Take every single movable thing that you've bought out of that flat, though, for when you get a place of your own. As for what he said about women wanting to take kids away from their fathers, I'd retort that it's usually for a bloody good reason, like in your case.

Your maternity notes can surely be sent electronically to another hospital? You need to be where you feel supported, and wanted. Have your baby where you will both be surrounded by love, stability and care.

Wishing you well.

Are you home yet?

Well done OP.Now is the time to be strong! Best thing for both you and baby now is to stay with your family, where you are safe.Don't let yourself be talked around.

Because people like that don't change. I've lived it, only I was stupid enough to stay longer than you have.